The easy way is set before me. It has dawned on me that the easy way is not God's way exactly. It would be easy for me to walk away from everything and just date some girl or get drunk every night. It is hard for me to read God's Word everyday, not because I don't like it or it is a task to me, but creating time to be in God's presence isn't easy in my hectic life. But nonetheless I do make time, because it isn't my time to horde anyway. I've learned from King David that God's "hard" way requires inquiring of the Lord God and doing exactly what He instructs us to do. In doing this God allowed David to succeed. For instance, it was very easy for me to ignore God when he told me to pray about dating Katie instead of rushing into it, but it was hard when I knew he was telling me to step back, which eventually turned into calling it off completely. It was hard, but now I know that it was the right thing to do; it was what God wanted us to do. So, the easy life or the hard life? As for me, I made a commitment almost five years ago to serve God with all my life, like a marriage, in hard times and in easy times I will continue to serve and follow God. I don't care where that leads me in this life, that is of no consequence. No compromise. Peace, you have my love.

"I'm not the one, I'm just the Vis." What does that mean? It means that I am nothing more than another human being, a simple vessel of God's grace. Well, hopefully that is what I am doing: being filled by grace and pouring it out. I am realizing and will need to continue to realize that without being poured into I can't pour out anything that is from God. This internship is already proving itself to be more difficult in that area than I expected. I am fairly drained and it is only Monday night. I am feeling partly transparent in this "world" as opposed to being at Trinity where I was known. Not being prideful or anything, but I enjoy affrimation. Maybe being the Vis here isn't possible. Well, I'll just be the Vis in the underground. It's more beautiful that way. peace, be still.

I didn't miss the party, I missed writing.

I am at "home" now. But this isn't home. Home is in 104. Home is with Josh, Brad, Andrew, Stephs, Katie, Adam, and on and on. This is the worst case of post college blues ever. Everything at home just doesn't seem right. I love the people here, but I am not myself around them, I can't completely comprehend it all, but I know it to be true. My heart is screaming to be free, but free from what, free to go where? So simple, yet simply complicated is this season in my life that all I know to be true is in Christ. You have my love.