A Unified Theoryof Everything

Nine

2011-11-05T21:11:00.002-05:00

Nine years ago I decided to start a blog. Why? I had a lot of seemingly important things to say, a lot of time to spend writing, a lot of my friends were doing it and it was fun. There have been seasons were I kept writing when it wasn't fun; there were times when I wrote out of obligation, when I had nothing to say, I kept it going. Then I fell in love, forgot about my blog, got married, continued to forget about my blog and now here I am. These days I have very little time to write and when I do I feel like my thoughts aren't that important to share. Maybe that's the draw of Twitter.

I'm tempted just to say, "hey, we've had a good run, let's call it a day." But I can't, I just can't. It's my stubborn nature to say that I will someday resurrect this blog to the glory of its former days. Or someday I'll have kids and post cute pictures of them here. Another reason that I'm not shutting this blog down is that I believe in words. Whether it's one-hundred-and-forty characters on Twitter or run-on-paragraphs on this blog, I like words. Somehow I feel like Facebook or Google+ just don't allow for the words posted there to be read amongst the clutter of their games and ads and blah blah blah. So, for the Nth time, I'm committing to keep this blog alive, for you, for me, for my memory, for my kin.

For now I'll leave you with a life update [for the very few of you who read this and the even fewer of you who don't see me often]. I have a new job at the same law firm. I won't bore you with the details, but I push paper in their foreclosure department, it isn't great, but it's better than the warehouse. Sarah and I bought a piano last weekend. It's a beautiful instrument and fills the house with wonderful music, and it brings joy to Sarah's piano-loving heart. It prompted me to put new strings on my guitar after six or seven years of not changing them. Yikes. I ran a half-marathon and despite feeling like I was going to die, I finished it in exactly the time I expected to [2:12]. Training for it really rekindled my love for running; I'm hoping that love survives this winter. So, life is good, I love it, and maybe I'll love it enough to share it more often on this here nine-year old blog. Happy birthday blog! you have my love.

100 Days

2011-06-20T14:57:00.002-05:00

Today, Monday June twentieth, marks the occasion of Sarah and I having been married for 100 days. So, much like the work of the President of the United States does in their first 100 days is graded, I feel these first 100 days of marriage ought to be graded as well. Let's hope this exercise doesn't get me impeached.

It all started off with the wedding of the year (no offense to the four other wonderful friend-couples who were married or are getting married this year). There was joy, sunlight, smiles, tears, an almost hyperventilating groom, a RADIANT bride, beards, mustaches, Jimmy Eat World, Star Wars, feasting, dancing, mooses, car trashing/decorating, singing, toasting and kissing. It was great. It still seems a bit surreal, but I'm pretty positive all of it actually occurred.

And then there was the honeymoon. I'll spare you most of the details, but we did go to my parents' farm. Which, sounds weird, but their house is more like a loft and it sits on some a hundred and sixty acres with not a soul around for miles. Except the occasional, awkwardly met visitor (on farm business). We had a fire going (ahem, in the wood-burning stove) the entire time, and we ate wonderful food prepared and frozen by Sarah's friend Bethany, we walked in the woods, we watched movies (including all the Star Wars in one day, and nearly the entire Lord of the Rings (extended versions!) series in another day), and we lounged around a lot. It was fantastic. Really. We did so very little, and it was perfect.

And then we went home. And once we had unpacked a bit, opened our gifts, hung out with friends, we began the real life of a married couple. And, thus far, it has been everything we expected it to be. We've had some incredibly frustrating phases, we've had incredibly amazing phases and everything in between. Marriage has presented itself to be the ultimate learning experience in dying to myself. Learning to choose something for Sarah's sake and not mine, listening and not be defense, being okay with having differing opinions, doing chores so Sarah doesn't have to, and on and on and on.

I've really enjoyed these past 100 days, and I know Sarah does too. But it really lives up to what I kept saying (and Josh said during his toast): it isn't easy, but it's good. And it's fun. And hard. And hysterical, stressful, painful, emotional, joyful, full of serving and learning and humbling yourself. But above all, it's good - after all, it is a gift from God. One that I'm truly thankful for. Love you Sarah, happy 100 days anniversary*.

Also, if you read this, let me know and I'll go ahead and count this as writing your thank you note**. you have my love.

* I believe the appropriate 100 day anniversary gift is a Dairy Queen Blizzard.
** Unfortunately this is just a joke, and we still have (literally) a gazillion thank yous to write.

The men

2011-03-09T22:44:00.004-06:00

There are many things for me to be excited about as the day approaches. In just three days I get to be married to an amazing, beautiful woman and begin the rest of my life with her. But before that [not to kill the lovey dovey mood], I get to hang out with some of the best men in the world. I think I need some preface.

After I became a Christian I tended to be more prone to be friends with the females rather than the guys. Really that was the first time ever in my life that girls seemed interested in hanging out with me, and they were nice young ladies and Christians, so it made them easy to talk to and be friends with. And even for a while at Trinity I still really connected with my female friends way easier than with the guys. Somewhere in there, at some unknown point, I decided that I should hang out more with guys than the ladies - and whatever it was, it just clicked. [Steph, I think you had something to do with this]. And I became more of a guy... guy.

Since then I have had some incredible friendships with guys, dudes, bros and men. When it came time to pick just four guys to stand with me at my wedding, it really was a tough call. There were a couple guys that had to be in there, and about thirty other guys that could fill the remaining two spots. It did help that I got to choose three ushers on top of that. But really, I could have picked any number of guys to be part of the most important day of my life and had no regrets about them being there.

And in a few days when the guys I know join me, I think it will resemble various scenes from Tolkien's Middle Earth. The scenes of battles, when aligned armies gathered, though different [men, elves, dwarves, etc.] they were united in one purpose. The purpose on Saturday will be to celebrate, but if we get a chance to kill some orcs, well, I won't be disappointed. Anyway.

I could briefly list numerous memories and stories of great times with the awesome men in my life, but I think I'll just give you one. We Beardenzians have a ceremony in which we take a man who is about to be married out into the secret realm of New Beardenzia [I realize that this doesn't make sense to half of my readers - just know that we take the guy out into the woods] and we pray over him and talk about him and some of the married guys give advice. It's really great. We did this a few days ago, and as I was driving out to [undisclosed location] I realized, "wait, this time the trip is for me. They'll be praying for me." And I got real emotional - but didn't cry. It was a moment of realizing that these guys care for me. And if every male friend of mine that cared for me was given a chance to be there, they would have been, and we would have filled the forest. And while they weren't there in person, they were in my heart and my memories, continuing to push me forward, continuing to laugh and cry with me, continuing to bear my burdens as I bear theirs, continuing to be my brothers and friends. They're good men you know. Not safe though. you have my love.

Dedicated to the following [in somewhat chronological order]: Dad, Grandpa, Mike, Chad, Jason, Ben, Andrew, Zach, Darol, Seth, Mark, Brandon, Brandon, Ryan, Josh, Andrew, Adam, Brad, Ryan, Matt, Matt, Graham, Zach, Josh, Nate, Brandon, Kyle, Mark, Bob, Justin, Adam, Jeremy, Baugh, Stu, Austin, Jon, Andy, Dave, Chris, Ryan, Ryan, Josh, Kevin, Steve, Adam, Alan, Todd, Marty, John, Nate, Derek, Matt, Ryan, Tonio, Matt, Dean, Ben, Tyler, Jon, Pete, Ian, Dave, Jordan, Matt, and, I'm sure there are more... And Jesus - thanks be to Him who created us to be able to commune with each other.

The story

2011-01-31T20:34:00.005-06:00

Sometime after Sarah and I got engaged I asked her to write out the story of our engagement so that I could post it on my blog. So Sarah went to work in her typical perfectionist way and she presented me with this post the other day. Enjoy!

It was the perfect day. Mild temperatures (in the upper 90’s), high humidity with a chance of higher humidity, and I was perfectly... distracted. My very best friends had come to visit for our yearly Girls Weekend and I was being hostess to nine women sharing my little house and one bathroom. We were enjoying the short time we had together catching up, eating hummus and watching Ellen’s new baby do what new babies do. My sisters were there, my best friends from forever (aka grade school and beyond) were there, and I was in a happy little place of... well, happiness. Nearly everyone I deeply loved was there. Except for Travis. You see, as near and dear to me as Travis was, this was not a “Girls-and-Travis” Weekend. This was a Girls Weekend. No Travises allowed. And he was feeling a little left out--which was why he called to see if he could steal me away for a small slice of our Saturday afternoon. At least, this was the only logical explanation I could find in the deep recesses of my mind that would explain such a thing. Why else would he take away some of the precious few hours I had to spend with the people (who had to fly and drive from all over the country to be here, mind you) that meant more to me than anything in the world? Exactly. He seemed to be pretty persistent about it, too, so I could only assume that he was feeling extra left-out. Me being crazy-head-over-heels for this man, I was not very resistant to consenting to his request. And so I told him to come pick me up at three.

When he arrived to get me, I took his hand and ran out to his car in an excited but rushed state of mind. One of those “I’m so happy to be with you but let’s please hurry and get back so I can continue with what I was doing” states of mind. Though I was truly curious as to where we were going for only an hour (“Don’t worry, I won’t keep you more than an hour,” he had told me), I was even more distracted by the activity going on back at my house that I somehow forgot to ask him what we were even doing.

As we were driving, I mentioned to him, “You do know what today is, don’t you?” Himself being even more distracted than I was (how was that even possible?), he replied, “No, what?” “It was exactly ten months ago today that you asked me out on our first date!” I exclaimed. Travis looked at me and smiled. “Oh, really? Yeah, I guess I forgot... That’s pretty cool.” Little did I know just how cool (and coincidental) that actually would turn out to be.

We continued driving, and somewhere along the jumbled conversation we had in that short trip, Travis casually mentioned that we needed to make a quick pit-stop at the Tows’ house to drop off some things for connection group that week. I had noticed some boxes in the back seat, and though now, looking back on that day, their presence should have screamed ‘out-of-the-ordinary’, I thought absolutely nothing of them at the time. I was just happy to spend some time with my man (though a bit sad that he was taking time out of our already limited hour to get an errand run when he could do it later on in the day without me).

Now this would be the part in the story where I have to pause and explain the Tows: Who they are, how much they mean to both of us, and how they have played such a huge role in our relationship--mentoring us, letting us in on their family life, and shepherding us through an amazing connection group they hosted in their home. So bear with me.

Travis and I essentially started dating because of the Tows (Ryan and Shana, who have been extremely good friends with Travis for over five years). Last summer I had decided to “live my life instead of letting my life live me” and start dating people (for real this time). I had impossibly high standards that no one--not even Jesus himself--could have met, and as a result, had only dated one person in my twenty-seven years of living. This put me in a predicament. Fortunately, God put an article--and people--in my life that changed everything. One of the things this article mentioned was that in finding someone to date (and ultimately marry), you should always take into serious, serious consideration the recommendations of parents, more mature people from church who know you well, and close friends. For some reason I decided to live religiously according to this article, so when the Tows (along with my good friend Kaci Sloss) recommended I date this friend of theirs named Travis, I listened. Because of an interesting set of events, this didn’t happen right away, but through the months that followed, their advice was always at the back of my head.

To continue explaining the significance of the Tows (and their home) to our relationship, I must also take you back to the first time Travis and I met. It was yet another blistery summer day, and the Tows were having a “breakfast-for-supper” party with me and a few close friends. Because a pajama dress code had been set, I, being the goofy-yet-fun-loving person that I am, decided to wear my new, red, sock monkey footie pajamas. (My sister had gotten them for me for Christmas... long story.) Anyways, already feeling a bit silly, I walked in through the door (the Tows have a don’t-knock-just-come-in policy)... and there, sitting at their kitchen table, was Travis. Oh, boy. Well, I thought, he’s going to see who I really am at some point. Might as well be now. He shook my hand cordially and we went on with our breakfast preparations.

Fast forward eleven and a half months to our original hot, summer day. Real time. Travis and I, in love and equally distracted by our own individual thoughts and plans, pulled into the driveway of this house that had basically become our second home. The Tows didn’t know we were coming to drop off the boxes, and as such were going about their business doing those things that families do. Ryan was working on something in the garage, Shana was off running an errand, and the kids were playing. It was the familiar atmosphere of peaceful chaos that we had come to love about the Tow house.

But my mind was not exactly there--at all. It was impatient and wanting to quickly drop the things off so we could get on to spending time together. Travis grabbed a few heavier boxes out of the back seat and headed for the front door. I, being the efficient woman that I am, stacked all of the remaining boxes in my arms (since they were surprisingly light) and followed him into the cool, air-conditioned house. By the time we got to the kitchen I realized we had no idea where to put them, so I asked Travis. He turned around and saw for the first time that I had gotten the rest of the boxes. I missed the panicked look that crossed his eyes, but followed his direction when he immediately recovered and told me to put them on the table next to him and go ask Ryan in the garage. I did, and not more than three seconds later was back in the kitchen, telling him to just leave them there.

What I came back to confused me. Somehow, in those three seconds, a bouquet of purple daisies had appeared on the table. I looked at Travis, a quizzical expression on my face. “Who are those for?” I asked, though part of me already knew the answer since purple was my favorite color. “They’re for you,” Travis replied, looking right back at me as if his face would answer all of the other questions that had suddenly appeared in my head. What he did next just added to the confusion... He grabbed my shoulders, pulled me toward himself, and quickly kissed me! Right in front of the Tow’s kids, who had been running around playing and were now staring at us! My mind raced. What is going on? Why did you just kiss me in front of the kids? What are you doing? We have to get going--my friends are waiting for me to spend time with you and we’re wasting our time--Didn’t you leave the car running? And where are we going after this, anyways? Don’t we need to get moving? Somehow I still didn’t get it.

A half-moment later, Travis’s hands started shaking along with his voice, in a way I’ve never seen him shake before. His eyes started to glisten, and then it hit me. Oh my gosh, you’re proposing to me! WHAT?? Here, now? But what about that place in the park I always thought you would do it at? And why now? What about the build-up you’re supposed to have before this? What on earth is going on? Seriously??? He got down on one knee and grabbed my hands in his shaking ones. I had never seen him so emotional--or so nervous! He opened his mouth, and said:

“Eleven and a half months ago, in this very spot, I met you for the first time. And my life has not been the same since. We’ve gotten to know each other and have grown together, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Then he turned to a mysterious black photo box that was sitting on the table next to him and flipped open the lid.

This is where I HAVE to pause the story yet again and give you a little background (I’m so sorry, but you’ll see why in just a second!). When I was young--about 10 or 11--I had a small pile of pennies that I had accumulated, and my mom told me that I should start saving them up for the day I got married. She said that after saving them for years, I would have enough to buy my wedding dress or a wedding gift with them. And so I started saving. From then on, I collected and saved every penny I came across. If I saw a coin laying on the sidewalk, I might leave it there if it were a nickle or dime, but pennies... I always picked up pennies. They made me happy. And they all went into my penny jar for that day when I would someday get married.

Okay. Back to the Tows’ kitchen and the confusing (though becoming clearer by the second) proposal that was taking place. Travis turned to the kitchen table and flipped open the lid of the black box sitting next to him. It was filled nearly to the top... with pennies! And there, in the middle of it, was a small, velvet box. And there, inside the velvet box, catching a ray of the bright summer sun and sparkling ever so beautifully, was a ring. The ring. The ring that would soon bind me to Travis. The ring that would symbolize our love that now didn’t have to be just a lovey-dovey “you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever known” feeling, but could finally be an “I am going to be by your side through thick and thin” kind of love. The ring that would be worn for the rest of my days. And it was mine.

Travis looked at me, and, taking my hands once again in his trembling ones, said, “Sarah, I love you, and it would be my joy and honor to spend the rest of my life married to you. Will you marry me?”

For some reason, I was still confused. I’m not sure why, but I was. Everything made sense now. Everything had been revealed. But for some reason, I was still in utter shock and disbelief--not to mention completely caught off-guard. This is why my reaction ended up being a little less romantic than his proposal had been. I looked at him incredulously, jaw dropped, and cried out, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?” When he laughed and said yes, I repeated, “No, for real... are you SERIOUS?!”

Oh, well. Sometimes you can’t “plan” a reaction--no matter how hard you try.

I ran at him and threw my arms around him. I continued to exclaim and question and laugh and hug. I think somewhere in there I said yes. Travis proceeded to take the sparkly ring out of the velvet box, slip off the small gold purity ring that had been holding its place for fourteen years, and put it on my finger. At least, that’s how I like to remember what happened. What really happened was that he was still shaking so badly he almost dropped the ring and I had to help him get it on. In the end, the ring was in place and we were hugging again.

About a minute or so later, Ryan came into the kitchen, looked at us, and said, “Did that seriously just happen ten seconds ago?” When we both nodded in excitement, a huge grin broke across his face. “Congratulations, you guys!” he exclaimed, then continued, “Yeah, I came in because Maddi [the youngest, five-year-old girl] came running into the garage, found me, and shouted, ‘DAD! You’re missing the WEDDING STUFF!’ I had no idea what she was talking about so I came in to find out...” We laughed and laughed. It was probably one of the best engagement announcements that has ever been made. Ever. At least that’s my opinion.

We stayed a bit longer, taking a picture or two, receiving our first engagement gift (a picture of a heart drawn by Maddi), and lamenting the absence of Shana in our special moment. Travis had wanted this to be such a surprise, he had told NO ONE--not even the Tows! On our way home, we were going to stop by Travis’s parents’ house to surprise them, but since they were gone for the weekend, we decided to go to Dairy Queen instead. Our celebratory meal was a chocolate peanut butter cup blizzard and a strawberry lemonade chiller. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When we got home we had a few minutes alone to enjoy and finally talk about what our lives would be like once we got married. We dreamed and laughed and enjoyed the thought of getting to spend our entire futures together. All too soon, our time alone was over, and the girls came back (from--get this--going bridesmaid dress shopping! Apparently the fact that Travis had asked Kathleen for Dad’s second phone number the night before had tipped them off or something..). I ran out to meet them, and as soon as I held out my left hand, there was screaming, hugging, squealing, ring viewing, more screaming, and more hugging. Once we got inside, we told them the whole story. It had been a day of excitement, confusion, unique details, and awesome community. It was, indeed, the perfect day.

you have my love

Favorites of Aught-ten

2010-12-31T15:15:00.000-06:00

I didn't get to listen to every new album like Andrew, or see every new movie like Josh, or read many books like Monica, but I listened and saw and read some stuff that I really liked this year, so here's a brief list of my favorites of Aught-ten, in some-particular order:

Tallest Man on Earth "The Wild Hunt" - I just got this with one of my many iTunes giftcards, so it gets on the list, but low on the list. Andrew recommended it and he's a pretty tall and smart guy. So far it really is enjoyable.

Toy Story 3 - I didn't go to many movies this year, but you gotta say that TS3 was pretty great.

Belle & Sebastian "Write About Love" - I love my Scottish indie pop. I don't pay much attention to music releases anymore, but I was somewhat surprised that B&S released an album, I thought they had called it quits. But I'm glad they didn't and this album is fun and poppy and Scottish, I really do love their music.

Ender's Game complete series - I read it all. Ender's Game, Ender in Exile, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, and, finally, Children of the Mind. It was long, and somewhat good - some parts better than others. I first read Ender's Game when I was in fourth or fifth grade, and I recall reading parts of the other books in middle school, but really I didn't get it. At all. Now that I'm older I wanted to reread them all, and this time I got "it" and it made me want to experience intergalactic space travel. Shortly after finishing the series someone suggested the Ender's Shadow series, but I certainly think that a long break from Ender is in order. Maybe next summer?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part one - I like HP, and I've enjoyed the movies, but this one was really well done. It stuck with the book pretty well, and the look of the movie was great.

Inception - Yep, it's really good. I wonder if in ten years I will look back at Inception and feel the way I feel about The Matrix after ten years. I suppose that depends on if they make sequels [please no].

Mumford and Sons "Sigh No More" - A British Avett Brothers, which, is really quite awesome. I hope they stick around.

Brown ale - I realize this isn't a media item like everything else. Also, I've liked brown ales for a while, but this year I think they moved to numero uno on my favorite type of beers list.

Sufjan Stevens "All Delighted People" - I know a lot of people have "Age of Adz" on top or near the top of their albums of the year list, and I realize that it's really good, but I just don't enjoy listening to it [kind of like Tom Waits]. Maybe it will grow on me. Anyway, "All Delighted People" is great. I like the departure from his previous sound [maybe this was a transition EP to prepare us for "Age of Adz"], the rockness of it is, dare I say, delightful.

The River Why - I finally finished it. I started Why a couple of years back but got distracted and then relegated it for something else. Anyway, it's great read, as seen on a previous post.

Chuck - When I lived in the Wilson House in Ames, I lived with this guy who happened to work for Geek Squad, and he watched Chuck, but I never got into it. With Lost over and BSG finished, I "needed" another show to fill my television time [other than the standards: House, 30 Rock, Community] and Chuck stepped in quite well. I'm halfway through season two and am looking forward to Chuck's super-spyness. Honorable mention in the television category: Psych, 'cause it's quite funny.

Arcade Fire "The Suburbs" - I don't think that my first full listen to "The Suburbs" was over before I had named it my favorite album of the year. I think it's great. I think a huge part of it was that shortly before it came out I had just moved from the near-heart [liver?] of Des Moines to the very western edge of West Des Moines. Down the block is a bean field that within a few years will be more tan and beige homes, just like the one I live in. I don't mean to diss Dave's house, but Arcade Fire's story of the suburban culture is one that I'm a part of, not that I necessarily enjoy being part of it - but that's where I am, and it's where I grew up. That is to say that this I resonate with the album. So, the high quality of the album and my resonation with it easily push it to number one for the year.

I'm hoping to maybe have Wilco and Radiohead albums, a Wes Anderson or Josh Overbay films on the list next year. Get it done guys. you have my love.

The best Aught yet

2010-12-29T21:56:00.000-06:00

They said the aughts were over. Not so, I say. And I would go on to say this, "Aught-ten: best Aught yet!" Aught-ten was pretty much the best year ever [...thus far]. I mean, I've had some pretty awesome years [Aught-two, Aught-five, etc.], but this year has them beat handsdown. Handsdown! I'm sure, being avid readers, you realize why I would say that: I fell in love, kissed a girl, liked it, asked her to marry me, and started getting ready for the biggest adventure of my life so far [marriage]. So, pretty darn exciting.

Other reasons that this year was so very amazing: Beardenzia was not founded in Aught-ten, but it certainly developed a firm foundation through the deepening of my friendships with Ryan and Derek and the explorations of New Beardenzia. The weddings of Aught-ten were a ton of fun. I saw Yo La Tengo live in concert. I graduated college [again]. I've come to deeper realizations of what it means for me to be a man, and a Godly man at that - scary but important stuff. Sarah got to meet some of the 104ians. I read the entire Ender's Game series - it's really long, but I made it. I ran a couple of races; nothing like a few years back when I was really running, but it's a good start to what could be a resurgence. Some great friends had some great babies, quite a few actually.

I could go on, but honestly I'll just save myself from getting ahead of myself, because I get the feeling that Aught-eleven will be better and far more adventurous than I will ever recall Aught-ten to be. Thanks Aught-ten, you've been grand, I shall always remember you so very well. you have my love.

David James Duncan

2010-12-11T14:35:00.000-06:00

Most of my readers have probably not ever heard of one of my favorite authors, David James Duncan. Duncan has written just two novels, The River Why and, one of my alltime favorite books, The Brothers K. A few weeks ago I [finally] finished The River Why and I found myself wishing that Mr. Duncan would write more books.

His stories and characters live in the Pacific Northwest, a land I once, though briefly, lived in and did not explore quite well enough. Reading Duncan's books allow me to explore the Northwest in a way that I never would have been able to, had I stayed out there longer than I did. His stories allow the reader to see the top left corner of our nation through the lenses of family and friendship.

Quick synopses: Brothers K: A family of four brothers, two sisters, a Seventh Day Adventist mother, and a legendary minor league pitcher for a father; they all struggle in finding their place in their own family as they come to grips with their own faiths and lives in the midst of minor league baseball seasons and the Veitnam War. From one page to the next: I laughed, cried, repeat. River Why: A young prodigy of a fisher, Gus, is raised by two skilled fishers of two different schools [fly casting and "plunking"], Gus chooses to live life as a fishing hermit on the coast of Oregon. He follows after the understanding of life through fishing, obsession, death, the wild, philosophy and, yes, love.

And that's it. He has some other short stories and essays, but of his novels that punch me in the stomach with humor and meaning and wonder, that's it. Maybe he's at home wondering why I haven't written any novels. Perhaps someday I'll hear that he's written another novel and I'll rejoice. Until then I'll take what I can get and enjoy these two beautiful stories - Mr. Duncan, thanks for writing them. you have my love.

Planning v. Preparing

2010-11-16T18:45:00.000-06:00

In about sixteen weeks Sarah and I will be getting married. I'd give you the details of when and where, but we don't entirely have that pinned down yet. I'm not sure when you have to have all that stuff in order, but I think we're approaching it. So, we're planning a wedding, though a bit slowly. When we first got engaged we had a bit of time to ourselves before the onslaught of phone calls and squealing women and we talked about planning a wedding. We both agreed that in the seven or so months of being engaged, it was far more important to prepare to be married than to plan the perfect wedding.

And so we plan the wedding, finding a sanctuary and looking for a reception hall and caterer and all the sort. And we try to prepare for marriage, which is a different beast altogether. For Sarah it means that she meets with some ladies from our church and talks about our relationship and the challenges and treasures ahead on the horizon. For me it means meeting with my friend and accountability partner, Ryan, getting truth nuggets on marriage. And I go to a pre-dawn men's group on Thursdays and learn how dying to myself can actually help me live a life that is more truly life. And we read books and talk and cuddle and talk to other couples and so on.

And we do these things both realizing that nothing we do will ever truly prepare us for what is ahead. Merging lives as fully as we're preparing to do, is such an intense, holy and wholly concept that the only things we can really do is pray, brace ourselves, prepare to die to our own ambitions, and enjoy it. We might not have a color scheme but at least we're headed in the right direction. you have my love.

Bonus outtake: We don't have a theme [though I have suggested that our wedding theme be: "wedding"; for some reason Sarah doesn't think it's as awesome as I do], but then again, the only wedding I've been to with a theme was "cowboy Cinderella" which held a ton of promise, but failed to deliver the goods.

Words, a lack thereof

2010-11-14T15:19:00.003-06:00

I counted. In oh-seven I had over fifty blog posts, in oh-eight there were forty-two, twenty-five last year and just twelve so far this year. I used to post twelve times in one month [though, I am okay with not posting that often these days]. And it's strange, because now, as opposed to then, there is far more going on in my life. I suppose that cuts both ways though; I have more to write about, and less time to write about it. And to be honest, I miss writing. Perhaps my blogiversary stirred my heart, or maybe it's the colder weather moving in, but I find myself wishing to be seated in front of the computer, either writing fiction or the tales of my life on this blog.

As I've seen over the past nine years, this is normal. People start blogs, write a lot, then less, and then they get eaten by the cyberwolves. That's what happens to abandoned blogs, right? Of the folks that started blogging around when I did, very few remain [Stefiny and Vee are all I can think of]. And that's totally cool for them, but for me, there is still this innate desire to write, even if it's a post of disjointed, random thoughts.

So, now what? I like to make these promises that I have blog ideas and will fill up this site with posts. But, I'm not going to make that promise. I'll certainly keep on writing, but I can't say how often that will be. But then again, perhaps this is a turning point, perhaps Sarah and I will find something really cool to blog about, who knows. Thanks for reading these words of mine. you have my love.

Some questions: Who still reads this blog? Do you go to the site, or use a RSS feed [like Google Reader, or as I like to call it "GoogRead"]? How do you find time to write?

Nine years gone...

2010-11-07T16:12:00.000-06:00

Thus begins my tenth year of blogging; so say we all. Pants. Group runs. Hoodies. Fires. The wind blowing through my beard, the coolness settling on my cheeks. Agendas. Pleasant surprises. Egg nog. Raking and raking and raking. Finishing a four book series. Picking up a half-read book that you can't understand why you put it down. Cold pizza. Ticket to Ride [Europe] and Carcassonne. Southern Comfort. Building shelves. Turning on the warehouse furnace. Getting married in nearly four months. Cinnamon rolls. A resurgence of Battlestar Galactica. Fake field goals that almost work. Waffles. Thanksgiving in just a couple of weeks. The continued learning of what it means to be a man following God and to truly live by dying to myself. Actually finding theology and non-fiction interesting again. Sleeping in a warm bed. Hoping for snow. The farm. Writing again. Knowing that everything will be alright.

Her!

2010-11-04T23:26:00.000-05:00

I was sitting at a friend's dinner table when I first saw her. Sarah walked through the door and I could tell right away that... she was wearing sock monkey footy pajamas. Our story starts well before actually meeting, but that was when I first saw her. Our story starts with my blog post "Her?" six months before. My friend Kaci suggested that I go on a date with her friend Sarah. Due to what we now agree as fortunate delays we didn't go on that first date until last October. But that first moment when my eyes saw her clad in her footy pajamas, I did know that she had a great sense of humor. However, I had no idea that eleven months later I, on bended knee in the exact spot that I first saw her, would be asking her to be my wife.

Rewind to last October, the fourteenth to be precise. I sucked up the courage to stop by her house and ask her out on our first date. We started with hesitance, both wondering whether this was a relationship that we should pursue. By December, we were falling hard. In the spring we struggled to understand how to relate to each other in our spiritual lives. I'm not sure when, though she keeps asking me for the exact moment, but by early summer I was sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

I really like our story, mostly because it isn't perfect. We had to work through a lot of stuff, and we continue to work through our own messy lives as we seek to intertwine them. We came with our own baggage, with our own misunderstandings of how relationships worked, and without knowing, really, how to love someone in terms of dying to ourselves. We both came into the relationship with the expectation that it would require work, and we have the friends and family surrounding us to lend us wisdom, guidance, and sometimes a little smack upside the head. We have a great Church body to lead us. And we have a good god, who is with us in the struggles and the joys that we go through. As I have often said to Sarah in midst of a tough conversation: it won't be easy, but it will be good. Sarah, you have my love.

Catching up

2010-09-15T22:55:00.000-05:00

Whoops. Sorry about that, I guess I forgot about the creative output known as my blog. Without further adieu, I will now catch up on the past three months.

I did the whole internship thing. I walked cardiopulmonary patients up and down the halls of seven-south. It was quite the experience, and I really got to a point of enjoying it. But it didn't turn into a job. Anyhow, it did allow me to graduate from Iowa State with a degree in Kinesiology. So I have that going for me.

Sarah was gone for a while; she went to South Korea to visit her parents for the first half of July. It was a tough time, but Skype but helped it not seem that long. And she loved spending the time with her parents and her good friend Bethany.

I turned twenty-nine. I would say that I'm old, but I have some pretty good friends that have ages with bigger numbers than that. Next year I may speak differently.

I went back to work for the law firm, and despite my ten-week internship absence the warehouse did not burn down. Bummer.

And, the big news. I asked Sarah to be my wife and she said yes. So we're gonna get married. In March. There will be a lot more about the asking and the planning and all that is beyond that, but for now I'll leave it at this: we're excited to be married.

And now we're caught up. I think that my life has somewhat evened out I think [hope] that I'll be writing more often. I have a notebook full of blog ideas, so all I need is the time to write them out. you have my love.

How I will be cheering during the World Cup

2010-06-09T23:42:00.000-05:00

The World Cup is approximately thirty-three hours away, and that makes me really quite excited. Since the rest of the world calls it "football," I will, in this post and for the next few weeks refer to it as "football" as well. With thirty-two teams vying for the title of the world's best footballing nation, I have decided that I will pre-align my allegiances before play begins. Once my team gets knocked out, I'll have to have someone to cheer for, and it's always fun to have other teams to cheer for or against in the other groups and on the other side of the bracket. This post has been, in part, shaped by what I read at the World Cup Blog, which has waaaaay too many great articles. Seriously, if you RSS it, you will have a lot of posts to read. And if you are figuring out who to cheer for, this post is a solid resource, as is this one. Ok, down to brass tack, how I will be cheering during the World Cup:

For
The United States - I'm not a nationalistic person at all, but during world sporting events, I do enjoy seeing the States do well. And, if you know the history of US football, we haven't been terribly successful in the past, oh, ever, but we're supposedly we're getting better. At least that's what people have been saying for the past several decades. Regardless, I like our team, and we have a good group draw, it looks promising that we'll get into the round of sixteen, and from there, well, it will be tough. But I think we have what it takes to go far, and that's what I'll be cheering for.

The Netherlands - In my reading I would say that the Oranje are one of the four most favorited teams in this year's World Cup. One of their strikers is an Arsenal man, Robin van Persie [RvP]. They have great jerseys [called a "kit"]. And I would love to see them win the Cup over some of the teams that are in the next two sections.

England - Aside from the match this Saturday, I do want to see the Three Lions do really well. Football is an English game, and some of the most beautiful football is played in England these days, so it would be great to see them take the Cup home. All that being said, I hope the US kicks the crap out of them on Saturday. Sorry, Ush.

Germany - It's no secret that I love the nation of Germany. I have a heart for German people, their mountains and their beer [speaking of which...]. I don't care much for their style of play, but it's effective. I'd say that the Germans, the English and the Dutch are in high contention for third place so it will be fun to see how they do.

Cameroon - The Cup being in Africa, you really have to hope that an African team kicks a little ass and makes it in the round of sixteen, Cameroon could definitely do that. One of my favorite Gunners, Alex Song, is on the squad and could wreck havoc in their opponents midfield. They have a tough group, so their hope is to take it to Japan and Denmark, and hope not to get killed by the Netherlands. One more reason to cheer them on, their nickname: the Indomitable Lions.

Somewhat for
Brazil - The Brazilians are, historically and unarguably, the best football team in the world. Which is why I will only be "kind of" cheering for them. I kind of want to see a team that isn't Brazil, Italy, France or Germany win the Cup. But it's hard not to cheer for a team that plays such beautiful football.

Spain - I have Spain beating Brazil in the final. If my teams can't make it the final, I would love love love to see a Spain-Brazil final. Pretty easily the best two teams in the world these days and both play an incredibly beautiful game. Also, Cesc Fabergas of Arsenal and NOT of [swearword] Barca, plays for Spain.

Argentina - Similar to the previous two teams. Argentina is an amazing team to watch. They currently have the best player in the world in Lionel Messi, who is an incredible striker and is WAY cooler than Cristiano Ronaldo. But they also have an incredibly odd and famous coach in Diego Maradona, who has, as a player, provided some of the greatest moments in World Cup history. But he's also kind of a loudmouthed jerk, so...

South Africa - You gotta cheer for the home team. I mean, they really don't stand a chance, but it would be great to see them pull an Invictus. Plus Nelson Mandela is really cool.

Japan - I like Japan, and of the Asian teams they are who I would prefer to go furtherest. They have a tough group in the Netherlands, Denmark and Cameroon, but they could pull it off. Bonus: sushi, and I love sushi.

Against
France - I liked France in the last Cup, but I don't think I'll be pulling for them this time 'round. Though they have four Gunners [Gallas, Clichy, Sagna, Diaby] and one Arsenal legend [Henry], I still have a bitter taste for them. First: Zidane's headbutt from oh-six. Second: Ribery is, well, scandalous. Third: their coach is weird. Lastly, most importantly: they shouldn't be in it. If you don't know - Henry's obvious-double-handball assist put them in and Ireland out.

Italy - Similar argument that I made against Brazil, except Brazil plays a lot better football and doesn't fall on the ground as much.

Mexico - Me cheering against Mexico says nothing about my thoughts on immigration reform, but is all about them being the United States' biggest rivals. I would love to see them, somehow, playing the US in the knockout rounds and us destroying them. The US beating Mexico in football is a wonderful feeling.

Portugal - I love Portugal. One of my bestest friends is from Porto and I would love to see them do well. All this is cast away with the ego and hairdo of one man: Cristiano Ronaldo. An amazing player, but a total.. well, you get what I mean. This will give you an idea of what I mean.

North Korea - I really have nothing against North Koreans per se, but their dictator is crazy and his ways are destructive and the people probably don't even realize it. My feelings toward North Korea really deserve a full blog post, so maybe someday. Why include them here? Well, I needed five teams under each category and the country's leaders frequently threaten the US and its allies. Plus, it will most likely be reported that the team won the World Cup, despite being absolutely crushed in the group round. Maybe the North Korean players will have a chance to defect during the Cup. That will be the only thing I'm cheering for in regards to North Korea.

And there are seventeen other teams. Congrats to you if you made it this far in my blog. Further congrats if you went to more than three of the links. My predictions are: Spain over Brazil in the final, and England over Germany for third. Best games other than the final: England v. France and the Netherlands v. Brazil in the quarters. And even if everything I said is wrong and Uruguay beats New Zealand in the final, it will still be an amazing month of football. Goooooooool!!! you have my love.

The end of academia

2010-06-02T21:48:00.003-05:00

Not quite. That is to say that I'm almost done with Higher Education v.3.3, but not quite. Close. I'm in week four of ten of my internship, the internship that will close out yet another chapter of my time in academia. And it is quite possibly the last chapter. I have to say "quite possibly" because I don't know what the future holds for me. What I can say is that I'm ready to enter into the workforce and stay there for a long while, I am hoping that the workforce reciprocates.

What can I say about the past, uh, eleven years* of academic endeavor? It's had its fair share of peaks and troughs for sure, and I've mostly enjoyed it. I learned to really like learning, something which would have been nice in about ninth grade. I re-fell in love with reading. I learned all sorts of cool stuff. My learnings lead me to Chicago, Boston, Portland, Ames and lots of places in between. And I met some of the greatest people in the world through those travelings.

When I left Portland, I had all the intention in the world to not go back to school. But when I struggled to get adequate work back here in Iowa, I thought going back to Iowa State would be a way to begin anew and find a solid career track in the health field. And now I find myself nervously toeing the line for my next job search. Honestly, I'm not confident that I'll make it into the health field, which sucks. But at this point the only thing I'm looking for, sadly, is a paycheck. Goodbye workplace contentment, hello rent money. So it goes.

Academia, you were good to me. You tested me and found me to be true but insecure in my path. Thank you for bringing me to where I am today, but I think I can make it not-so-much-on-my-own from here. you have my love.

* 17 full time semesters [6 at ISU, 2 at DMACC, 2 at Multnomah Seminary, 7 at Trinity], 1 part time semester [DMACC], 5 summer "semesters" [Boston, Valley Church, 3 at ISU]

Manliness, part three: Beardenzia

2010-05-05T14:45:00.002-05:00

It started, as all the great quasi-imaginary nations do, with a game of Risk. Ryan and I had our backs against the wall; Sarah was asleep and Kaci controlled Australia [the key to the game] and was sweeping across Asia. Ryan and I looked at each other, seeing only each other's beard, we knew that there must be an alliance. And so the newly formed alliance of the Beardenzian Kingdom defeated the not-so-evil Kacian Empire. We talked about Beardenzia more and more, until it annoyed the womenfolk greatly, and then we talked it about it more. We developed Beardenzian mythology and proclaimed ourselves the long-lost descendants of the Beardenzian exiles.

It was/is humorous, yes, but looking back the founding of Beardenzia signaled the beginning of a good friendship and the founding of a new group of men. It isn't that Ryan and I weren't friends at that point, but we were just becoming closer, and the not-so-inside joke of Beardenzia was important for two reasons: one, it gave us something to invest in and laugh at, and two, Beardenzia itself is symbolic of the journey that he and I are on, somewhat* together.

We meet now, on a semi-regular basis, the "heads" of the clans of Beardenzia**. We joke about our mythological ancestors, but we also discuss how we can be more responsible in our own lives, how we can be better leaders in our relationships and how we can encourage such behavior in the men around us. We aren't always the best at encouraging the men around us, but we work on it. We try to humble ourselves before God, admitting that we don't always know best, even if we sometimes act like it. In this way, as a community, we pursue God and manliness.

In my life I have been part of numerous awesome groups of guys. I don't want to dismiss the men of Beardenzia as merely the latest group, because they do truly bless my life, but that doesn't mean they're any greater than all that have come before. As those groups have helped bring me to where I am now. And they may very well not be the last group of guys with such a huge influence in my life. What I great life I have, seriously. Oh, and we founded New Beardenzia - an actual real life place, but that, of course, is another story altogether. And it's top secret. you have my love.

Coming up - The end of academia?; World Cup love/hate; A personal history of interning.

* The journeys aren't exactly the same, but that doesn't mean we can't walk together along our own paths.
** My official title is: Travis, son of David, son of William, of the Red Beard Clan.

Manliness, part two: The man's man

2010-04-22T16:40:00.006-05:00

There is a little known story that put in motion what is now known as the 104 family. There were a few guys, who I knew but didn't really hang out with. We were in the same classes, but it took a trip to Saranac, Michigan to help us to get to know each other. And then the Man's Man Tourney began, and it was golden* from then on.

I was not there when it began, but this is what Gustine says happened: "The man's man tourney was born out of a conversations RyJo and I were having in my room one time, who is the man... The debate grew and grew until we decided it should take on more serious form.." It didn't take long until a group of guys were meeting every few nights to vote on what became known as the Man's Man Tourney. At first it was a tournament of 64 men, a la the NCAA Tourney - March Madness if you will. However, it was quickly decided that one group of 64 was too small to determine the true man's man.

Eight categories were determined, with each category containing 64 men who lived in the 20th century. Each bracket's contestants were determined and seeded, then voted upon round by round. Many of the votes were preceded by debate and speeches were given to sway votes towards "their" man. The voting criteria was as follows: a] who was more "manly" and b] who you would want to hang out with more. The process lasted several weeks, with the final night being a battle royale between the eight finalists:

Sports: Jesse Owens
Sports: Michael Jordan
Comedian: Chris Farley
Actor: Sean Connery
Music [secular**]: Elvis
Music [Christian**]: Keith Greene
World leaders: C.S. Lewis
Fictional characters***: Indiana Jones, PhD.

The championship came down to C.S. versus Indy, with a divided and stubborn crowd on either side. And, by one vote as I recall, the prestigious honor of being the man's man went to Dr. Jones.

Subsequently it has been discussed that there ought to be honorary additions to the finalists, including but not limited to: Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Johnny Cash. These three men, had we really thought about it, would probably have certainly been among the true contenders for the coveted man's man mantle.

As per part one of the Manliness series, when I began to think of all the manly things in my life, the Man's Man Tourney reappeared into my thoughts. I emailed and talked with some of the guys who were there about it and it was deemed that there ought be a new tourney, one for this past decade, the Aughts. And so we have begun compiling lists of men that we think should be recognized and are worthy to do honorable battle-voting against each other for the title of man's man of the decade. So far we have a most interesting field, including: Usain Bolt, Donald Miller, Jeff Tweedy, Michael Scott, Stanley Hauerwas, Banksy, Sufjan Stevens, Cormac McCarthy, Desmond Tutu, Michael Bluth, and many, many more. We actually have a bit of organizing to do before voting begins, but I suppose we'll eventually get there and I will keep my small but faithful readership updated with finalists and so on.

As I was writing this, it did occur to me to think about what these tourney say about our former and current thoughts on manhood. And, because we take this somewhat lightly, I'm not sure it says much. We have the understanding that, yes, Indiana Jones is manly because he is a world traveler, that he gets the girl, that he punches/shoots the bad guy, that he's a professor, etc. But we also realize that those are not the qualities that truly make a man manly, they are the images that our world accepts as manly and we enjoy watching them on the big screen. But we know that being a man is being the Indiana Jones of everyday life - pursuing God, being responsible, being leaders in our varying communities, and so forth. That's being a man.

One other note, as Andrew put it bluntly and correctly: the first tourney was clearly done by a bunch of white, suburban, evangelicals, i.e. there wasn't much diversity. As we have grown out of our shells and explored the world a bit, we have realized that our vision of manhood is growing beyond that of which we had in our homes growing up, and now being developed by our own studies and communities. And that's a good thing. you have my love.

Coming up - Manliness, part three: Beardenzia; The end of academia.

* And by "golden" I mean, really fun, except for the times when we [me] were jerks to each other. It happens, we forgave each other and it is now really golden*.
** We still believed in a separation "secular" and "Christian" music.
*** This bracket of fictional characters included one "region" [16 men] from The Simpsons, as I recall, Ralph Wiggam was the cinderella of that region, making it deep into the bracket.

The Champ...

Manliness, part one: It's a process

2010-04-20T13:49:00.005-05:00

I'm becoming a man. No, it isn't second puberty [akin to second breakfast]. I'm coming to understand what it means to be a man. I had the thought the other day that it is proof that my relationship with Sarah is all about being in God's timing. God waited until I was in a place in which I could pursue what it means to be a man before I could enter into a truly significant relationship. Good call God, good call. We could have met a year ago as a result of my "Her? campaign", but we didn't. Both of us agree that we wouldn't have worked out if we had met then. But this is a different season of my life, it really is.

It isn't that I haven't been surrounded by awesome guys who were pursuing God over the past decade. Or I that I don't have the most manly dad that I know [we just put up the mountain lion mount in the hallway a couple weeks ago]. It's that I didn't really care. I was happy to not have any real responsibilities. When I moved back to Des Moines last summer, that was where I began to realize that I needed to have responsibilities, and if I didn't have any, I needed to make some. I became involved at Westwind and I decided that I needed to make some relationships that encouraged me towards being more of an adult. I quickly found a community that was pointed in that same direction. And then Sarah and I started dating and dating someone is a surefire way to find out how responsible you can [or can't] be.

That took care of the responsibility part, now for the manliness of it. Sarah and I both agree in some form of spiritual leadership by the man in the relationship. But neither of us really knew how that looks [and now, entirely know - it appears to be some sort of process]. And then I became surrounded by all things manly. I became really good friends with Ryan Kennedy, who was pursuing the same things in his life, his now fiance Kaci was who set the ball in motion for Sarah and I. So I get together with him at least once a week and talk about life and leading and beards [wait for "Manliness, part three"]. And some of the guys at Westwind decided to start a men's group, which meets at 6:15 in the AM. It's pointing us in the direction of authentic manhood, which pretty much means - take responsibility without being a jerk about it, in fact it's more than just not being a jerk about it, but being Godly [pursuing God] and good whilest taking on said responsibility. And we found that we weren't alone in our quest, we found a host of other young men looking to figure this out too.

Then I didn't listen to Sarah when she wanted me to do something that had to do with being a spiritual leader in our relationship, and we almost broke up. It scared me. I really, really like her and so I didn't want to mess that up. But I also wanted to be a man, and so I changed. What it took was some dying to myself and a change in how we communicate, in how I encourage her, how we talk about spiritual things. It was really rough, but it's so good that we both stepped back and realized that things had to change. I'm sure that this won't be the first time that we have that sort of period in our relationship, I just hope that it won't be as rough as the first.

It's a good season in my life, and I am both enjoying it and looking forward to what is to come. Pursuing this thing called manliness, it isn't easy, and I realize that it is completely different for different guys - but it really is good. And it comes with a free beard, not really though. you have my love.

Coming up - part two: Man's man; part three: Beardenzia.

A saddled lion running through the thicket

2010-02-15T17:20:00.003-06:00

When I started writing this Wilco [You and I] came on the radio, so it'll be a good post, right? Wrong, random-wrong. I'm rereading My Name is Asher Lev, and it still makes me want to be a little Jewish. Oh crap, Neil Young [Winterlong - live!] just came on the radio, seriously this is the best station ever. Ever. A couple of nights ago I played my first game of Risk ever and won. I was playing Kaci and Ryan [Sarah too, but she had fallen asleep by this point]. Kaci was dominating, so Ryan and I formed an alliance of sorts and I put the final nail in the coffin. It was then determined that the name of our empire is [was] Beardanzia. For the past few days we have been inventing a history of our beloved homeland, perhaps it will see the light of day. LOST is great, even though I have no idea of how it's all going to turn out. Pancake Day is tomorrow, and I'm not really prepared at all. It will be glorious all the same. I think I might give up Facebook for Lent, not sure though. A year ago I wrote the infamous "Her?" post. One of the pledges [via Kaci] ended up being Sarah, so I guess I'll call that a successful campaign. And it was a little weird having a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. For those of you who knew me at Trinity, you will be happy/angry to know that I did not wear my traditional VDay black t-shirt. My EHBS constitutes of old, prepare your hearts. I'm really tired of driving in the snow. If I could do any three events in the Winter Olympics, in order of awesomeness: Biathlon, Skeleton, and Curling. Perhaps Beard Growing could be an Winter Olympic event. I had a dream that the snow had melted and that the grass was green, it was amazing. I'm pretty excited for that dream to come true. I'm glad we can laugh about this. I am hoping that the 104 Family can reunite this summer, even if there isn't an "official" reason for getting together, i.e. a wedding. I started thinking about seeing them the other day and I got a little teary-eyed at the thought. It would be more than good to see them, and surely as unsafe as possible. What a difference a year makes. you have my love.

Why I love LOST

2010-02-01T10:43:00.004-06:00

I've been watching LOST since the second season, and I am a full-fledged fan. I think that's pretty clear, seeing as I named it my favorite media item of the previous decade. So, why do I love it? I mean, I could leave it at "because it's awesome," because it is, but I'll give you more than that. I'll give you the ol' Three-Point-Gates edition.

Mystery
I love the mystery that LOST provides. It is beyond most standard mysteries of television, an example being in 24, "who is the traitor?" The mysteries of LOST incorporate mythology of the established world (Egyptian deities) and the created world of LOST (Hanso Foundation). There are clues throughout the episodes (anagrams, books that the characters are reading, etc.). There are dialogues between characters that could very well be hypothetical conversations between the producers and the fans (e.g. Miles and Hurley in Some Like it Hoth). There are questions upon questions, and subtle answers and pronounced answers. And the theories, the theories! Anyone who has ever seen the show has at least one theory. And you can talk and talk about these theories and know that they might mean absolutely nothing by the end of the next episode. Whatever you think about how season 5 ended, it may very well be unraveled by the end of tomorrow night's episode. And I love that. I don't want the expected in my narrative, I want something that blows my mind - and trust me, LOST blows my mind on a repeated basis.

Redemption
One of the major components of the LOST narrative is the redemption of its characters. The characters are not static, and as they were introduced to us they were full of shortcomings, to say the least, and had pasts full of failures (though not always their fault). And through the seasons we have seen a lot of change in the characters. Most of them have had to hit the lowest points of their lives to reemerge as redeemed (from a theological prospective, this is not the redemption found in Christ). And we see that redemption isn't perfect, that characters like Jack are still working towards overcoming their personal failings. I think there is a lot to be said about LOST and redemption, and maybe someday I'll be able to articulate it in full.

Community
I first started watching LOST when I was living in Portland. If I recall, Jonathan Cole came over to Manlantis to watch the Season two premiere because we had better reception and I thought, "this is an interesting show, why didn't I watch it before?" From then I joined the watching party in Aldrich with Jonathan (though the reception battle was constant). I didn't know any of the guys there at first, but made some friends. From that very beginning watching LOST was a social experience for me. I've watched LOST with various groups of people: the Tows (just the three of us), the Barkers, the Saldanhas, Wilson House, Krevin, Jennifer, and the Tows and gang. This season LOST will broadcast on Tuesday nights, the same night as our Connection Group with the Tows; how very convenient. It will be great to watch and theorize and "gasp" and wonder and laugh with them for one last season.

Watching LOST with people has always been one of my favorite parts of LOST. It's a show that begs to be watched with people, it's a show that is enjoyed so much more when you talk about it and marvel aloud at what on earth is going on in the show. And when it's all over sometime in June, I will miss the show and I will miss watching it with my friends. I'm really glad that my friendships never get canceled or have finales. If they did, I might just go ahead and move to the island. you have my love.

Decades of decades and Two-Aught-Ten

2010-01-28T11:43:00.011-06:00

Yes, this is a belated decade recap post, a year-in-review AND a year-in-preview - all in one! Though it's belated, that doesn't mean that I spent a lot of time working on it. I just am slacking and wanted to write this before I write about LOST before the season premiere. Go!

The Aughts

Start it off with the season of Jason Bowden, when we were both at DMACC, we went to Mexico together and we generally became really good friends. Then it was the school year of 908C. This was my first room at Trinity, with roommate-extraordinaire Josh "Nibbles" Smith. There was a lot of Tony Hawk, SLC Punk, watching Todd dance, throwing stuff off the balcony and other hijinks. The summer of Aught-One was spent in Boston, interning with the Boston Project. It was a summer of learning that I hated short-term ministry, falling in love with the Red Sox, learning to live in the heat of the inner-city, mowing a lot of lawns and generally figuring out what Micah 6:8 means.

Thus began the glorious stretch of time that is known as 104. The first year of 104 was full of drama and passion and yelling and love and singing and dancing. Actually, both years of 104 were that way. And they are probably the greatest two years of my existence thus far. Pretty amazing really. Mostly it was about learning to live in community, about the giving (or not-giving, unfortunately) of grace. Even though things are great in my life right now, I will always miss those years. In between the two years I went to Europe and traversed throughout Germany, Italy, Switzerland and France. I still dream of Garmisch, so beautiful. The summer after the second year of 104, I interned at Valley Church, meeting Lynette and the intern turkey, I got to know Brandon and Jennifer, and, of course, I built some shelves. Even though I wasn't living in 104 that last semester at Trinity, I still consider it within the confines of the 104 era. Think of it as a spin-off.

Then was the not-as-bleak-as-it-seemed time of moving back home. I was miserable at the time, but now I realize that it wasn't that bad. Even though I felt lonely - missing 104, I was surrounded by great folks: JBo was back in my life, I met Katie and it really was then that Overbay and I became such great friends (via the ol' free nights and weekends). Eventually I found a place in student ministries with Brandon, and that's really when things seemed to get better. And those, to me, were the glory years of VCSM: Lynette writing skits, laughing with JBo, Ryan Tow, and Brandon in the back, Tim Ryder being awesome, watching movies with Lynette afterwards. It was about this time that I met the future Meister Sanchez, and he and Lynette then convinced me to move to Portland.

When I moved to Portland, in the summer of Aught-Five (almost five years ago?? Wow), I really didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to do something, and studying theology seemed like a good idea (it was). Like most eras in my life, I didn't fully appreciate it until afterwards. It was such a great experience of living with Mr. Tucker, falling in love with Wilco, not really having a winter, enjoying all that is Portland, and living in a near-adoptive state with the Sanchezes. It really was a good year, but for various reasons I moved back to Des Moines, and slowly fell back into being miserable. I was, in my heart, without a church, but I did have a community from Valley in the Barker Thursday nights. That's when Jennifer and I became good friends and I really got to know Brandon. Which was really the highlight of those ten months or so.

Vocationally, I needed something more, so I decided to return to my first choice of colleges - Iowa State. And so I moved to the Wilson House and lived amongst the beautiful chaos that reigns there. I got to be part of a several great groups of people (CG, the Larson study, Wilson residents) and for a couple of years I got to live with relatively little responsibility. It was good and not good at the same time. Towards the end I realized that to live the life that I wanted I needed some responsibility in my life, which prompted me to move back (again) to Des Moines. And with that move I embraced a new group of people at Westwind. Honestly, it was a great way to end a great decade. It signified a number of new beginnings, beginnings that hint at a less-transient life than this past decade. My hope for the next decade is to establish for myself a home. I think, at this point looking forward, that it's a real possibility in the Aught-Tens.

Year-in-review

I'll be brief since I just put you through all that. Last year at this time I was growing unsettled with my time at the Wilson house. I loved living with those guys, and I loved not having any real responsibility. And that, as I have come to realize, is why it became necessary for me to move. But those last eight months were great. The place was cleaner with JJ living there. There was the basement skatepark and watching "Yeah Right" repeatedly. And the embracing of Main Streeet, with 212 and the Grove Cafe. I still miss those days sometimes.

The opportunity came up to move to Des Moines and live with Jake and Kelly, and I took it. In moving it meant that I needed a new community around me, and I found that at the Tow home. It began with being a movie night and it morphed into a connection group. Laughter abounds in this group, but it isn't without great depth of study and friendship. I have developed quite a number of solid friendships in the short time I've been part of the group. And yes, there's the girl part of it too. I met Sarah that first night I was over for a movie. And now five months later, we're dating somewhat seriously (whatever that means). That in itself is a whole series of blog posts - in short: it's good, not easy, but a lot of fun. It has been a year of change, a year that hopefully will establish a firm foundation for this next decade and I will recall it fondly.

Year-in-preview

I was thinking about this the other week after reading this post from Donald Miller. What do I want for this year? How to sort all these wants? By body parts, of course:

Brain: I want to read at least a couple of theology books.
Eyes: I want to read at least twelve books.
Mouth: I want to cook more often - and thus eat more of my own creations. Really, to eat better in general.
Face: I want an even better beard - which is tough, because I have an awesome beard usually.
Neck: I want to be okay with wearing scarves more often.
Heart: I want to... well, I wouldn't mind setting a course with Sarah - but, you know, "a man plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps." So, we'll just leave that in vagueness.
Spleen: I want to.. wait, what?
Liver: I want to learn more about the origins and types of beer and Scotch - in a responsible manner, of course.
Hands: I want to continue to serve in some capacity at Westwind, and stretch myself in finding more ways to serve.
Tummy: I want to maintain a weight of 160.
Legs: I want to run two half-marathons (Dam-to-Dam and DSM), some 5k's and the Living History 7 miler. And this will help with the weight of 160.
Feet: I want to travel to new places. There are possibilities in the air of going to a few new places (including new countries and continents), but I'll keep those under wraps for now.
Soul: I want to learn how to better honor this great Triune God that has so blessed my life. Not a "measurable" goal by any means, but good nonetheless.

I feel that this post is both obligatory and goodness, but I'm not sure how I feel about that combination. Regardless, now I can move on to more (or less) important things. you have my love.

Favorites of the Aughts

2010-01-01T17:45:00.000-06:00

This is not a "Best Of" list, I think such lists are incredibly subjective and usually wrong. This is a very subjective list, it is based on my personal connection to the item. This is not merely a "Favorite Albums" or "Favorite Films" of the decade, this puts it all my favorite media mediums together. This list is not perfect; I mean, can I really compare the television show 30 Rock to Over the Rhine's Ohio album? It's not an easy task, so the rankings are close, but not perfect. This list is not complete; it's been a long ten years, and surely I've forgotten some things, which is why you should add your thoughts to it. Enjoy!

75) NCAA Football 2004 - From when we played this in Flanny and Britcher's room to when I started a dynasty mode in Portland, this has been really fun to play.

74) My Morning Jacket, Evil Urges - One of my favorite albums of last summer.

73) Arcade Fire, Funeral - I know that this (and Neon Bible) are great albums, but I didn't really get into them until this past year, and they're still growing on me.

72) Iron Man - What a fun film, I didn't expect half of what I got out of it. Looking forward to RDJ to continue lighting up the screen as Iron Man.

71) Almost Famous - This is one of those films that I always enjoy watching but haven't seen very often.

70) Zwan, Zwan - A fun summer album, it reminds me of sharing a cubicle with Lynette.

69) Bon Iver, For Emma, Forever Ago - This album will grow on me, it's great, but for now it stays towards the back of the list.

68) The Envy Corps, Dwell - The best band from Iowa? Yeah. I love seeing them live, they're fun. Last saw them play at an Apple Store. I hope they keep making music.

67) The National, Alligator - This and Boxer sort of run together for me, but the last track "Mr. November" makes this the album to pick.

66) The Avett Brothers, I + Love + You - This album may really grow on me, but since it just came out I have to give it time. But seriously, it's great.

65) White Stripes, Elephant - Some of my favorite White Stripes songs are on this album, "Ball and Biscuit" is great.

64) District 9 - I will have to see this film again, but I really liked it when I saw it in the theater. I do have a friend who says that he considers it one of the best films of the year.

63) No Country for Old Men - So dark, yet beautiful. I wish it had more hope in the resolve, but what can you say? It had to end like that.

62) The Incredibles - Pixar continually puts out great movies, I'd say that Monster's Inc. is also close to being on this list.

61) Beck, Sea Change - The perfection of "sad bastard music"? Perhaps.

60) Katamari Damacy - This game reminds me of Jon and Lynette. And laughing.

59) Ministry of Magic, Goodbye Privet Drive - I hated this album when it was being produced in the room across from mine, but now it's hard for me to listen to it without putting it on repeat. Catchy, great sound and I do like me some Harry Potter.

58) The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - A solid film: great acting, great cast, great soundtrack.

57) Crash - I remember the feeling of being slapped in the face after watching Crash.

56) The Departed - Another dark and great film. Great cast too, Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg? Win.

55) World War Z by Max Brooks - This was a fun read. Zombies, fake history, heroes, victory by mankind.

54) Twothirtyeight, Regulate the Chemicals - This album holds up. I routinely listen to it when I want something to sing along to.

53) The Long Winters, When I Pretend to Fall - This album reminds me of the days when I had just moved back from Trinity. IT still brightens my day when I listen to it.

52) Wall-E - Another great Pixar film. How do you convey so much emotion with robots who *barely* speak English? I don't know, but they managed it.

51) The Squid and the Whale - Jeff Daniels' beard. Oh, and a great portrayal of the pain of divorce. Reminded me a lot of Ordinary People.

50) Damien Jurado, I Break Chairs - Damien is one of my favorite "under-the-radar" musicians. This album is different than most of his other stuff, but still great.

49) Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlanticism - So this is the new year?

48) Bright Eyes, Lifted - I bought this album in Denver over spring break in aught-three, I had heard it was good. I was thoroughly confused on my first listen, but later I learned to love Bright Eyes.

47) World of Warcaft - This is an amazing game. I may never play it again, but it seriously is incredible.

46) The Appleseed Cast, Two Conversations - I used to nap to this on a regular basis. A great melodic album and able to tell a story through it as well.

45) The Shins, Chutes Too Narrow - I do recall being in love with this album when I first got it. I'm not

44) Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer - I read this in the same month I read the two Asher Lev books, I felt very Jewish for at least two weeks. I really liked the intertwining stories.

43) Children of Men - I like the premise, I like the story, I like Clive Owens, I like the really long shots.

42) The Dark Knight - Yeah, this movie is awesome.

41) O Brother, Where Art Thou? - This is my dad's favorite film, and it's great. The Coens are brilliant, really. Everything about this movie is great.

40) Sondre Lerche, Two Way Monologue - Lynette introduced me to this artist and album, and I recently remembered it and started listening to it again. We saw him at the MShop, he was funny, the opener was not. Great little indie pop album.

39) The Decemberists, The Crane Wife - I like the subtle rock elements that this album brought.

38) Life of Pi by Yann Martel - I read this in my first month in Portland, when I read ten-plus books in the first few weeks I was there. I remember being really intrigued with it, and always wanted to reread it and write out my thoughts on it.

37) Radiohead, In Rainbows - In looking at some "Best of" lists I see that Kid A is near the top of a lot of them, I just can't get enough of this album though.

36) Wilco, Sky Blue Sky - Dad rock? Ok, I can accept that. It's good and beautiful and they're my favorite band. I left A Ghost is Born and Kicking Televison off the list because it might be too much Wilco. Is there such a thing?

35) Donnie Darko - Yeah, the indie film that every hipster claims to be their first favorite movie or something like that. I just think it's a cool story with interesting use of time travel. Although I did see Donnie Darko 2 [S. Darko] in the rental place the other day, it seems really a shame, right?

34) Once - An awesome story with amazing music. Sarah has fallen in love with this film, and I can't blame her. I always find it weird that I am disappointed that the characters make the right decision in the end.

33) Elliott Smith, Figure 8 - The only album that Smith really released in the aughts. Tragic that we have to do without him making new music, but we have some great stuff from him.

32) Iron & Wine, Our Endless Numbered Days - Another album that I remember being in love with at the time, but unlike the Shins, I still love this album. Beautiful Americana.

31) Stranger than Fiction - If they had cast someone other than Will Ferrell as the main character this film might be even higher on my list. Still, a great story and use of narrative within narrative.

30) Yo La Tengo, And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out - I had forgot the inclusion of any YLT, but Andrew reminded me of my folly. I haven't enjoyed the past few albums of theirs as much as I love I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One, but this album holds up. It's slow but full of emotion and beautiful droning music.

29) Kings of Convenience, Riot on an Empty Street - I still really like this album, from top to bottom. And they still remind me of Simon and Garfunkel.

28) Postal Service, Give Up - Yes, it's indietronicapop at it's best.

27) Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, Cardinology - Ryan Adams was part of eleven albums that released this decade. It's really hard to choose one or two of those, but I really dig this album. I saw the tour for this album, and it was great. I hope that mister Adams doesn't give up on making music as the rumors have indicated. Honorable mentions: Easy Tiger, Gold, Cold Roses, Pneumonia.

26) V for Vendetta - I saw this movie on my infamous Seattle spring break trip in aught-six. It was perhaps the highlight of the trip. And seeing it during the "height" of the Bush administration made it more believable.

25) The Office (US/UK) - I don't know how to separate the two versions, even though they are quite different now. The UK version made me cringe more than anything I'd ever watched, and the US version has waivered, but continues to make me laugh.

24) Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman - I went with Lynette to hear Klosterman give a reading at Powells. My first introduction to both the author and the [greatest] bookstore [in the world]. I have since thoroughly enjoyed his thoughts on all subjects, and I'm definitely a fan.

23) Bright Eyes, I'm Wide Awake and it's Morning - This album was king when it was released in aught-four, and it's still great. I might just have to listen to it right now.

22) Pedro the Lion, Control - My favorite Pedro album. A great [well, tragic and dark] story throughout, and really great guitar tone. Just a great album.

21) Harry Potter series by JK Rowling - It was reading the fourth book, Goblet of Fire, that I realized how awesome the series is. I bought the seventh book at midnight and read it in a day, and was a little sad when it was over. I've read the last three or four books multiple times. I'm not a superfan, but I really enjoy the series.

20) Death Cab for Cutie, We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes - Perhaps my first introduction to that thing called "indierock", by D. Bradley. I choose this album over Transatlanticism and The Photo Album because I like the mellowness and the story weaved within.

19) Over the Rhine, Ohio - A beautiful double album that introduced me to the band. Wonderful music with an incredible soulful voice.

18) 30 Rock - I know that there isn't much plot, but it's ability to continually make me laugh and laugh and then rewatch the episode, well, I hope it never goes away.

17) I am Trying to Break Your Heart (A Film about Wilco) - The combination of this film and living with Andy Tucker made me fall in love with Wilco. It's just amazing that Sam Jones was there with a camera to capture the story that unfolds about one of the best albums of the decade.

16) I Heart Huckabees - This film is existential. And brilliant. A great cast. Awesome use of philosophical matters within a great narrative. Yeah, awesome.

15) High Fidelity - I love music and movies and am confused about romance, so yes, I do love High Fidelity. Oh, and I like top fives. But really, I'm one of those guys that can see the brilliance and deeper meaning in the Nick Hornby story.

14) Arrested Development - Yes, the show that should still be making us laugh. Mitch Hurwitz is a genius. The layering and repetition of jokes, is amazing. I'm not sure how they could keep track of all that they did, but I'm glad that they managed to do what they could in three short seasons.

13) Battlestar Galactica - The show that made me feel okay about being a nerd. I love that I went from scoffing about this show to defending it within a few months. It really is great, you should watch it.

12) Darjeeling Limited - How do I sort out the Wes Anderson films? Not sure. Currently it's based on how many times I've watched each, which hinders his most recent work. BUT, this film did change things for Anderson's story-telling. That scene with the river and then the flashback? It melted my brain.

11) The Life Aquatic - I don't care if it's highly stylized, it's fun. And beautiful in a lot of ways. And beyond that, I love that Anderson's stories are almost entirely tragedies with comedic tones. I wish I had more "Wes Anderson Moments" in my life.

10) Hot Fuzz - The comedic team of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright may be literally unstoppable.

9) Shaun of the Dead -This Pegg/Frost/Wright film is amazing in many ways. My first intro to the team and it has slowly made its way up the charts on my all-time favorite films.

8)Royal Tenenbaums - The top-ranked Anderson film on my list. Everything about this film is great. Everything. If Bottle Rocket didn't have such sentimental meaning to me, Tenenbaums would be my favorite Anderson movie of all-time.

7) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - I went to this film by myself, and clearly remembering my mind being utterly blown at the end of it. The choice of love, the pain that comes with it, choosing to move past that pain. I really don't know how to communicate the emotions of the film.

6) Sufjan Stevens, Come On, Feel the Illinoise - Plenty has been written about this album. It's great, Sufjan is a genius, the stories told are incredible and beautiful, the orchestral nature of the music is amazing.

5) Belle & Sebestian, Dear Catastrophe Waitress - This is a great pop album. It probably doesn't hold a candle to Illinoise or YHF musically, but I love it. If I had to listen to only one album for the rest of my days, this would be it.

4) Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - Perhaps it was just my time in Portland or living with Andy or watching I am Trying to Break Your Heart repeatedly but something about this album will always live deep within me. The music has merged with the story of its creation and my time in Portland, and thus I love it.

3) Blue Like Jazz/A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller - I couldn't differentiate between these two books, I view them as bookends of each other. I read both at times in my life when I needed something to change my thinking a bit, to challenge me. Both books succeeded grandly.

2) Lord of the Rings - No other movie[s] come close to defining the 104 Family as much as the Lord of the Rings movies do. We watched them together, we cried to them together, we talked about them a lot, I can't watch them without thinking of the adventures of our fellowship. And, the story is one of my all-time favorites, having read the books repeatedly since fifth grade or so. And the movies manage to tell the story and show Tolkien's world marvelously.

1) LOST - It really was close between LotR and LOST, but LOST wins [perhaps only because the ending is still is a mystery to me]. In the past four years I've been watching LOST it has been a source of community and speculation, two of my favorite things. The mystery of the show, the use of lore, the characters... It really is awesome. I may feel like I've lost a friend when it ends this spring.

There you have it, may the tens be blessed with more great music, games, films, show, and books. you have my love.

Autumnal adventures

2009-12-16T22:45:00.000-06:00

I have had an exceptionally busy and wonderful autumn, most full of adventures and challenges. Not easy, but good. Very good. Three noteworthy adventures have marked this season and my life, and I would be mistaken to not share them.

The first journey has been one of writing my short story, which you have been able to see bits and pieces of. I went from a hesitant writer that struggled to ever finish writing stories to a still-hesitant but more confident writer who has aspirations of continuing to write short stories and attempting to publish them. My writing prof has been a great encourager (as have my other readers), and I learned the incredible importance of workshops and hearing the words of others regarding my work. I "finished" to fly, my story. I would like to expand it and work a few parts over, but I'm still really happy with it. If I haven't sent it to you and you want to read the full story, ask and I'll send it your way. I'm looking forward to being in the right mind to get working on some other stories.

The second, at least chronologically, adventure was that I became a boyfriend. Two months ago I worked up the courage to ask the lovely Sarah out on a date. We went out for Mexican and then talked and talked. It went well enough to go on another and another, and pretty soon we were dating and then we were "facebook official". This is the first real dating relationship I've ever been in, so it has been a bit of a wandering around in the dark, attempting to figure out what exactly I'm supposed to do, how I'm supposed to lead and protect her and the like. And how to plan dates! Oh how I never realized that you actually had to plan things to do. Despite the "work" that is involved that I never realized, it's been a really fun experience and we are looking forward to whatever is on the horizon.

My third adventure was a venture across the sea. Brandon,Steph and I travelled over the pond to visit Ush and Stef, who live in London. Once the jet lag wore off [mostly] we explored the city and conquered the Tube. We walked so many miles those first three days, but we managed to see nearly every old building that we wanted to see. My favorite was Westminster Abbey; it's an amazing place full of English history and was beautiful enough to direct my thoughts to God, which I'm assuming is the purpose of an Abbey. And we spent a couple of days in Amsterdam. I actually spent Thanksgiving wandering around the city by myself and reading in a hostel, it was nice, but I certainly missed being at home with the family. And I missed Sarah, which was a bit of a new experience. By that point in the trip we were all pretty worn out, so there was a lot of laying about, which was really okay. We did round the week out by going to the Arsenal-Chelsea match, which was amazing, and did indeed convert me into an Arsenal fan, despite the bad loss. Overall, a great trip. I loved London, I really liked Amsterdam. I'd like to go back, not only to continue exploring London, but also to see visit the Pai's again.

So that was my autumn. I actually started writing this post right after I got back from London, some two weeks ago, but my life has been so busy since that this is the first time I've had to finish it. But you all are in luck, I have a lot of time on my hands and several ideas to get on this here blog in the next few weeks. If you want a copy of the story, email me. If you want to look at pics of my trip, check facebook. I'm looking forward to what adventures winter holds for me, if they are anywhere close to these past few months, surely I'll continue to be blessed. you have my love.

My fortress of solitude

2009-11-05T21:56:00.003-06:00

My life has been full, my October was busy and wonderful and now it's November. Time to blog. My life is indeed full and busy, and I am connected beyond the imagination of anyone from a couple decades could even imagine. I'm texted and Twittered and Facebooked and Google-Chatted and Google-Waved and on and on. I've filled my evenings with hanging out with all sorts of great people, even junior high kids. And I love being connected to these people that I really care about. However, being a borderline introvert all of this is enough to wear me out, and usually I'm exhausted by Thursday afternoon. I'm able to regroup then with some Hulutime or a run or a rare nap, but then I'm off again for the weekend. It's a good life, but I have to get some healthy alone time.

My fortress of solitude* was built in the twenties. It has been a brewery, a furnace factory, a storage space, and most recently a filming locale for The Experiment. I am, of course, talking about the warehouse at which I spend some of my vocational time. I realize that, if you're a steadfast reader of my blog, it may seem as though there have been times in which I've loathed the warehouse. Maybe I have, but those times are in the past and have been forgiven.

I generally have the whouse [pronounced house] to myself when I am there. The first order of business is to turn the radio from whatever pop station my coworker was listening to and put the dial to the NPR classical music station. And then if it's dark I fire up a couple of the light bulbs and maybe the furnace. Despite the music, it's a much quieter space than I'm used to. I think it would make sense that having introvert time would be more likely seen in sitting at my desk and putting my feet up. But it's actually moments like that when I spend too much time in my head and come out on the other side full of anxiety. Instead I find the heaviest boxes to lift, the dirtiest files to sort, the hardest project to work on and I get to it. Somehow while I'm working I'm able to think through things in a less intense manner, thus saving my brain from being fried.

The whouse isn't a place that is very home-ish or comfort-able. But it has grown on me and has become my fortress of solitude, my place of rest and of labor. There is a realization that I could very well not be working there by this time next year**, and it's definitely a bittersweet thought. I suppose when that day comes, I will just have to find myself another place to be an introvert. you have my love.

*this is a Superman reference, but it does not mean that I'm a "Superman-guy".
**I would actually love to buy the whouse and turn it into something really cool. I would just need approximately ten to fifteen million dollars to pull that off.

The early days

2009-10-09T22:21:00.005-05:00

I've been blogging for nearly seven years now, though, as some of my long-term readers can attest, I've been inconsistent at points. I was looking over some of those first posts and was thinking about how far I've come. I was twenty-one, a junior in college, living with a bunch of guys whom I still considered some of my best friends, and I was just learning how to write. Not in the sense of my ABC's, or learning how to type or even write a paper. I was learning how to write what I was feeling. But it didn't come out that way a lot of times.

For a long while I wrote about what was going on in my life, and it ended up coming across more like a report of what I did or was doing. Of course I can look at the posts and remember the emotions behind it. And I can see hints of what was going on behind the scenes, so to speak. There was a lot of editing, trying not to reveal too much and yet give a somewhat reliable story of my life. And I suppose the editing still goes on, it's tough for me to justify putting my whole heart out on the internet.

My writing evolved. The report-like posts gave way to a variety of different types of posts: topical essays, anecdotes, rants, fragmented absurdities, lists, best of's, etc. I suppose I realized the boringness of having to read someone's what I did today posts when that is all the person ever posted. Now days I'm trying to find the stories in my life and write about them. Or making up stories and posting them. Or putting together some introspective thoughts. Sometimes I think it would be nice to return to those old style posts, just giving the details and leaving my thoughts out. It would be easier, especially when I am going through the crap of life and don't really want to anyone to step in and sift through it with me. But a long time ago I made the decision to share my life, not always through this blog, but sometimes through it. And it would be dishonest and less safe for me to return to that. But then again, I could just write ambiguous and introspective thoughts and leave you with no real insight into my life*. you have my love.

*Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to end this post.

Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

2009-10-07T21:51:00.005-05:00

It is no secret that I have recently given into and fully embraced that which is Battlestar Galactica [BSG]. For those who doubt, I challenge you to watch it, and by the end of the second [2.5] season you can make a judgement call on it. However, this post is only inspired by BSG, not about it. Let me proceed.

One reason I like BSG so much is the idea of a Battlestar fleet in general. There is a fleet of ships out there, defending the peoples and exploring the great expanse of space. Obviously BSG isn't the first narrative to go on about the idea of exploration [Star Trek, On The Road, Moby Dick?, etc.], and furthermore is more about the protection aspect, which is why this post isn't necessarily about the show, but about the idea. I have long had a love for the idea of exploration. Sometimes when I am in a beautiful place I wonder what it would be like to be the first person ever to see it. Can you imagine what the first person thought when they saw the Grand Canyon? I've never been, but I've seen pictures so I would know what to expect - and even then I would be amazed beyond belief. Now imagine someone who was just trekking along and came across it. I would have loved to be with Magellan as he travelled around [circumvent] the world.

The second part of the equation is that, in these narratives and real life events, the exploration was done in community. These days people cross oceans and continents and the world by themselves and are heralded as champions of the human spirit, or some crap like that. When I see those stories in the news I think, 'man, I would miss my loved ones. Wouldn't it be such a better trip if they were with them?' And it's true. I have verified personal, experiential evidence that proves when one experiences something that ought be meaningful, it is less meaningful when experienced alone. [It should be noted at this point that I'm tired and drinking whiskey, so I'm not sure where this is going anymore*]. I could go into great detail about community and such, but if you're reading my blog you more than likely know how I feel about community. If you don't, ask, I'll inform you.

So, there the crew of Galactica is, floating around in space, living in community. It's harsh and imperfect and ripe for exploration and adventure. Eating meals together, mourning and celebrating, learning to forgive, forgetting and learning again. Community and exploration, hand in hand. To me, there may be nothing better. So either I join the Starfleet or I get going on finding a way to live that out here on terra firma. And I'm happy to do that, I'm excited at the possibilities ahead of me. Excited to explore this life more fully than I have been these past few years. There's a positive turn coming up around the bend, I feel it and it's unsafe and ready to be embraced. you have my love.

*Rambleblog of the year. Friends don't let friends drink and blog.

Writer's commentary on "to fly"

2009-09-29T22:29:00.003-05:00

Rocky Butte state park, NE Portland. I would go there sometimes after I would drop the Sanchezes off at the airport. Annie's Donuts, of course. The idea for the story came from dreams that I have a few times a year in which I witness plane crashes, the reoccurring dreams that the protagonist has are some of the dreams that I have had. The first time I flew I was six months old, to South Carolina. The last time I flew was to Portland, where the story is set. I'm definitely not afraid to fly. The college in Spokane: Gonzaga, the Zags. The grad school: Notre Dame, a M.M.S. in Medieval Studies. Johanna was originally Joanna, taken from using the "random article" function on wikipedia, Joanna of Castille. I switched it to Johanna because of a girl I knew at Trinity who I thought was very pretty, but I was afraid to talk to her. I have been to the Vatican, it was incredible, even as a non-Catholic. I listened to A LOT of Ryan Adams / Cardinals while writing it, I wonder if it comes through. Sometimes I feel like my style is somehow new, but I know it isn't. I don't like fully disclosing some aspects of the story. Such as: A) I'm not sure whether or not that the protagonist's name will ever be revealed. B) It's clearly set in Portland, but I may never come out and say that [so my Iowan readers won't pick up on that]. I think it's interesting that no one in the workshop said anything about the fact that the father disappeared from the story [which was purposeful], but they wanted to know where the story was taking place. I haven't really written any dialogue for the story yet, but I'm looking forward to it. I figured out today how the story will end, but I have a feeling that most of the people in my class will be disappointed. I won't be. It's the right way to end it and I'm fairly certain that it's good, i.e. unsafe.

These are my thoughts on the first thousand words. I really like the process of writing, it's a challenge that I'm up to. No one in class asks me where the pieces of the story come from, but I think it's worth sharing. Maybe that's just me. you have my love.

Autumnal words

2009-09-23T22:27:00.002-05:00

I'm drinking abundant amounts of apple cider, I'm writing a short story, I'm thinking that a hoodie might be necessary. I should be focusing more on the story, but I needed to put some of these words here. The first is the opening paragraph to my story, and maybe I'll keep putting pieces of it up here. The second is a poem by the illustriously absurd Andrew Gates, which I somehow inspired. I forget the story, I'm sure it doesn't make any sense though. you have my love.

(tentatively titled "to fly")
My father would bring me here after Mass sometimes. We would grab some donuts and watch the planes land and take off, struggling against the gorge’s high winds, disappearing into or appearing from the skies above. If it was clear enough we could see the stream rising off Mount St. Helen’s. He would tell me the stories of the Saints as I watched the Cessna’s, Airbuses and 737’s bounce through the air. I would ask him what the Latin words from Mass meant and he knew every word and phrase. He would tell me about different planes and try to explain how such massive machines could stay suspended in air. And at night I would dream of planes crashing into the ground.

(? - by Andrew Gates)
It's in the air...a bite...a chill...this autumn hour is upon us.
Leaves rustle in a symphony of aural bliss...this autumn hour is upon us.
The warmth of the sun is steadily negated by the winds...this autumn hour is upon us.
Sleeves on shirts, hoods and hats...this autumn hour is upon us.
Out in the field, the orchard, the plain...this autumn hour is upon us.
Hands become numb, rigorously I exhale...this autumn hour is upon us.
Creation beautifully makes its way into hibernation...this autumn hour is upon us.
Hair on my face is embraced as a shield...this autumn hour is upon us.
The process has begun, the wheels in motion...this autumn hour is upon us.
Sleep now, but haste not the winter...this autumn hour is upon us.
Embrace each moment of blissful autumn...God bless this autumn hour.

A stumble

2009-09-09T21:50:00.003-05:00

POP! "Shit! Shit-shit-shit-shit." I somehow managed not to completely fall headfirst into the brush and, on my hands and knees, I began to wonder if I had just broken my ankle.

It was a truly beautiful day and I was making the best of it. My newly-embraced running partner Ben was joining me on one of my favorite runs - a fartlek [Swedish for "speed play"] on the Ashworth Pool trails. These trails are popular for local mountain bikers. The trails have great hills, some narrow crossings, a few hairpin turns - for a trail in the middle of Iowa, it's a great place to ride. It's the type of trails that allow for an incredibly natural running experience and it demands a lot from those who run there. There has to be attention given to every step; with numerous trees and their roots, branches, rocks crowding the trail a runner must be aware of all that is on the path before him.

The amazing conditions of the day had one drawback in this instance. The sunlight that made the day so glorious in every other way broke through the forest canopy in a manner that confuses the eye, making it difficult for total focus of what exactly is on the trail.

We had finished one loop, a little less than two miles. My legs had clearly not recovered from a horrible run a few days before and I had found myself dragging my feet more than a runner should. Ben was spent, he didn't have the experience of hills and speed work; understandably he called it good and let me on my way to run the reverse loop.

It wasn't easy. I was definitely struggling. But even amidst the challenging run I was enjoying this quiet run in the woods. I saw a few deer and less people.

It was a rock that I had stepped on. It jutted from the ground, just beyond the patch of sunlight that had blinded me from its existence. The 'POP' of my ankle ligaments and the pain shooting up my leg was the first evidence that the rock had been there. I assessed my ankle: it wasn't swollen yet, no laceration, test it for strength - I could put some weight on it, that was good. If it was broken, it wasn't too bad. Getting up, I hobbled over to the rock. I couldn't cast too much blame on the rock, it certainly didn't intend to ruin my run, my day or my training schedule; it was just a rock and I was just a runner, these things happen, even on beautiful, perfect days. I turned back to the trail and started the quarter-mile walk to my car.

---

Don't worry, it turned out to be a minor sprain. Though Doctor Nate did advise me to be careful in case there are any hairline fractures that could be disastrous if I returned to running too quickly. I'm back to nearly a full range-of-motion, but still have a little swelling and even less pain. And I will indeed return to those trails, though I may only go when it's less sunny.

This was my first "attempt" of story-telling, I suppose it's the format that I'll stick to when telling a story [just hopping into it without any preface]. Feel free to provide feedback, if I didn't want any I wouldn't have posted it. you have my love.

Relearning the narrative way

2009-08-27T17:43:00.004-05:00

The first week of classes always seems to awaken some sleeping giant in my heart, this week is no different and the sleeping giant of the week is related to this here blog. I'm taking a creative writing course and it's slapping me upside the head. I've spent a large quantity of time thinking about a story to work on, and it's been a struggle. Now, it is supposed to end up at ten to fifteen pages, which intimidates me, and so I've rejected a lot of ideas based on the inability to squeeze that long of a story out of whatever idea is being rejected. However, all this thinking and rejecting has been making me think quite a bit about my so-called ability of story-telling, and I've come to at least one conclusion and a couple of hopeful resolutions.

Somehow during these past few years I've lost what once was a solid understanding of my own narrative. That is to say that I feel as though I've become less of the protagonist and more of an observer. And life is not meant to be lived in third person. Now, I would not say the observer-in-me has overtaken the protagonist-in-me, but it's been such a shift that it obviously bothers me.

How on earth do I resolve that? Part of it is attempting to use my gifts, but that's a whole other post. For now I have a couple of ideas. One is to carry around a pocket notebook and make note of the stories that I am part of, and those I observe. Perhaps there are stories that I'm a part of that I'm just not realizing, documentation could reveal that. And it might show that I'm less an observer than I thought. The second step is to take some of those stories and expand on them here on this blog. Stories aren't really stories until they're told. And maybe that will lead to a resurgence of my story-telling and this blog. I'll leave you with a quote from Sherman Alexie's "This Is What It Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona". You have my love.

We are all given one thing by which out lives are measured, one determination. Mine are the stories that can change or not change the world. It doesn't matter which, as long as I continue to tell the stories.

A simple, uh, man's daybook

2009-06-27T15:35:00.007-05:00

I read this on Monica's blog the other day and decided to steal it from her, though she only borrowed it from the other Monica.

outside my window. . .
The day is cooler than this past week. Actually it feels cooler now than when I ran this morning, though perhaps it was just the heat reflecting off the track. I was going to write this on the porch, but when I say "cooler" it still means nearly eighty degrees. The breeze is nice, the grass is long, and I unfortunately have no sweet tea.

I am listening to. . .
MPR's The Current, which I shamelessly promote to all my music-loving friends. Listen, fall in love, contribute and proselytize. Also: Peter Bradley Adams [via @BMick], The Avett Brothers [via co-worker Emily], and a lot of Ryan Adams. Highly anticipating Wilco (The Album) as it's dropping in t-minus three days.

I am thinking. . .
Pondering really. About grad school, houses and girls. Not really in that order, but they're all present within my mind.

I am thankful. . .
For air conditioning - I'm far, far from being a warm-weather person, and my life would be some sort of hell without an A/C unit in my bedroom. For friendships that encourage me to use my brain and heart, reigniting passions within me that had dulled to near-nonexistence. For iced teas and iced coffees. For my job.

from the learning room. . .
Nothing much, unfortunately. With classes over for the summer I have embraced the slacker-lifestyle: reading a lot of non-fiction and immersing myself into Battlestar Galactica. I need to be thinking/preparing for a couple of things: GRE, ACSM [American College of Sports Medicine] accreditation, CPR/First aid certifications.

from the kitchen. . .
My fridge and cupboards are almost empty. I'm not around much during the summer, and usually eat pretty lightly for breakfast and dinner. I probably should do dishes this weekend.

I am wearing. . .
Shorts. With the heat most of my housemates and I have been wandering around the house in our underwear. It really was too hot for clothes. Since it's a bit cooler today I reinstated the idea of wearing more than just my underwear.

I am hoping. . .
To understand a great mystery. That we figure out our living situation [we need one or two more guys for the fall]. That Josh and I will be able to end our game of phone tag.

I am creating. . .
I restarted work on my story/screenplay again. Trying to work the kinks out of the plot so I can start with the dialogue.

I am praying. . .
For community. For friendship. For forgiveness. For wisdom. For justice. For babies.

around the house. . .
The house has been incredibly empty this summer, which doesn't necessarily bother me, but it is nice to hang out with folks. Since we're down two guys and our schedules and trips are all over the place, we don't spend much time together. I'm supposing that this fall will be different, but who knows.

I am reading. . .
I took a short break from For Whom the Bell Tolls to reread the last two Harry Potter books [inspired to do so by @JenniferVM and the upcoming movie]. I'm halfway through number seven, so it will be back to Hemingway soon enough. I've been thinking of starting up a theology book, but I'm not entirely sure I'll have the drive to commit to that.

one of my favorite things. . .
Currently I, and my co-workers, are on a crossword kick. Unfortunately our boss put the kibosh on that the other day. It's fun to take down a challenging puzzle as a group. Also, since this post was inspired by Mon, hanging out with the Ghalis is another favorite "thing" of mine. I've been able to hangout with Mark several times this summer and I must say that I've missed him, I hope that he returns to Iowa after his Egyptian adventures. And I have had a couple of chances to be around the parental-Ghalis, and have been encouraged and felt the presence of wisdom among them. And in a bit of time I'll get to spend time with Monica, which I'm looking forward to a little bit.

a few plans for the rest of the week. . .
Tonight: church, a movie, hangs outs? Tomorrow: golf, soccer [U.S.? Wow] and reading. The week: my boss will be gone, so I'm sort of filling in for him. But it should be a light week, with the holiday coming up and all. And perhaps this will be the week that I come out of disc golf retirement to shoot a round with Brandon and Mark, so hopefully we'll get some good weather for that.

a picture thought i am sharing. . .

My dad and I are going to Montana to fish in July, so this is a photo of things-to-come, but with me doing the flycasting and maybe holding up a huge fish. Maybe. you have my love.

When your heart is scattered

2009-06-16T21:04:00.003-05:00

I have a problem. I guess it isn’t as much as a problem as it is a complication. It becomes a problem when I have to make life-changing decisions. It is thus: that when I come to love people I love the places that I associate with them and subsequently find it difficult to live anywhere but there. Since I have many close friends whom are scattered across the globe it is hard for me to be fully content living in any one place.

My currently tentative three-year plan involves deciding on where I would like to live out, at least, my thirties. Unless I can talk someone else into paying my bills, I will probably do grad school here at Iowa State. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it involves me making a decision against Oregon State, University of Wisconsin, Michigan State, etc. – the local universities of some of the other desirable locales. When that [final] era of schooling is done, I should probably have a decision ready or I may live forever in a state of ambiguity. FOR-ev-er.

My current plan for making this decision: getting married and having her make that decision. Just kidding.

Seriously though, I want to reconcile this love I feel for my friends with the fact that I will have to live apart from most of them, and it’s a tough task. I know that some people are content with knowing that they had great friends in that era of their life, but they can compartmentalize the eras of their life to be okay with that. I’m loyal to a fault, so that’s not easy/possible for me to do.

I suppose that long distance friendships aren’t impossible. Five years ago when I was living in Des Moines and Josh was living in Tennessee we made great use of free night minutes and developed a far better friendship than we had while living with each other. Of course we were single, absurd and relatively carefree then; nonetheless, it proves that to some degree that friendship can be deepened despite the distance. However, the mystery remains. I’ll let you know in three years how it all works out. you have my love.

Prayers at midnight

2009-06-12T23:37:00.004-05:00

When I was younger in my faith I tried on several occasions to write down all the things I could think of that I could pray for. These lists included the names of all my friends and acquaintances at the time and ended up being pages and pages long. It would be fine the first few days, I would just make my way down the list and pick off a few that I knew were in need of "serious prayer" [what does that even mean?]. Within a week I felt overwhelmed, would throw the list out and declare that I would just pray for whatever came to mind.

These days I have a whiteboard in my room, which I use for running schedules, a lot of unused blog ideas, keeping track of bills, and things that need prayer. The prayer list has eight headings, with a total of twelve subheadings. Essentially, seventeen [don't mind the math, I got out of bed to write this] things to pray for. And yet, when I quiet myself to pray, I still feel overwhelmed. It isn't a matter of quantity, but the weight of the needs. I think of my father's health, the community that surrounds me, the unrest in Peru, the lost of Germany, the lost amongst my friends and I don't know where to start. To make matters worse, the state of my faith is incredibly messy. That may be an understatement. I need to remind myself what prayer is - what my faith is: communion with God.

Our Father, who is in heaven, Holy is your name. May your Kingdom come, may your will be done in my life, on this earth as it is done in heaven. Grant us our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, forgive me my pride, as I forgive those who have wronged me. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil - that we might do good. May the Kingdom, the power, the glory and honor be yours forever and ever. Amen.

Rehearsals for a departure

2009-06-09T21:49:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure if I've ever made this public, but my main mechanism of defense is to run away. When things get tough, I get out. Case in point: the Portland experience. I moved out there because things were tough here, and I moved back because things were tough there. It occurs on the micro level as well; I avoid all sorts of conversations that might make me uncomfortable.

Lately I've been in the mood to prove myself wrong, so I decided to stop running away. I'm not entirely sure of my career path, but I've set my course. And that course may even take me to grad school. Again. I was frustrated with my living situation, but I decided that it was better to struggle amongst people than to live easily alone. And I've been thinking about how I need to get back into the proverbial fight regarding my faith. To a lesser degree I restarted reading "For Whom the Bells Toll," which I had given up on because at the time I was over-Hemingwayed. In regards to the micro, well. I haven't figured that out yet. I'll let you know how that goes. you have my love.

Post title taken from Damien Jurado's album of a similar name. You should listen to it.

The loneliness of the long run

2009-05-19T20:05:00.002-05:00

First I must admit that I will not be running Dam to Dam this year as I may or may not have wrote earlier. At a month out from the race I decided that I just didn't have my distance up to par. I wanted to be at eleven or twelve miles and I was at eight. You should know that I don't consider a run as long until it's six or more miles, although someday I hope to be like one of these amazing guys. I needed a new goal so I decided that this summer I will get faster. A lot of mile and two mile repeats, shorter interval runs, but keeping up the longer runs on the weekend. I actually haven't had a long run in several weeks, which means I need to get to it.

I ran middle distance my first two years of high school. I don't have many regrets, but not running cross country and not finishing the last two years of track are on my list of regrets [I don't actually keep a list of regrets]. At the end of practice our coach would send us on a long run to, well I don't really know why, I suppose it was good for us in some fashion. A lot of the guys in the group were cross country runners, and so I would eventually find myself alone at the back of the pack, running through the wilds of West Des Moines.

Those runs, so long ago now, remain the foundation of my long runs these days. I end up in the country or some tucked away corner of the city where I can run by myself and embrace the loneliness of a middle distance runner. The thought crossed my mind today how odd it is that I, as someone who must have community to survive, also love being alone in a time where I'm pushing my body to its limits. I am a weird mix of intro- and extro- version. But there is also something to be said about these long runs being somewhat meditative, maybe more on that some other day.

News and notes: I finished the semester, not strongly, not weakly, I managed. I made a trip to Western Michigan, which was lovely and I loved seeing the Gateses and Jennifer and the lake dunes. Any day now we will finish phase II on the massive warehouse overhaul. Word on the street is that this film may be shot on location in my home away from home [the warehouse] - which would be absolutely incredible, or incredibly annoying. That's all I got for now. you have my love.

2009-04-30T18:31:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking about what is "next" lately. I suppose it's a good time for it. Winter has, I hope, officially ended and there is an abundant amount of new life growing in the out-of-doors. The semester is ending, which points my focus to the classes I have on the horizon. If my mind wasn't already thinking about the possibilities of dating someone, the fact that a lot of relationships are beginning or blossoming into the "M" word, and the collapse of the Her? Campaign would bring my thoughts towards the idea of romance. Another season of Lost is ending. People are moving. And so on. So what is next?

I have a year of classes left, then a summer internship. Hopefully this internship will be somewhere that I can stay. I know I've listed places that I am thinking about, but there are really only three (some days four) places that I will seriously look into moving to - or staying in. It feels weird. When I finished at Trinity I knew that my only bet was to go home again. This time that really isn't an viable option, meaning that I have to move on. And I want to move on. This next chapter of my life has been delayed long enough.

I daydream about what it would be like to live like an actual adult. As much as I love the freedom offered by being a student, at times it seems flat. I do so much and, if I'm not careful and purposeful, all that I do can be of very little substance.

The next year, as they all do, will go fast. It will be a busy summer then two busy semesters and I will be at the next step. I can only hope that I'll be ready. I have this idea that it would be a lot easier to take this next step with someone, even if it was a friend. I'm not sure I see that happening, but I guess there's still a year left for that to come to fruition.

For those of you thinking that I had abandoned this blog 'o mine, I have to say that I considered it. Briefly. I've enjoyed blogging so much that I can't just give it up. I may be busier/lazier than previous blogging eons, but maybe that's why I ought to keep writing. I've been thinking that I may write a story (from my life or from my mind) every week, if just to keep my mind thinking about the narrative. Hopefully I can continue telling this story, I'd like to give this chapter a good ending while getting ready for whatever is next. you have my love.

Homemade economic remedies

2009-03-27T19:32:00.005-05:00

It seems as though half of the nation is in a gripped panic in the face of a potential economic meltdown. The other half of the nation is watching something on cable. I'm here to quell your fears America, I will tell you how to overcome this season of fear.

Investing
Investing is crucial to accruing and preserving wealth. However, the markets are all over the place and no one company is safe to put your money in. But there is one entire industry that is going untapped and is only growing. I know, you want in on the ground level, don't we all. I present to you the future of American wealth:

That's right, the plastic beaded necklace [PBN] is the wave of the future! I think that the PBN will bypass the publicly traded market and go straight to the commodity market. The demand for PBN is as high as it has ever been; people will humiliate themselves in public, degrade themselves, and even run into busy streets for PBN. Not only do I recommend that you invest in PBN in the markets, but I would also prescribe buying as much PBN you can and stockpiling it. If and when the economy fully collapses, I foresee PBN being used as a currency. If you are unable to purchase PBN for yourself at any party supplies warehouse, you can certainly return to the practice of our ancestors: gathering; particularly in times of festivity and parades - the next season of PBN abundance is during early July. Best of luck to you, my friends, in BPN accumulation.

Identity
Americans are constantly making purchases of items to "define" their identity: clothes, cars, electronic devices, etc. These are non-durable goods, meaning that they will not last. Eventually they will fade into material nothingness or into meaninglessness. Instead of showing off one's identity with these purchases I am encouraging a one-time purchase that will allow for cheaper purchases of those other items. This purchase which I am promoting has already found its niche in the lower class of our nation, thus showing high potential for the middle and upper classes in the face of economic hardship. I give you your future identity marker:

That's right, the "neck tat" can easily reveal to even complete strangers who you really are. In the above picture the upstanding gentleman went with something simple and to the point. I can only assume that it is the name of the woman who is his first and only love. Putting her name on his neck tells the world of the love and commitment that he has for her. Truly neck tats can provide the external identity marker that you crave.

Last ditch idea
Time is running out and I am losing in Madden '94 for Sega Genesis, desperation is running high, and though I am trying my best to overcome the mounting pressure of an impending loss, I can not. With mere seconds left on the clock I do the only honorable thing left to do: I pause the game and hit reset. If the economy gets worse and showing signs of immediate collapse, then President Obama and his colleagues around the world should just pause the game and pull a worldwide economic reset. Everyone gets to keep what they have, all debts are cancelled, all banks are given equal amounts of money, all monetary inflation rates are done away with, and all incomes and prices of goods return to their 1950's levels. You know, kind of like in The Matrix Revolutions. Didn't it succeed in restoring the reputation of that movie franchise? I can only imagine the good it would do for the world economy.

And there are Travis' homemade economic remedies. I only ask that when you put these ideas into practice that you tell all who will listen that these concepts originated in my brain. Now if you excuse me, I think there's a NCIS episode on that don't remember the outcome of. you have my love.

Spring breaking

2009-03-17T21:17:00.002-05:00

Four days into spring break and I can say that I have accomplished very little. Which would seem to be a good thing for a spring breaker, but I actually did want to get some things done. What do I have to do?

- Finish Galapagos, which I did last night.
- Work forty or so hours, I'm a little behind schedule with that
- Finish the synopsis to the story/screenplay I'm working on, which I have yet to touch. Maybe Thursday.
- Homework, yeah I have some of that, which I also have not touched. I'm okay with that.
- Enjoy the nice weather, working a lot of hours doesn't allow that so much, but I did go for a walk/jog this morning which was lovely.

Yeah, that's about all I have. Normally I would take a short trip to Chicago or something, but I couldn't pull that off this year and just needed to work for the cash-money. But I am going to see Ben Folds tomorrow night, which should rock. I would like to say that the rest of the week will be productive, but with the tourny starting on Thursday my productivity is in major doubt. I am already working on my goals for this summer, so maybe that will be my season of productivity. Let's hope so, because number one on the list of summer goals is more dates. Dudebro, up high. *Sigh*. you have my love.

Her? Campaign pledges: 5 [1 since last post]
Her? Campaign contacts: 1 [0 since last post]

The madness begins

2009-03-15T09:18:00.002-05:00

I've spent the past week doing two things: working on numerous academic challenges and watching conference tournaments. It's no secret that I love college basketball this time of year, and this year is already providing excitement in massive amounts. I was indeed up for all six overtimes in Thursday/Friday's Syracuse v. UConn match up, and though I was really tired on Friday it was most definitely worth it. Other notes: Big Ten? Big Weak. Big Twelve? Big Suck. USC in the house! Nice job Tim Floyd, please come back to Iowa State. The Big East is the place to be. Memphis may be a good team, but when your quality wins are only Tennessee and Gonzaga and you spend the entire season beating up on C-USA teams, you do not get to have a number one seed. Try playing some tough teams next year. Speaking of seeds, I think everyone has the same predictions and rivals.com even agrees with me:

One seeds
UNC
Louisville
UConn
Pitt

Two seeds
Michigan State
Memphis
Duke [boo]
Oklahoma

And my predictons? Well, without seeing the actual brackets all I can say is that the winner has a pretty good chance of being from the Big East. I lean towards UConn, but it's a crazy tournament. I'll post my final four here in the next few days, as well as an actual life-update since that may be what you're actually looking for. you have my love.

When I've had too much coffee

2009-03-01T16:24:00.006-06:00

On Friday I had an interesting mix of media-influenced emotions. The night before I had read the first half of Watchmen. During my drive to DSM I listened to the Valentine's Day episode of This American Life, and while driving around DSM for work I was listening to Amos Lee's self-titled release. With Watchmen I had this sense of despair and destruction, with TAL I had a sense of hope in the face of pursuing love, and with Amos I had the beauty of love and the sadness of that love being unrequited. I wasn't entirely sure how to react to it all. It reminded me of one of my all time favorite quotes, from The Brothers Karamazov [Dostoevsky], as said by Father Zosima to Aloysha:

This is not your place for the time. I bless you for great service in the world. Yours will be a long pilgrimage. And you will have to take a wife, too, you will have to. You will have to bear all before you come back. There will be much to do. But I don't doubt of you, and so I send you forth. Christ is with you. Do not abandon Him and He will not abandon you. You will see great sorrow, and in that sorrow you will be happy. This is my last message to you: in sorrow seek happiness.

This quote has resonated in my heart and mind ever since reading it three years ago. I would like to think that it's a bit of a defining passage for my life. It makes me wonder about my story, where it's leading me, or where I am leading it, or better yet, where God is leading the story that I happen to be in. And my mind dwells on the thought of taking risks for the sake of further hope. But in all of this I am happy to spend time having honest conversations with friends who encourage me to continue developing that story. The story will have sorrow, hope, joy, destruction, creation and through all and in all, Christ. And probably some coffee. you have my love.

Her? Campaign pledges: 5 [1 since last post]
Her? Campaign contacts: 1 [0 since last post]

Four quick thoughts

2009-02-21T14:28:00.003-06:00

This semester has been a busy one. Not hard, but busy. A lot of small projects to keep me occupied. There have been more than a few moments in which I have felt discouraged, but there have also been a couple of instances that have been really affirming in regards to the path that I am on.

I was thinking the other day about my phone conversations of five years ago with one Joshua Overbay. The absurdity we spoke of over the phone was a brilliant light that I miss. As pleased as I am with my current life, I wish that both he and I had the schedules to converse in such a manner again. Maybe when we both finish with this thing called academia.

My dog, Knucklehead - a Brittney spaniel, turned thirteen years old yesterday. That's ninety-one in dog years. Which means what exactly? Anyway, for an old timer he still loves to run and pee on things. Not at the same time of course.

I watched Slumdog Millionaire last night. A beautiful film. In all honesty it in some ways it was a bit demoralizing. For someone who aspires to write, it makes me question whether or not I will ever be able to write anything that comes even close to being that good. That being said, I started working on a short film project for this summer - it's exciting, but intimidating as it will be my first real script. I'll keep it at that for now. you have my love.

Her? Campaign pledges: 4
Her? Campaign contacts: 1

Her?

2009-02-14T12:00:00.003-06:00

I'm a little nervous to write this post, partially because of what reactions [or lack thereof] might occur, and partially because of what could come from it. That second source of nervousness is why I think I should write this, so here it goes.

Today I am announcing an initiative well-fitting of the day it's being announced on: "Her? A Campaign to get Travis Dating". I know that this could cause of furor amongst the remaining iEHBS members, but please note that it's a campaign to get me dating, but a campaign to get me a girlfriend. Big difference. My attitude has always been to be skeptical of dating [not sure of the root of that], but something changed when I attended the Chambers-Johnson "incident" [wedding]. Upon returning to the land of snow and ice my thoughts meandered towards the idea of getting myself comfortable with casual dating, as I have no experience with it whatsoever, in hopes of preparing me for the possibility of someday being in a serious dating relationship. In short, though I'm jokingly bringing it about, I feel that this could be a good thing for my psyche.

How will this campaign work? Well, it depends on you the reader [no pressure]. I am in no position to find single ladies on my own. The places in which I spend nearly all of my time [school, work, my car, Wilson House] are not very conducive to finding compatible ladies for me to date. So the campaign is this: readers, set me up on dates [blind or not] with single ladies that you think I would get along with. I will give priority [if needed] to those who I feel know me best, as the people who know me best would have a better idea of who would be a good match for me. Why you? Well, I trust my readers, mostly because you're my friends. And you're much cheaper than eHarmony. That being said, there will be rewards [titles] for those who participate in this campaign:

1) Pledges. Those who pledge to actively look for someone to set me up with.

2) Not-liars. People who actually do what they pledged to do and set me up with someone.

3) Winners. People who set me up with someone that I am fairly compatible with.

If you set up a double date for me and my friend Kevin, all rewards will be doubled. And I suppose if anything comes from the set-up you could possibly get mad props at any further advancement in the relationship [engagement, marriage, fifty-year anniversary]. But let's not start with that, the point is to minimize the pressure of casual dating.

So there is the inauguration of the campaign. Was I right to be nervous in writing this? Will anyone respond? Will it be the most awkward blog post ever? I'm not sure, but I suppose it's time to find out. you have my love.

Manual labor

2009-02-12T21:42:00.007-06:00

I've had some fun manual labor projects as of late. I thought it would be fun to share some pictures of what these projects entail. The first is of the massive warehouse project that involves the moving of upwards to seven-thousand boxes of files, all by the means of two-wheelers. Fun times.

The project starts here, the files from the Eighties [imagine files here].

We move them to here.

Then we move the files from the Nineties...

to where we had the Eighties.

And then we move the files from oh-six and beyond...

to where we had the Nineties.

This is the path that we are taking in between the Eighties and the Nineties.
w

Another project that I had going on was a little framing on my parents' farm. They built a metal building and part of it will be a lofted living area. My dad and I had the task of setting the I-joists to create the floor of the upper level.

Before.

After from below.

After from the upper level.

This kept my hands warm.

This is actually from when we put the windows and doors in, but so you get an idea of what we are working with.

This is going to take up a lot of blogpage. Oh well. If you've made it this far, brace yourself for the San Valentino's Dia post. Saint Valentine's Day for our non-Spanish speaking friends. you have my love.

Coffeed

2009-02-02T18:06:00.004-06:00

Five years ago I worked at a locally owned coffee shop. I was "let go" after four shifts because I wasn't learning quickly enough. Lesson: I should have gone to Starbucks with their corporate path of destruction and two month training period. Anyway, this semester I am making a conscious effort to like coffee. When I worked at the shop of coffee my drink involved a lot of non-coffee related sweetness. Since I can't justify spending that much with the recession in play, I am just jumping right into the coffee life by ordering plain coffee. That's not to say that I don't put in creamer, though I am avoiding adding sugar. I don't actually drink a lot of caffeine, so it really effects me when I do drink it, therefore I can't really drink any caffeinated beverages after midday. Which means that I can only really get one or two cups of coffee down in a day, which makes for learning to like coffee a slow process. And I don't drink it when I first wake up as that might condition my body to need caffeine, which I'm not down with. But the effort is paying off, I'm starting to like it more and my body isn't going into overdrive everytime I drink it. I suppose the next step is to get my own coffee maker and maybe a bag o' grounds. I know that there are some readers who have a low percentage of coffee in their blood count, so they can go ahead and grant me some advice on such things. I like writing again, I have many thoughts and hopefully I can translate some of them to you on a regular basis again. you have my love.

SP09

2009-01-29T22:02:00.002-06:00

I am now three weeks into this semester, and I feel as though I have no idea what is going on. My theory is that my mind never made it back from Portland. Whatever the case may be, it needs to change fairly swiftly as the first round of tests and projects are already on their way. Here are some of the things that I will be busy with this semester, Spring of oh-nine.

Fundamentals of Human Physiology [with a lab]
As if anatomy weren't enough, we now have to know a) where some body part is, and b) what it does. But more in depth than that, more like 'how does said body part do what it does?' We are currently breaking down the chemical components of the body [amino acids and the like]. This will probably be a very challenging class. And the lab is easy thus far, but rumor has it that we have to draw our own blood. I'm trying not to think of this.

Business Communications
This is the class in which you learn to write resumes and cover letters and be professional and not write bad things about your classes on your blog. This is a very boring class.

Leadership Techniques of Fitness
I like this one. In it we are learning about composing exercise plans and instructing individual exercises. So far the most exciting part of this class was visiting the strength and conditioning coach for all of Iowa State's "Olympic sports", i.e. anything that isn't football. Pretty cool set up. I have a feeling that this is one of the classes where I am supposed to be doing more work, but I can't figure out what to work on.

Human Diseases
This is exactly what it sounds like, and yes, it is awesome. We study diseases, both on a broad level and physiologically. The semester is broken up into chronic diseases and infectious diseases. The chronic diseases are interesting enough, but I am definitely looking forward to the infectious section. I have to fight the urge to ask my professor: "I have a burning question, when are we going to cover STD's?" Also, my professor is six foot five at least, is skin and bones and Indian - and though he doesn't look it one bit he reminds me of Buster Bluth sometimes.

Independent Study
Faithful readers will recall the class in which I worked on a monthly, campus wide wellness newsletter. This semester I am serving as an "experienced" guide to the group doing the newsletter this semester. I have two groups and they are both full of self-motivated people and I feel like I should be doing more, but they're doing a great job anyway.

Library Instruction
I guess I have to learn how to use the library at some point in my ridiculously long academic career. I'm testing out of this tomorrow.

Other Stuff
On top of those classes I am still working about fifteen hours a week, mostly on a massive warehouse project. I'll try to post pictures that attempt to capture the scope of the project at some point soon. I'm currently reading Brave New World and really like it, after which I'm looking to get to The Great Gatsby or Galapagos [Vonnegut]. Next weekend I will be attending a three day seminar that will be the base of getting to my ACSM certifications. Possibly by this summer I'll be certified to be a personal trainer. I'm back to training for two races currently; a) Drake Relays Road Race - the 8k, and Dam to Dam in May. You should really consider doing both of those runs with me. I'm watching LOST; it's my drug of choice. At Trinity Britch played a video game called "Kingdom Hearts", I borrowed it from Mr. Sanchez and am trying to finish all the side quests before I finish up the game. It looks really dorky, but it's a super fun game. And the Wilson house residents are trying our best to make this dump a better place to live in and visit. Speaking of that - Pancake Day, February 24th. I'll make certain plans at a later date, but pencil it in on your schedules. Also, I've joined the latest social networking web 2.0 thing - Twitter. @viswaters if you care to follow my random and rather full life. Yep, that's a lot. Time to cram some sleep into the schedule. you have my love.

Portland oh-nine

2009-01-17T13:11:00.007-06:00

The semester has now begun, putting my travels to an end. I had a great trip out to Portland. It mostly involved relaxing, eating and spending time with friends. I made it to Powell's - the castle of books. I played speed scrabble with my wonderful hosts, Jon and Lynette. Andy, Dave the Brave and I explored Cathedral Park. I met up with my European compatriot Brett. We made the trip to Annie's Donuts. I braved the Washington rains to witness the wedding of a fellow iEHBS [international Evangelical Homiletic Bachelors Society]. Though I celebrated while there, I did my part in mourning by sheering my beard down to something more slightly than stubble. And, as is tradtion, the odds were calculated. And then I had to say my goodbyes, though I hope that my next visit won't take another fifteen months. I survived a wicked day of flights into blizzard conditions. It was a very good trip. For your enjoyment here are the odds and a couple of pictures. you have my love.

To be engaged
Graham 4-1
Bob 6-1
Kate G. 8-1
Travis 8-1
Nate B. 9-1
Brad G. [as requested] 30-1

To have a baby
Gustines' second 2-1
Martins' third 4-1
Grabhers 5-1
Boes' second 10-1
Overbays 12-1
Morrisons 15-1
Gates' third 20-1
Johnsons 20-1
Britchers 25-1
Pai's 30-1

Cathedral Park in North Portland

The "Made in Oregon" sign off of Burnside

It was, it could be

2009-01-04T22:37:00.002-06:00

Oh-eight. It was a decent year. I ran a half-marathon, I completed two semesters of higher education, I grew a great big bushy beard and generally enjoyed life. I didn't read enough, I didn't travel enough, I didn't wash enough dishes. I loved have barbeques and reading on the veranda. I quit smoking, though I was barely smoking at the time. I started drinking tea and coffee on a regular basis. I made some friends, got to know some friends better, reconnected with some old friends. I lost my last grandparent. I began to consider the next step, a possibly epic step. It was a good year, not a top five year, but it was good.

Oh-nine. I can now say that I will graduate next year, I like that. Saying "twenty-ten" seems very futuristic. I hope to run over five-hundred miles during the course of the year. I'm traveling to Portland on Tuesday, my first visit out there since August of oh-seven. I'm considering multiple trips out of the Midwest for later this year. I'm thinking about taking the summer off from school to rest, earn some money and travel. This would push back graduating until August, but I think I'd be okay with that. I would like to start using my free time more productively. I think that it is possible to constructively waste time, I just have yet to prove it yet. Another goal for this year is that I would get my dating game on. If anyone has any idea how that might be accomplished, let me know. My hopes are not high for this year, but perhaps I'm in for a surprise. you have my love.

New year, new book

2008-12-29T22:32:00.003-06:00

I finished two books within the last week. That hasn't happened in a while, so I feel like I should keep the momentum up. Last week I finished Kafka's The Trial and last night I finished Chuck Klosterman's novel Downtown Owl. Once I had finished the book, laid in bed for ten more minutes, thought about just going to bed, I tried to pick out the next book to read. After twenty minutes of looking at my bookcase I just wrote out a list and decided to put the decision up to a vote. I don't think I want to read an epic right now, but maybe the book after this next one. I might try to read on fiction and one non-fiction, but I often struggle to finish both books when I try to do that. So here are my options, I know there are a lot, so don't be overwhelmed - there's no pressure whatsoever. you have my love.

Fiction
River Why - Duncan
As I Lay Dying - Faulkner
Alice in Wonderland - Carroll
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - Joyce
For Whom the Bell Tolls - Hemingway
Franny and Zooey - Salinger
The Road - McCarthy
Brave New World - Huxley
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Kesey

Non-fiction
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Eggers
Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places - Peterson
Knowing God - Packer
Bill Bowerman biography
Ragamuffin Gospel - Brennan Manning
Imperial Ambitions - Chomsky
The Gospel According to America
Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
Life Together - Bonhoeffer

Epics
The Idiot - Dostoevsky
War and Peace - Tolstoy
East of Eden - Steinbeck

A good year for running

2008-12-27T16:11:00.004-06:00

It was a good year in terms of running. I learned a lot, I ran a lot and I performed well. I keep track of training miles and was surprised to find out that I ran 76 times and 325 miles over the course of the year [for an average of four and a quarter miles per run]. And there have been times with huge gaps between runs. I didn't run for a month in late summer. I suppose training for and running a half marathon helped that high mileage. The half marathon was a lot of fun and I'm looking for another one this spring/early summer if you dare to join me. In October I ran the Trinity homecoming five-k, I had a goal of finishing near 24 minutes and amazed myself by running just under 23 minutes, though Graham still kicked my ass. And in November I ran the Living History Farms run and made my way through cold, mud, creeks and hordes of costumed runners. My time wasn't great, but it was a lot of fun, it would have been much better had any of my running buddies joined me. Next year, right?

Speaking of next year, I've been thinking of my running goals for oh-nine. Tentatively I want to run another half marathon and another race in the spring. Maybe a fifteen-k. And then hopefully I won't wuss out over the summer and keep my miles up. Then a couple of five-k's in the fall, plus another shot at the Living History Farms run.

I'm excited for the new year and I'm pretty sure that I can over five hundred miles next year if I stay healthy, motivated and not too busy. It'll be a great year if I do, but even just trying will make it a good year. I'm gonna make a sales pitch here: I used to hate running, I made the decision to start running for health reasons, I started with slow, short distances and grew to love it. Running has become a beautiful release and a way to spend more out in nature. So if you want to get in shape next year buy a good pair of shoes, start slow and with low mileage [as in, less than a mile and don't be afraid to walk], and I hope that you learning to enjoy it as much as I do. I hate selling stuff, but really - running is worth it. you have my love.

Also, don't forget to stretch. Though maybe not as much as Brandon.

Reflections on five years of ambiguity

2008-12-18T19:02:00.003-06:00

It has been five years since I left Trinity, or at least five years since I wrote this. When I left [I fuzzily recall that] I had aspirations of seminary, instead I moved back to Iowa and experienced years of ambiguity, though fun ambiguity. I did go to seminary, and yet the ambiguity remained. Then back to Iowa, some more ambiguity, and then back to undergrad, and bam! less ambiguity. Sorry, I didn't like any of the synonyms for "ambiguity".

These past five years I've had a deep longing within me for a community such as I experienced at Trinity. I found bits and pieces of it in different places; in the small group at Stu and Alan's place, surprisingly at work, with my friends in Portland, with the Barker extended family, with my friends in Ames, and along the way some short resurrections of the community I had at Trinity. Just today there is hope in the air of our upcoming new year's eve party, and yet, it's a shadow of what used to be. Albeit a good shadow.

I may have learned a few things about community in the past five years. At Trinity we didn't really have to try to create a community, it just sort of happened. It was easy because we lived, ate, went to class, etc. together. We couldn't get rid of each other, and all it took was learning to forgive one another. But for the past few years I've learned that most of the time community doesn't just happen, it takes... it takes... it takes... what? What does it take? Maybe something more than what we have. But in the meantime it sure wouldn't hurt to offer up some hard work, some patience and more than a little dying to one's selfishness. But in the end it becomes something that you can't force to happen, it just appears and is goodness. Ambiguity.

In another five years I will be somewhere else and I have aspirations to not be asking these same questions at that point. Not that I will have them figured out, but maybe I will be more content. Five years ago I couldn't imagine what I would be doing now, but today I have a few thoughts on what might be in five years' time. I hope that's a good enough start. you have my love.

Ten Thousand

2008-12-10T10:16:00.003-06:00

I was born ten thousand days ago. I know, it's both weird and awesome. When I discovered that I could calculate such data [and turned nine-thousand days old] I was living in Portland, attempting to discover the meaning of one's mid-twenties. Turning ten-thousand days old I find myself in Ames, attempting to discover the meaning of one's late-twenties. I don't think that there's much difference, other than a thousand days or so. I'm beginning to get the feeling that by the time I hit eleven-thousand days life will make a lot more sense. I look forward to those days, and yet I'm enjoying these days as well. Which is good considering the winter that we're about to go through - I'll need a positive disposition for several months of this frigidity. For celebration's sake I'll give you a sneak peek at my beard. you have my love.

The Contenders

2008-12-05T21:47:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I called a clinic in hopes of setting up a visit, with further hopes of scoring some internship points along the way. It was as nerve-wracking as calling a girl. I left a voicemail but feel confident that I will hear back from them next week. It's a good first step. It would be really nice to find an internship that had the real possibility to turn into a job, so this process of finding an internship takes on a certain degree of seriousness in my little world. And since I'm making progress on this front I thought I would share what cities are in contention as possible internship sites. I have a list of pros and cons elsewhere, but feel as though that would be showing too much of my hand. The list, alphabetically:

Ames
Chicago
Des Moines
Freiburg
Grand Rapids
Kansas City
Minneapolis
New York City
Omaha
Portland

All fine cities. I've [not-very-seriously] thought about opening up bidding, with the most to offer winning my residence. So, let's start the bidding at potentiality of finding a girlfriend. Ready, go! you have my love.

A vegetarian failure

2008-12-02T17:28:00.002-06:00

A couple of months ago I tried to be a temporary vegetarian. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but I thought it would have lasted longer than it did. I set the ground rule of fish products being okay, and I think I made it a week without meat. Then someone brought Korean barbecue to our small group. That was the beginning of the end. For several weeks after that I ate minimal amounts of meat, which I would say makes the experiment somewhat successful. I kept track of what I ate and thought I would share and objectify. you have my love.

Cy's Veggie Burger (B-), at the ISU Memorial Union food court, of course I did apply generous amounts of BBQ sauce to it. Actually I still order this when eating at the MU.
Pizza with onion, mushrooms and banana peppers (B), I get this from Papa John's, so I'm sure if you were to get it somewhere else it would be better. It's an excellent combo of toppings, quite tasty unless you're my faux-girlfriend-emeritus.
Amy's Chili (A), I get the spicy variety as to increase the production of gas. But really, it's very delicious.
Boca Burger (D-), not even Sweet Baby Ray and liberal amounts of his wonderful BBQ could salvage a Boca Burger.
Red beans, rice and salsa (B+), a simple mix for a cheap single college guy, and not pretty tasty to boot.
Not Italian Sausage Sandwich (A), I had this at Java Joe's in downtown Des Moines. It's fantastic and spicy. I wouldn't have been able to tell that it was meatless without the witty name.

Finding the reasons

2008-11-30T16:28:00.002-06:00

I just finished reading through nearly all of my blog posts. Six years worth of posts takes about five hours to read. I realized last night that my writing has, of late, taken a plunge for the worse - both in quantity and quality. I was looking for clues as to the paradigms shifts within my blogging. The first came nearly five years ago when I moved from Trinity to Des Moines and made my writing, in my opinion, quite good. The second happened not too long ago. As I said, this second shift has made things worse. I think that the shift has not yet set in permanently, so I can change it. I won't note what has caused the shift, but I know what it is and I'm not entirely proud of it.

I think that my life might have been more exciting in the golden years of bloggage, and I was glad to write about that excitement. A lot of it had to do with the ambiguity of my life. Maybe that means that my life is currently boring and maybe that's because I have a three-year plan. I can admit to be boring, and there is a desire to change that. I'm working on it.

Many of my posts had a common topic - current infatuations and females in general. I'm far less prone to write out my thoughts on females anymore, that's probably for the best. Though it could make my posts more entertaining.

While reading through those golden years I noticed how many of the comments still made me smile. A large number of comments come from the following people: Jorb, Jess, Kate G., Bradley, Danijo and Stefiny. Most of Brad's comments end with him proposing that we make out. Most of Josh's comments make no sense whatsoever. They're all beautiful.

I hope that in six years I am reading this post and thinking to myself, "You were right to change things up, it definitely shows in your writing. And your hot wife." you have my love.

Survival of the weary

2008-11-21T20:43:00.002-06:00

It's been a tough few weeks. But I made it. I kept my eyes on Thanksgiving break [we get all of next week off] and pushed through one last week of exams, a paper and several quizzes. Last night I stayed up 'til two in the morning finishing out my biomechanics paper. It took me a half hour to finish the last three sentences. I'm not one to sacrifice sleep for homework, but it had to be done. While this week I suffered through academic persecution, last week my family and I suffered the loss of my grandma. I'll write more about her someday soon hopefully, but for now: she was my last living grandparent, she would have been eighty years old on Christmas Day and she hated cold weather. She passed from complications of diabetes and heart disease.

So, it's been a tough few weeks. Honestly, I'm looking forward to just working next week and doing minimal amounts of homework. Also on tap: running seven muddy miles with seventy-five hundred people tomorrow morning, a CG Thanksgiving potluck tomorrow night, hanging out with some folks back on holidays, a Thanksgiving potluck at work, some warehouse duty, a Thanksgiving meal with my parents, looking into some possible internship sites. Well, maybe I've put too much on the schedule for my week off. After a week of pseudoresting I have a week of class, a "dead" week and finals week. Hopefully this week off will allow me the strength to make it through the next three. And then more pseudoresting.

To end on some upbeat news: I turn 10,000 days old in just eighteen more days. If you're in Ames on December tenth, let's get over to 212 and celebrate. And also, thanks for those of you who have been supportive this semester and these past few weeks. I really do appreciate it. you have my love.

Comment (If All Men Are Truly Brothers)

2008-11-04T09:53:00.003-06:00

I voted. And now I'm reading blogs and listening to The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. I thought I would post lyrics to this song, the song that I was listening to in the car before and after I voted. Available on Wilco's Kicking Television: Live in Chicago (written by Charles Wright). you have my love.

Watch out for your friends
Well, they may lose in the end
Sometimes they try to make you sin
But what is a man without a friend?

We all live within a game
The word excuse has many names
Where true friends really come
You can't afford to lose one

If all men were truly brothers
Why then, do we hurt one another?
Love and peace from ocean to ocean
Somebody please, second my emotion

All men were born to be free, yeah
What about you? And what about me?
This world is filled with hate, there's nothing left
If you enslave me, you'll never rescue yourself

Well, jealousy as I recall
Has always been man's hardest fall
To conquer fear, that's quite a quest
Until we do never rest

A child was born yesterday
Nothing but an innocent babe
Someone sowed a bitter seed
How could he grow but a bitter weed?

Society, how can you teach (I wanna know)
If you dont practice what you preach?
(That's right)

If all me where truly brothers
Why then, can't we love one another?
Love and peace from ocean to ocean
Somebody please, second my emotion

All men were born to be free
What about you? And what about me?
This world is filled with hate, there's nothing left
If you enslave me, you'll only hurt yourself

Hey you, over there, I want to know why you left
With all your riches and your fancy things,
Can you tell me how many friends
Can you truly say you have?

Next Tuesday

2008-10-28T21:11:00.004-05:00

This is the closest that I will get to talking about politics, so pay attention if you care to. I'm going to a movie on the night of the election, just like four years ago [I'm thinking of making it a tradition]. I won't be able to stand listening to people discuss the numbers that will appear. I'm pretty tired of everyone gathering their proverbial arms in an attempt to trample other people's views. Friendship is stronger than party lines. Being found in Christ is stronger than friendship. It's a democracy, get over the fact that some people see the role of government differently than you. Instead of discussing what is wrong with the other guy/gal/party, try to have a conversation about what democracy, government, socialism, etc. really mean - be constructive!! Trust in the Kingdom of God, not in America.

And if you want to go see a movie next Tuesday evening, give me a call. you have my love (if not my vote).

Embrace your Autumnal self

2008-10-16T21:35:00.002-05:00

I should be writing a paper on the relationships between stride length, tibial impact and heart rate but I'm writing a blog post instead, so count yourself blessed. Maybe. Set your brain to shuffle. Apple cider is in my top fifty of the world's greatest inventions, if only because it led to apple cider donuts. Intervals are some of my hardest runs, but tend to be some of my favorite runs too. I'm training for the largest cross country race in the States. Seven miles of snow, mud and thousands of other people. Sounds delightful. I ran my fastest fiveK at Trinity's homecoming, I ran so fast that I really thought I was going to hurl at the end of the race. But I didn't. I went mostly vegetarian a week and a half ago, and I am still with it. I say "mostly" because I can't be rude when I go to some one's house to eat and they serve delicious Korean barbecue, you just can't turn that down. Right? And I'm allowing seafood for protein and taste purposes. I saw Sleeping at Last the other night. They didn't play "Thanks for the Memories," but I guess playing ten year old songs just doesn't sell in this scene. I named this beard, and will unveil it in due time. When this semester is over I will throw myself a party. Also, regarding the vegetarian thing - I have so much gas, is that normal? I'm keeping tabs on what meat-free meals are good and which are awful, for a possible future post. I decided to give up on a certain female the other night. Though I'm normally in favor of trying harder, this is for the best - for the sake of goodness and in the face of safety. Our sink is unclogged, our live-ins are out and the house will be mostly empty this weekend. I wish I could be around to enjoy it. My Autumnal soundtrack consists of tunes played by the following bands/artists: Damien Jurado, Denison Witmer, The River Bends, Ryan Adams/The Cardinals, Bellwether, Alberta Cross, and Fleet Foxes. One thing that I really love about this drafty house is that my bed is cold when I go to bed. I absolutely love a cold bed and cocooning in order to get warm. Okay. Go outside and embrace the season before it becomes the bitter ex-girlfriend of a winter. you have my love.

FA08

2008-09-27T16:23:00.005-05:00

I have plenty of reasons for not posting that often anymore. The main reason is that I have less to write about. Well, I might have the same amount of things going on in my life as before, but I choose to write less often. When I look back on my old posts there are a lot that could be done without; a lot of ranting that was unnecessary, so why not just post that which I think is actually important. I usually have one or two blog ideas written in my planner in the course of a week, but selectivity counts most of those out. Okay, I'm done qualifying this post, on to the substance.

Another reason I don't blog that often is that this semester is a rough one. I'm only taking four classes [thirteen credits], but that doesn't paint the whole picture. Here's a class by class breakdown for you:

Fundamentals of Human Anatomy
Typically anatomy class. Three hours of lecture, three hours in the lab a week. We're currently on the skeletal system, moving towards muscles. We start dissection next week [cats, sorry mom], so that should be interesting. It's a lot of learning, memorizing and labeling very small parts of the human body. I know where your Sella Turcica is, and you probably don't.

Biomechanics
This class seems more like a physics class in which all the examples are given in the context of human movement. There's a lot of trig and a fair amount of stats, but the labs are really cool. The kinesiology department has an amazing system that uses eight cameras that capture movement using reflective markers, capturing one hundred and sixty frames per second. This allows us to study movement [such as jump height and jump velocity] very, very accurately. It's pretty cool, except for all the math.

Health Promotion in the Workplace
This class actually serves as the health promotion department for Iowa State. We're divided into eight groups, some working on setting up health screenings, some working on a pedometer/walking challenge, and so on. My group is the newsletter group, we're in charge of coming up with a monthly theme [October's theme is women's health], writing articles and getting it ready to go out to all of the faculty and staff. I offered myself to be the editor and I have mixed feelings towards that decision. I think that in my group I am probably the best choice for that position, but on the other hand, it sucks. Once the articles are written everything is pretty much up to me until it gets handed in to our group supervisor. I suppose that it's a good learning opportunity in leadership and whatnot, but it's not entirely my cup o' tea. So if you don't hear from me this week it's because I'm working* hard on the October copy of "Wellness Works" - and no, I didn't get to name it.

Management of Health and Fitness Facilities
I'm not entirely fond of this class, but it isn't awful. It's basically a business class framed in the fitness industry. And since I hope to be in more of a clinical setting [hospital rather than health club] it doesn't suit me that well. This past week we discussed sales, and I would do hard labor any day over sales. Anyway. The main project in this class is a business proposal, and I have already decided that my group is screwed. I choose to not take up the leader-role in this group, as I already have the editor mantle, and I'm really glad I made that choice. We just don't seem to have a good focus yet, and when we meet our discussion is all over the place and rarely gets settled. I'll be happy when that project is done and dead.

So there you have it. And then work. And then a couple of small groups. And dinner with the parents one night a week. And fitting football, The Office, 30 Rock and Heroes in there. And I'm mostly full. I'm wasting a lot of time too, and have decided to try to aim for a more constructive use of my free time, i.e. reading, origami, working out, doing the work for Bible study, writing blogs, etc. It could happen [insert Wayne Campbell quote here]. Also, I could make more time for sleep, like right now. you have my love.

* At first I misspelled "working" as "woring" and spell checker suggested "whoring", which I thought wasn't too far from the truth, but not entirely. Whatever, it's funny. Laugh.

Unfolding

2008-09-09T15:49:00.002-05:00

It happens every once in a while, though more than I'd like to admit. I'll notice that I'm doing it again, in public, without even realizing that it was occurring. I do it in class, in line for a salad, at Church, when I'm talking with strangers, when I'm talking with friends. I notice other people doing it as well, and most folks don't seem to be bothered by it. Not me, I'm out to change my ways, make me a new man and all that. So I slowly uncross my arms from in front of my chest and place them in my pockets or at my sides. And if I'm feeling bold I'll even put my hands in my back pockets. I don't need to be so defensive in this world if I want to show it love, and I'm trying to start with my non-verbal cues. This doesn't mean that my boycott of smiling in public has come to an end though. That will come with time and a lot more work. you have my love.

Summer's end

2008-08-19T17:58:00.004-05:00

I did indeed survive my trip to the mountains. There are some pictures posted below of our trip to Southern Colorado. It was a great time of hiking and fishing, though I didn't actually catch any fish. We camped at eleven thousand five hundred feet and made it up to twelve thousand on a crazy hike that ended with us setting up camp in the dark and exhausted to the point of nauseousness. Fun times. Anyway, it was beautiful country and my dad and I got along almost the whole time, so I consider it a successful trip.

The week after getting back I spent enjoying the company of some wonderful Portlanders, Jon and Lynette. And their being around was cause for being around several other folks that I hadn't seen in quite a while. It was nice because it has seemed like June and July were fairly unsocial months for me. And so to return to a number of lunches and dinners and sand volleyball games and grill outs left me a little worn out, but I was delighted to spend time with such great friends.

I've spent the past few weeks watching the Olympics. One night I had to tell myself that as fascinating as badminton is, I don't need to be watching it after midnight when I should be at work in eight hours. I know that Phelps, the gymnastics events and Usain Bolt are the big stories, but I've been trying, and failing, to get my fix of distance running. I saw the women's marathon, but missed the ten-k's, and the steeplechases. I was hoping that Famiglietti would pull off a miracle in the men's steeplechase, but to no avail. Now I can only hope that Ryan Hall pulls off the upset in the men's marathon, even though I'll be cheering much harder for Brain Sell. And with watching all of this running, I have been anticipating a return to running myself. Soon I think, soon.

With the end of summer I am getting ready for school once again. I have hope that this will be a very good year, academically, socially, spiritually, etc. And perhaps I will have time for earning a bare amount of cash to live off of. And I'll just go ahead and enhance my schedule by staying single this semester. Probably. Anyway, this fall I'm taking the following classes: anatomy, biomechanics, worksite health promotion, and management of health-fitness programs and facilities. It should be quite the interesting class load. Alright, the Olympics beckon, you have my love.

In between days

2008-07-30T23:33:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm twentyseven now. And I feel older. I feel like I should probably be in bed, but I know that if I don't write this now, I won't until I get back from the mountains.

First, the year behind me. Someone asked me how twentysix was, and I replied that my year was atypical. In a way it was a life reboot. I moved [again], started school [again] and grafted myself into a new group of people [again]. I suppose the mid to late twenties is full of mini-reboots, I just chose to do several at once. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but I managed to survive. I did a lot though: got great grades, ran a lot, ran a half-marathon, made it through a really cold winter, made it through the floods, and managed to avoid girls altogether.

Second, the day. I had a great birthday. The night before I went with my family to a seafood place and got my mom to try sushi, which she liked - of course. Then, continuing the [not really] theme, I went fishing with my dad and we caught a ton of crappies [calico bass]. That evening I went out with a bunch of friends for dinner and drinks, and even won a round of darts. It was nice to see a bunch of people and get a ton of great messages [thanks!!!].

Third, the next year. Twentyseven should be alright. A lot of school, more hanging out with friends, more girl-avoidance [maybe]. I'm excited to return to my studies, and hope to have a more definitive idea of what is next by this time next year. I'm planning several trips: Portland in January, NYC for spring break and possibly working on a feature film next June [hep!]. It has potential, but every year does, right?

Fourth, the next week. My dad and I are leaving for Colorado on Saturday. We're going to a place near Platoro, to a lake where the Navajos used to summer. It will be a week of hiking, fishing and relaxing. I'm quite excited about it. And it has given me an excuse to bulk up my outdoors equipment supplies. I now own some Chacos. Sweet.

Fifth, the next few minutes. I'm going to bed so I can be a decent fill-in boss tomorrow. I've made it three days without yelling at anyone and I might be able to make it the full week, as long as I get some sleep tonight. Thanks again to those who took part in my birthday in any means, it means a lot to me. you have my love.

Altered meme

2008-07-17T15:25:00.004-05:00

What does "meme" even mean? I don't know, but I'll use it as an excuse to post before I turn another year older. I had a pint beforehand to loosen my typing fingers, so I hope this goes well. I was "tagged" by Monica, and am supposed to share seven facts about myself and "tag" seven people to do the same - which I won't do. Also, I'll use these seven facts as a way of communicating what I've been up to lately.

1. I finish summer school tomorrow. Five credits and a GPA boost, I can't complain, but it will be nice to have the fullness of my days to... work.

2. I turn twenty-seven on Friday. Expect a blog about that. It seems like such a big number.

3. I am going to Colorado in August with my dad. It should be a really good time. We'll be packing in [riding horses] and hiking out, in between: trout fishing, hitting up a thirteener [we can't all be Jason Bowden], relaxing and enjoying time with my pops.

4. I have been riding my bike a lot this summer and have really enjoyed it. I mean, saving money, saving the enviroment and burning calories? Seriously high quality. One problem I have though. As a noob biker I notice that a lot of other bikers give a horrible name to biking. They are all about cars sharing the road, right? But they don't give a crap for following the rules of the road. Case in point: nearly getting hit by other bikers who were ignoring a stop sign. Real cool. No wonder most drivers hate bikers. Also, if there is a bike path next to the road on which you are riding your bike, you are an idiot.

5. This is getting tough. Umm.. Oh, I finished A Tale of Two Cities. The last two hundred pages or so were really good, I wish I had gotten to that point sooner. Now reading As I Lay Dying. Also reread the last Harry Potter book somewhere in there, it's still wonderful.

6. I've been running here and there. My IT band on the left knee is still giving me fits. Actually it's been pissing me off slash depressing me quite a bit. It sucks to have several years of working towards being a distance runner just kind of dwindle away because of some injury that is difficult to do anything about. I'm trying different things, but have resigned to the fact that if they don't work out I'll just do some other endurance sport [biking, hiking, cross country skiing, etc.].

7. Don't judge me, but I've gone and upgraded my nerdery. Big time. I started playing World of Warcraft. Let me explain. It has been a really boring summer; people haven't been around, it's really hot out, my knee has been hurting. I actually thought I might be getting depressed and then I realized that I had just been really bored [similar to Wayne Campbell's scare with mono]. And then some friends were playing it and I thought it looked interesting and I gave it a shot and now I like it. Don't judge me. If you're looking to blame anyone you can primarily blame Josh J. and Kevin, and secondarily blame Meister Sanchez and the Koz [for introducing me to RPG's].

Anyway, that's what is going on. Feel free to enter into my life and maybe we'll have a real-life adventure. I would like that. Fer realz. you have my love.

Lovely, lovely madness

2008-07-05T23:24:00.004-05:00

I saw The Flaming Lips in concert last night, and it was a beautiful madness. Despite the bros toking up right next to me, the old drunk guy trying to fall over on me and having little to no room to stand, I had a blast!! So much confetti, huge balloons, crazy video screens, teletubbies, costumed people, making friends with those around me and then dancing and sweating my heart out with them [and James!]. I didn't know many of their songs, but that didn't stop me from having a great time - and that must be the definition of a great show, right? I don't normally post lyrics, but it was wonderfully to sing this song with thousands of people last night, so enjoy. you have my love.

Do you Realize?
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize?

Ten years ago, part two

2008-07-01T19:14:00.005-05:00

It was ten years ago today that I sat down with my friend Karen and heard the Gospel. I can't say that I understood it, or that I truly understand it in its fullness today, but that day I chose to follow Jesus. Ten years, wow...

It seems as though a lifetime has passed since then: finishing high school, bouncing around, finding myself in the community of 104, bouncing around some more, Portland and now relearning community life again here in Ames. I've come so far and yet I'm still much like the sixteen year old version of me. It's lovely to think about where I was back then, what is happening in my life now, and what could come to be in my life someday. God is good.

For the past four years I've felt as though I was in the proverbial desert of life and faith - maybe that's what being in your mid twenties is all about. Something changed in Portland, and I could sense that my time in the desert was coming to a close. Beyond were mountains, and in those mountains lie goodness and hardship and certainly that is coming to fruition. There is goodness here in the communities that I am part of, and there are difficulties, both both are found here and in the near future. Nearly everyday I find myself glad to be where I am, both figuratively and physically. The other days? I'm wishing to be physically in the mountains.

What I've been learning: From conversations started in Portland and further developed in Ames I've been coming towards a "radical" step in my faith. The concept within this step is the moving away from not doing and towards doing. Rather than dwelling on what I shouldn't be doing, or shouldn't have done, attempting to focus on the actions reflecting the following of Christ. I use the word "attempting" because it is not an easy task. For some nine years I have been in the do not mind set [which at times is an appropriate mind set] and those sorts of patterns are not easily broken. It certainly is an interesting juncture in my journey.

It's been a good ten years, and I can only hope to say the same thing a decade from now. God, thank you for loving me, for caring about this world, for letting us participate in your love - I love you, though I wish I could live it more clearly. Friends that I call family, thank you for helping me stay on the path of goodness and non-safety. I love you all,

Travis

Ten years ago, part one

2008-06-24T21:35:00.003-05:00

The other day I stopped by the place of my first employment, the Big K[mart]. I was sixteen when my parents decided that I needed a job, so I applied at numerous big box stores [was really hoping for Best Buy]. The Big K had just opened [December of ninety-seven] and was hiring a ton of people, perhaps too many people. I was immediately hired as a cashier, but I spent the first few months of work rounding up shopping carts in the snow, mopping up dropped slushies and cleaning restrooms. It sucked. I managed to survive the February-retail-slowdown-cuts and get placed on a register. I lasted there most of that year, and ended up chatting with the toy and seasonal manager who talked me into working for her.

Working in the toy department may sound like some joyous thing to some of you, but I can assure you that it isn't. Consider that hordes of children are wandering through the aisles all hours of the day, picking up toy after toy and putting them down where they don't belong. Not to mention adults who are doing the same, especially in regards to collectibles such as Hot Wheels. In terms of retail, it's a fairly difficult department to keep up with.

I ended up staying at the Big K, and in that department, off and on until the summer of two-K. I grew fairly close to my manager, and together we kept the toy department running smoothly - we worked remarkably well as a team. In my first full year of employment, ninety-eight, I was awarded part-time employee of the year. I'm still amazed by that, and still think it to be quite an accomplishment considering that I was just seventeen. I developed a lot of people skills there, not to mention learning to endure in frustrating work environments [retail is not for everyone]. I understand what it's like in that sort of place, and that's partly why I treat retail workers kindly, because I know how tough it can be and how they are often treated quite poorly.

Thinking about this brought back a lot of memories and feelings. It provoked this thought, which I shall leave you with: I'm not sure that I will ever truly feel like an adult while living so near to where I have grown up. Do you resonate with that? Do you disagree? Please, discuss. you have my love.

The track of a storm

2008-06-16T22:23:00.010-05:00

Since I've stopped posting on xanga I've missed updating my "currently..." list, so I thought I would dedicate a post to what I have been listening to, reading, etc. Enjoy.

Reading
- A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens, I've spent way too long on this book, I'm hoping to finish it within the next few weeks. I just got to the last third of the book, so my hopes should be fulfilled. Yeah?
- next? Maybe the Bowerman biography, or perhaps the Alice in Wonderland books.

Listening to
- Mason Jennings, In the Ever. I really like this album, good folk, fun songs.
- My Morning Jacket, Evil Urges. Also an album that I really like. Diverse songs, I feel like I'm listening to the Allman Brothers on some songs, I've had to make myself take a break from it this past week.
- Beirut, Gulag Orkestar and The Flying Club Cup. When I first heard this at a friend's house I thought it was Andrew Bird. Not exactly Bird, but still very good music.
- The New Pornographers, Twin Cinema and The Challengers. When I get bored listening to folkier music I plug this or Vampire Weekend in. Quality indie pop rock.
- Vampire Weekend. Also quality indie pop rock, I could listen to the first six songs all weekend long.
- The Current, a Minnesota Public Radio station that plays a variety of indie rock, and you get to listen to it live via the world wide interweb. My only qualm is that I can't listen to it in my car.

Watching
- Bella. I was told that it was a "chick flick", not so. A touching story, told really well, filmed really well and acted really well.
- Eagle vs. Shark. You have to get past the Napoleon Dynamitesque characters, and when you do you find a good film and a sweet story. Unlike NapDyn you come to understand, to some degree, why the characters act the way they do.
- The Snuggler @ Adult Swim video [and part two]. Watch it and laugh. Also search the videos for "Dr Steve" dummy!
- The Euro Cup. Man, Porto blew it. I think the Netherlands have the best chance now.

Playing
- Perfect Dark. We busted out the N64, it's old skool fun.
- Mario Kart on N64.
- Super Smash Bros. on N64. I never really played this game until lately, it mostly consists of me being Pikachu and being annoying to the guys who are actually good at the game.

That's it. Let me know what you've been listening to, reading, etc. Also, for those that are keeping track: I ran a little over four miles this morning and my knee feels fine. Let's hope it stays that way. you have my love.

The Weez

2008-06-15T21:09:00.003-05:00

I'll admit it, I bought the new Weezer album. I've bought all of their albums but the Green album, a copy of which was given to me. And I have to say that I'm fairly disappointed with the Red album. The first four or five songs are fun and decent, but the rest of the album is... odd? Something like that. After listening to it a few times I decided to listen to Pinkerton instead. After five or so listens to that album over the next few days, I decided that after years of loving Pinkerton it was time to name it as one of my top five albums. It's a great, great album, musically, lyrically, it's full of raw emotions and there are fun songs and sad songs. And it truly is sexual frustration converted into musical form. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but it's true.

In listening to both albums, as well as bits of Green and Blue, I developed a bit of a theory regarding Weezer. If you aren't aware of the history of their albums, it is thus: Blue was hugely popular and put them on the map - pop rock at it's best, Pinkerton is waaay different and was immediately criticized and has sold very poorly, but eventually it was embraced as a classic [see Rolling Stone's flipflop on it], Green was a return to pop rock and decently, Maladroit, Make Believe and the Red album have been given increasingly worsening reviews.

My theory: Rivers Cuomo poured a lot of raw emotion into Pinkerton, and it was immediately rejected by everyone who expected something much more like the Blue album. After that Rivers went into depression, the band barely stuck together, and the bassist left the band. Is it any wonder that they returned to the world of pop rock and, seemingly, have left all depth and emotion out of all albums since then? It's like someone getting left at the alter and then never taking another relationship seriously. And after Pinkerton was rightfully embraced as the great album that it is, many people want that raw emotion in their albums, but the band, being scared to be rejected again, refuses to comply. Who knows, maybe we'll see some brilliance in the latter Weezer albums years from now. But until then I accept their reluctance and will continue to love Pinkerton.

Weezer-talk aside, life is good. I passed my management class with flying colors, and my second summer class starts tomorrow. I've managed to avoid the floods and tornadoes that have taken up residence in Iowa, though I'm still hoping that the warehouse is somehow destroyed by some natural disaster [though not while I'm in it]. I've been running here and there, but still feeling knee pain - I'm hoping that changes soon. I went to the NCAA track and field championships, which was awesome, so much fun. I can't wait until the twenty-ten USA track and field championships. That will kick ass. Also, watched the movie "Eagle vs. Shark" today, and loved it. Go rent it, right after you but a copy of Pinkerton. you have my love.

Bike Gang

2008-06-03T20:33:00.004-05:00

As noted in the previous post, here are the lyrics to my spontaneous song I sing when riding bikes with my roommates. The song is loosely to the tune of the "McGruber" theme song.

look out we're coming down the street
maybe running a red light
bike gang
we're gonna steal your girlfriend
or maybe talk about the Bible
bike gang
we're gonna race each to Steve's house
and then complain about being all sweaty
bike gang
why don't you come on over later
we'll watch a movie on cable
bike gang
if you don't want to, that's cool
we'll just plant a mother f----n' garden
bike gang!!

Summah

2008-06-03T20:19:00.003-05:00

Afternoons on the veranda [thanks faux gf] with some sweet tea and some friends, maybe a little grilling out, some yard games, yeah, summer is back on my good list - for now. Come August with your humidity and death heat, and summer may be back on the outs. But let us consider the goodness that is in the now. Open windows are just as qualified as air conditioners, as long as it isn't raining and raining and raining, which happens here and there [but mostly here]. We ride bikes to our Monday night Bible study and I sing a song about our bike gang [lyrics forthcoming]. My first summer class isn't terrible, and I'm actually doing really well in it, so that's good. And I've been able to get up early and enjoy the summer mornings whilst running just a little bit.

Speaking of that - I did indeed finish my half-marathon, and with a better time [2:03] than I expected [2:10]. Much thanks to all of you who encouraged me in the days leading up the race!! I felt great as I finished, and then a half hour later the bottom fell out of my legs, figuratively speaking. My fascia lata [IT band] has been sore, but is getting better and I have resumed some light running. I now know what an actual big race is like, and so in October, in Grand Rapids, with a beard and some friends I am hoping to do much better - I have four and a half months to get on it.

A group of us went to Parkersburg this past weekend, and it was astouding to see such destruction [an F5 tornado crushed the South side of the town]. As my friend Kevin and I surveyed the damage he noted that "it's just wind", but how fierce a wind. We didn't do much, but I'm glad we went, and we might set up an ongoing realtionship with the family that we helped. What else? Yeah, that's all I have for now. you have my love.

5542

2008-05-22T20:56:00.001-05:00

I'm ready. At least I think I'm ready. On Sunday I'll be running my first half-marathon. For those of you who have no idea what that means, I'll be running thirteen miles with a bunch of other people. Tomorrow I'll head up to Madison, Wisconsin [trying not to silently berate Wisconsin drivers] and join forces with the Grabhers and the Britchers. We were all going to run the half-marathon, but some people didn't get the training in [slackers! Just kidding. Kind of.]. Regardless it will be a lot of fun to run with my friends [they're doing the quarter-marathon] and spend a weekend with them. The marathon festivities coincides with the World's Largest Braaaat fest. So I've been trying to get people to eat as many brats as I run miles. No one has taken me up on it yet. Yet. We will also be taking in a showing of the new Indiana Jones flick.

The race. I'm excited and nervous in a way that I haven't been for a long time. I'm not running a fast race, mostly because I know my limitations, and I know what I can run and what I can't. I'm planning on ten minute miles, finishing in a little over two hours. Part of my limitations is that I've had a sore back for the past two weeks, and have gone really easy on it, which was not in the plans. Looking back on the one hundred and seventy five or so miles that I've run this year so far in training for this, I can tell you what I did wrong, what I should have done, what I can do next time, but I'm trying to concentrate on what is before me. And trying not to think about what comes afterwards - a summer of morning runs with several key changes in my training [which I'm really looking forward to - a little more room for fun]. If you want quick news on the race check my facebook on Sunday, I'll get to it sometime after the race. In the meantime I have to study for a management test - so it goes. you have my love.

Fourteen down, four to go

2008-05-11T14:57:00.001-05:00

This past Friday I finished my fourteenth semester of higher education, not counting summer internships. You think I would be done by now, but I have four semesters to go, not counting summer classes. Three more semesters in the classroom, one in an internship. I don't know, maybe I'll go to Med School afterwards. Just kidding.

As many of you can imagine, going back to school is a bit scary, I mean, what if I would have ended up hating my field? What if I still didn't know what the hell I was going to do after this? Alas, fear not, I have good news. I love my field, and I can't wait to actually get into it. Somehow I went from being a barely active slacker some five years ago to increasingly enjoying exercising [except on days like today when my legs felt like crap, but I ran six miles anyway] and desiring to instruct and help people live healthy lives. What I am working towards is basically being a personal trainer in a clinical [hospital] setting, hopefully working with obese patients, perhaps in preparation for gastric bypass surgery.

My life has been... good. Yes, crazy but good. I ran a ton this semester and am running the Madison half-marathon in two weeks and will then eat at the world's largest bratwurst fest. Hep! So I'm not exactly the picture of health but I'm getting there. I eat a ton more vegetables and fruits, but still indulge in cheeseburgers, pizza and ice cream - just in less quantities as before. Sometimes.

I've been part of three pretty awesome communities. One, the Wilson House, where I live. I struggled to regain an attitude of community living for a while, but this past month has revealed that we, as a house, are making progress. Two, a guy's Bible study on Monday nights. It's been a hectic past few months, but we're just starting to get into the former prophets, which is one of my favorite parts of the Bible, so it'll be dope. Yep. Three, a connection group. This group meets Saturday nights after the evening service, and we eat and then talk about the sermon. I thought that I would hate not having my Saturday nights, but I haven't really missed them yet. Our discussions regularly go until eleven, and no one seems to mind much. It's great.

Summer preview: I have a week off, which basically means I get to work fulltime for a week. Then I start summer classes - Intro to Management and then Physical Fitness and Conditioning. You might be able to guess which one I am more excited about taking. These are morning classes, so I hope to get up beforehand and run or lift, clean up and eat, go to class, eat, work, eat, rest, sleep, repeat. Classes conveniently end the day before my birthday, as Kevin Malone would say: "nice". Then a short holiday to a locale undecided, though I'm pretty sure I know where I'll be headed. Then a month of work and the fall semester begins. But aside from all that, I think that this summer will be full of house-cleaning, reading, BBQ's, sand volleyball, and shpadoinkle days in general. And probably more blogging. That's all for now. you have my love.

Fruits and veggies

2008-04-13T22:47:00.000-05:00

For one of my classes we had to choose an aspect of our personal health to "work on". Some people are working on quitting smoking, others on exercising more, that sort of thing. When I went through the assessment the only thing that I noticed was really off in my health was a large lack of fruits and vegetables. Supposedly I should eat four fruits and five vegetables a day. This did not sound difficult when I began, but I was very wrong.

Today is the last day of my project. For the past few days I have failed miserably [one and three, two and four]. I am tired of eating fruits and vegetables, even though I gained an appreciation for them these past six weeks. As I am writing this I am munching on some baby carrots and drinking some V8 Splash, and I won't reach my goal for the day.

Here's what I've learned. Fruits are easy. One or two at breakfast, a couple during the day to snack on. Easy. Getting enough veggies on the other hand, is quite the task. Think about it. Rarely does one eat any vegetables for breakfast. If I'm lucky I can get a salad for lunch with maybe three veggie servings, but say I only get one serving of veggies at lunch, that means I need to have three or four at dinner. One trick is the V8 Splash, as it's one serving of both fruits and veggies. Regardless, it's a challenge. And now that it is over, I will probably consider three servings of each a day a pretty decent amount.

On a positive note, I did eat and learn to enjoy some new foods, including: artichokes [thanks to Steph], oranges, tangelos and mangos. It all sounds very tropical, but let's be honest, it hasn't helped winter die at all. I thought my beard would be sacrifice enough, but apparently winter wants to see what May is like. However, I've heard that today was the last day of coldness, so I'm holding on to that rumour. Tightly. you have my love.

Ocho

2008-04-08T19:52:00.019-05:00

Click for a better pic.

1. Downed trees, had to hurdle over them.
2. Girl walking dog, I note that
her plates are from Oregon.
3. The Hill.
4. Girl from Oregon
again, I chickened out, didn't talk to her and kept running.
5. Nearly
turned my ankle. Stupid stick.
6. Had to poop. Didn't.
7. Had to poop. Did.
8. The stairs.
9. Strange boggy, mud pit. Mostly avoided.
10. Say hello to the Saldanha house and finish up with my eight miles.

deBearding

2008-04-06T21:09:00.005-05:00

depression

anger

bargaining

denial

acceptance

And now I'm without a beard, though with chops and a patch del soul. Chances are good that most of you have never seen my chin without a significant amount of facial hair on it. I haven't clear cut the goatee region since summer of oh-two, so I figured it could use some sunlight and fresh air. Also, please be excited because I have multiple posts on my mind, thus attempting to bring this blog out of impending recession. you have my love.

Prophets, heroes, martyrs and good men [part one]

2008-04-03T19:21:00.004-05:00

1/15/1929 - 4/4/1968, thirty-nine years old

"Whenever the Church, consciously or unconsciously, caters to one class it loses the spiritual force of the 'whosoever will, let him come' doctrine, and is in danger of becoming little more than a social club within a thin veneer of religiosity." - MLK jr., in his autobiography.

Obviously there are many amazing quotes from this man, but this one is dear to me. It reminds me of his love for the Church. What he did was more than call for equality; he proclaimed the Kingdom of God, like the prophets of old.

oMg, SPrinG BrEaK!>!!%!?!!@

2008-03-24T15:27:00.002-05:00

Dude, bro, spring break. Sorry, I can't help from imitating my classmates. So many beers. Sorry, I'm trying. Maybe I should just post some pictures, that way I won't be tempted to.. oMg!~ pictures??!

Brandon M., Brandon B. and I at the Bean in Chicago on Saint Patrick's Day. We're releasing our first hardcore album soon, stay tuned for details.

Okay, I suppose this is kind of a typical spring break picture. Except instead of Miller Lite we're drinking Bushmill's Ten-Year. And I liked it more than I expected.

I procured some new trail shoes and proceeded to test them out on a trail along the river. It was muddy and at one point I hopped around beached ice floats.

On this bracket I still have all my elite eights. But it's pretty ugly.

And lastly, I figured I needed a spring break project, so I did what I could and attempted to grow a mustache. It's also pretty ugly. I promise to shave it off before your birthday.

Not pictured: Britcher having me do a workout to near-barfing, eating artichoke hearts out of a can, sushi, seeing Riddell and Graham, having not-falafel with Heidi, working thirty some hours - throwing boxes down the stairs, speed scrabble at Olde Main, sweet drama at Cornerstone, running six miles at nine in the p.m., an abundent amount of vegetables and the [hopefully] last snow of this everlong winter. It was a good'n, now back to work, er, school and work. you have my love.

This wasn't my intent

2008-03-21T22:48:00.003-05:00

I've gone and done it; I've become the type of friend that I hate. We used to be really good friends, like the hangout everyday sort of friend. And I'm not sure how it came to this, but I was retracing the steps in my mind over this past week. I started working, and then school, and then working out. But it was before then really. And it wasn't any one thing, but just a busyness that kept us from catching up. And then I began ignoring his phone calls, at first just meaning to call him back later, but I would forget and so it would go. I email every once in a while, but short When chatting with other people I'm always quick to mention a story or two about us from the "good times", and I suppose it makes me miss that connection. And I guess that's why I'm writing this, and it maybe it will seem cheesy to me later, but when I was thinking about it today it was really real for me. So, I'm sorry Jesus, I've been a shitty friend lately, but I want you to know that I still love you, and I'm really thankful that you still love me.

Yours truly,
Travis

Rock, chalk, choke

2008-03-19T22:41:00.001-05:00

Dear Jayhawks,
Congratulations on a number one seed two years in a row. Let me tell you, I think you have a chance to do really well this year; as much as I like the Hoyas, they tend to play slop in big games, and you can take them. You can take Vandy too, but don't overlook them. Which brings me to the point of this letter. In the past I've put some trust in you, and you've let me down. Big time. Do you remember oh-five? Bucknell. I do believe that I had you as a final four team in oh-six, and then you lost to Bradley in the first round. And I'm pretty sure that Bradley is just a dental school [have not fact checked this]. Everyone I've been talking to is nervous, worrying that you've become choke-prone. But I'm going out on a limb again this year, because I trust you. I'm not asking you to win any championships, I'm just asking you to lose to North Carolina in the Final Four. That's still great though, right? Like, third place or something. That would be great for KU, just great. So get on out there Super-Nintendo Chalmers and other athletic type people and don't choke.

Much obliged,
Travis

p.s. If you could see to it that Arizona beats Duke, that would be ever appreciated.

The elite

2008-03-14T21:45:00.001-05:00

If you know me, you know that I don't really like basketball [in my opinion it sides too much with the offensive side of the game - fouls are called to easily]. But, I love, LOVE this time of year for college basketball. I think that the tournament might be the best sporting event in all the US of A [with perhaps only the World Cup beating it out worldwide]. So with that said, here are my picks for the elite eight [dependant on their regions]: North Carolina, Tennessee, Memphis, Stanford, USC, Georgetown, UConn, and Duke. Hopefully [for me, not Josh] it comes down to North Carolina and Tennessee, though I'm pulling for Drake to make a push deep into the tourney. Feel free to come over and watch some of the games with me. Hep!

How to surprise me

2008-03-11T20:27:00.003-05:00

Several weeks ago I had a smile brought to my face when I found out that a couple of friends of mine threw each other surprise birthdays. For each other. Without knowing it. Now of course it wasn't the same night [which would have been incredible], but it was great to see them when they realized what was happening. Did I mention that they've been married to each other for four months or so. It was pretty funny.

Chris was slightly surprised, but he had some sort of intuition that something was going on. One week later [Chris had planned her party before he knew of his own] Katie was quite surprised. To date there have been two attempts to surprise me. The first was on my eighteenth birthday, whilst in Monterrey, Mexico on a trip with the youth group. My dear friend Monica, who at the time was really more of an acquaintance, attempted to distract me. However, my spidey senses kicked in and I figured out what was going on. I decided to not ruin it for everyone else by coming in through the back door, and it turned out to be a great birthday [including several pinatas!]. The second attempt was on my twentieth birthday. It was my Boston summer, and we happened to be in New Hampshire for a mid-summer retreat. There were only eight of us, so it was fairly easy for me to pick up the vibe that they were planning something for me. It was a nice little shindig, and happened to be my only time in that state, so I can add that to my list of states in which I've celebrated my birthday.*

It isn't that I hate surprises, I enjoy them - really, I do. However, I also really like unraveling mysteries, like puzzles, secrets, women and so forth. So I'm going to give you all some advice, in hopes that someday, someone might actually surprise me. This doesn't mean that I won't be putting aside my spidey senses though, so good luck.

One. Be really sneaky. This should go without saying, but honestly, if you don't put your best efforts forward I will figure it out. You can't pull a rookie mistake like parking too many recognizable cars nearby. You may need to not let some people into the secret until the party is really close.

Two. Emotionally distract me. This will ensure that I won't be on top of my sleuthing prowess. Options include, but are not limited to: getting into an argument with me, or in some way frustrating me. Or you could get a cute chica to flirt with me and make me believe that she actually has some interest in me. Note this though, if you use that second option and she actually doesn't have an interest in me I will probably hold it against you for a long, long time.

Three. Think outside the box. This has become a cliche, but seriously, avoid the norm. Throw me a birthday party a month early. Have it in a really random locale [Kentucky, Congo, etc.]. Invite people I don't know [for another day: I once went to a very poorly attended surprise party for someone I didn't know. It was one of the most awkward moments ever]. Invite all the people who dislike me, which would be about three or four people. Or better yet, invite all the girls I've ever liked - that would be... fun? No, that's not the word I was looking for. Weird - that's better. Get Jeff Tweedy or David Bazan to show up. Or have everyone dress up as woodland creatures and have the party be at a park. I'm sure you can come up with some even better ideas.

Some personal notes: today was great because: the weather was nice, I listened to a lot of Beatles songs and was in a rather goofy mood. I saw Wilco a couple of nights ago and it was fantastic - a lot of old songs, everyone in the band was acting silly and they were just downright amazing. The breaking news from last post: RyJo is engaged to be wed, thus allowing me to name myself Czar of the iEHBS [the new constitution passed] and Bob the High Judge. I had a late dinner with Josh, Angie and Naomi Smith last night; it was really good to see them before they made their way to L.A. I am loving the madness of March and am so excited for the tournament, enough so that my next post will be devoted to it. I'll try to post it before the selection, but will be pressed for time as I will be in Chicago this weekend - good times. That's it, embrace Spring if you are able. you have my love.

* No such list actually exists.

Viva la societal revolucion

2008-03-02T17:02:00.004-06:00

Two weeks ago I received a couple messages regarding the Evangelical Homiletic Bachelors Society from nonmembers, and it got me thinking about updating the EHBS. Looking back I realize that in forming the EHBS we never really established any sort of constitution, as we were too busy focusing on the promotion of the single life in the face of the couples-culture at Trinity. So after eight years, I'm proposing an informal constitution, which does bring into it some [radical?] changes. Most of these changes have come from ongoing conversations with B-Mick, Gates and RyJo. For those of you who are current or former members, please feel free to "vote", the rest of you, please enjoy.

First, a definition of the name, brought to us by Gates:
Evangelical:
In origin: The conception of the EHBS occurred on Valentines Day, oh-one on the campus of Trinity International University, a decidedly Evangelical institution.

In philosophy: The EHBS strives for a strong biblical concept of bachelorhood and matrimony, rooted in an evangelical, post-evangelical or neo-futurist interpretation of Scripture as well as the human document.

Homiletic:
St. Francis of Assisi said "preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words." That's a lovely sentiment, but we find it necessary to use words as we preach EHBS truth. This preaching is grounded in solid exegesis of text, culture, individual situation and the proliferation of facial hair in the greater context of bachelorhood.

Bachelor:
The EHBS is first and foremost a bachelor society. It celebrates bachelorhood and all it entails [see pillar one]. It is a community which shares the pains of bachelorhood, rages against a culture and church hell-bent on marriage as a universal ideal [see pillar two], receives support from like-minded married folk [emeritus members], and celebrates the joys of oddsmaking [see pillar three].

Society:
The EHBS is a society, a community. It is no mere aggregate of individual bachelors, but a family. This could entail secret passwords and handshakes, but mostly it means that nobody is alone in their bachelorhood. The EHBS is a ruggedly compassionate society rooted in brotherly love, beards and an indescribably hatred for pants.

What has been proposed is an expansion of sorts, which would be known through our name. My suggestion: "iEHBS & Associates". The "i" is for two things. One, to make us an international society. Perhaps this will bring about an expansion in numbers, but more importantly, perhaps it will encourage on Graham Aitken to actually embrace his bachelorhood. The second reason is that we become more promotable by jumping on the iAnything bandwagon. The "and associates" can be explained with RyJo's proposed member differentiation:

Member in good standing: one who joined EHBS as a bachelor and is currently an unattached bachelor.

Affiliated member: one who joined EHBS as a bachelor and is currently on a path [as determined by the members in good standing. which has a strong possibility of leading toward the cessation of bachelorhood [marriage].

Emeritus member: one who joined EHBS as a bachelor and is no longer, but continues to hold to the purposes and principles of EHBS.

Member ex-officio (non-voting): one who is not a bachelor but, by virtue of an outstanding commitment to the purposes of EHBS, has been voted into the society by a plurality of all members. This would allow for our fellow bachelorettes, though any dating within the EHBS would result in immediate disqualification and possible exile.

Thus we are inclusive without forfeiting our values. There was the thought of becoming unversalistic, but that's just absurd in such a society. Upon confirmation of membership differentiation, I propose member ex-officio status for B-Mick, Kathryn Goebel, and Studs Turkel. Also proposed, by RyJo, is the proclamation of enemies of the state of the EHBS: Ernst Troeltsch and Rudolf Bultmann. I would add Nicholas Sparks and Hugh Grant.

Gates also noted some potential pillars of the EHBS, though I would say that they are less "potential" than they already are the pillars that uphold the platform of the EHBS:

One. Bachelorhood is to be embraced not mere interlude between birth and marriage. It is to be embraced for the joys, freedoms and difficulties it offers.

Two. The EHBS is against the idea of universal matrimony [the proposition that all men should eventually marry], but is not anti-matrimony. Marriage of EHBS members may be momentarily mourned, but mostly for the sake of the society. After what is sometimes a deep struggle, matrimony ultimately is celebrated as the next chapter in an individual life.

Three. Oddsmaking, the minimally annual practice of determining likelihood of matrimony and procreation, is a pillar of EHBS which preserves the vitality and furthers the cause of the EHBS. Oddsmaking is to be facilitated by EHBS members in good standing, and those assessed in the odds themselves are not limited to EHBS members.

There you have it, a revolution within a revolution. It's a beautiful thing. It makes me want an ice cream sandwich. Also, it was fifty degrees out today and the "heat wave" created multitudes of lake-sized puddles. I went for a eighty minute walk in the woods and it was delightful. As I was typing that last sentence I received some breaking EHBS news, so I guess this post is timely. Hep. you have my love.

Book meme mama

2008-02-22T18:47:00.001-06:00

I've been tagged, not in the recess playground manner, nor in a Banksy work. Thank you Brandon for trying to get me to post more often, but your ploy won't work! Except for right now. Here's how this shet is going down: a) grab the nearest book of one hundred and twenty-three pages or more, b) turn to page one hundred and twenty-three, c) find the first five sentences, d) post the next three sentences, and e) tag five people. In the face.

We had hundreds of invitations that the limited time did not allow us to accept. We were looked upon as brothers, with the color of our skins as something of an asset. But the strongest bond of fraternity was the common cause of minority and colonial peoples in America, Africa, and Asia struggling to throw off racism and imperialism.

This is from Martin Luther King Junior's autobiography, describing his pilgrimage to India. I've noted this before, but he was a huge fan of Ghandi. I actually haven't gotten this far in the book, so it totally ruined that part of the story for me. Not really.

I actually haven't been reading that much lately. My schedule isn't that conducive to having a whole lot of free time. And the free time that is to be had is spent doing very, very little. I'm not entirely sure how it's possible to do so little.

I was supposed to tag five people, but I'm not going to, because if you don't want to do it, I'm not going to make you. But if you want to, please pass along this "book meme" and think of me. Coming soon: thoughts on the future of the EHBS as inspired by past, present and non members. you have my love.

There will be snacks

2008-02-18T15:18:00.005-06:00

I was inspired yesterday. Such are the days when one sits in front of the television for far too long because it's all snow and slush outside. During one of the many commercial breaks I laughed at the Aflac orangutan and was reminded of my friend Ryan's obsession with helper monkeys. It was then that I knew what I was to do that day: I had to post a Facebook marketplace listing: "Helper Monkey wanted".

A house of guys is in need of one helper monkey for custodial and entertainment purposes. Must provide valid certification and licensing, as well as proof of training. Monkey must be polite, as well as housebroken. If conditions are met we are willing to pay up to ten thousand Iclandic Kronas for said monkey. Please, only authentic response. Thank you.

This posting was proof-read, and contributed by myself, Seiler, JJ and Julie, and we all thought that it was quite professional and creative enough to elicit some responses. We were not wrong; within an hour I received this response from a random Dubuque student:

i have 3 helper monkeys that i am willing to sell. they are a rare breed of black monkey that sing, dance, and never sleep. they provide great entertainment (especially around mating season). they come from a line of previous slave monkeys, but are now freed. they will work only for weed and food. they are house broken, but do occasionally miss the toilet (who doesn't). they also have not yet mastered flushing yet, but i feel as though they are one the verge of a break through. they try to communicate by screaming what seems to be a long lost language, or made up. if you have any interest in these monkeys please feel free to contact me.

I figured that this posting would be the source of a great number of clever and hilarious responses, but this is a sad story. Kind of. This morning, I checked my email in anticipation of more responses, only to see this notice from Facebook:

Hello,
Your listing Helper Monkey was removed from Marketplace because it was reported by our users as being inappropriate, possibly for violating the Marketplace Guidelines. Please note that continued inappropriate postings may result in account termination. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page at http://www.facebook.com/help.php?page=62

The Facebook Team

Seriously? Come on! Was someone actually offended over my desired use of a helper monkey? Is not this the United States of America? Can we not choose to use lesser creatures however we see fit? I ought to call the ACLU. Whatever.

Since Facebook and the Weather Channel have deemed it necessary to never pull out of these winter blues, I give you two fine sources of laughter: first, go to youtube and search for "trigger happy tv" and proceed to laugh for the next thirty minutes to an hour. Second, for those of you who miss the Bluths, go here and be happy. Me? I'm going to make a three year plan for the next two years. you have my love.

The state of the EHBS

2008-02-14T06:51:00.001-06:00

Status: dying, but not dead, i.e. I'm still single, Bob's still single, Graham and Brad are still single. However, the impending loss of RyJo weighs upon our once mighty shoulders. The blueness of this winter has undoubtedly compounded my frustrations, but still I manage to exist, excel, and sleep well at night. One never knows, this may be my last Day of Valentines as a member of good standing within the EHBS*. Only time will tell, or perhaps Desmond could tell me. Hmm. Regardless, this Vday, for me, will be spent in class, running and celebrating the greatness of LOST. If you really want to be my Valentine, give me a call, I'll see what I can do.

Anyway, since I didn't post the most recent odds directly after they were established, I figured that today was such a day to do so. These were compiled on New Year's Day with the help of Bobby Ogata-Grothendick and Ryan Rockford Johnson. Do enjoy.

To become engaged
RyJo 3-2
Pranga 4-1
Bob 7-1
Travis 9-1
Graham 10-1
Nate Britcher 11-1
Zab 13-1
D. Bradley 15-1

To become pregnant (approximately, cause that'd be weird)
Gates (2nd) 3-1
Martins (3rd) 4-1
Boes 7-1
Gustines (2nd) 8-1
Grabhers 8-1
Morrisons 9-1
Overbays 11-1
Britchers 20-1
Pai's 30-1

The more astute readers of this blog will note that our last odds [Reigle engaged, Gustines with child] were dead on. Also noted, my odds remained at 9-1 while RyJo took the obvious place as favorite. But I'm going to see what I can do to pull off the come-from-behind victory. All I really need is two weeks, right? Right. you have my love.

* For the Unawares, the EHBS is the Evangelical Homiletic Bachelors Society, founded on Vday in oh-one. Of the four founding fathers, only I stand in good standing - Andrew and Matthew iVan are married, whilst RyJo is seemingly headed to the same end. Go Bears.

Chickenthug7

2008-02-10T12:43:00.000-06:00

I was looking for this and ended up reading several months worth of blog posts. I used to be witty, funny even, and maybe even clever. Plus I got a lot more comments. So it goes. Seriously though, it's strange to see how much has changed from those days, and though they were good days, it doesn't mean that the change was all that bad. Idealism was overrated back then, now it's underrated. Last night was good: JJ, RJ and I sat in the back of 212 and laughed a lot for several hours. We talked about how horrible we are at meeting ladies, and our stubbornness in not necessarily trying that hard. I've said that I'm not doing the whole internet dating thing until I'm thirty, but I won't lie, I've been tempted to break that decree. But I love the theater so I'm back in. I mean, but I'm stubborn so I'm not breaking my word. I put some [Common Cloud] posters up in my room, so I guess it looks a little more like a home. I'm really, really over winter and in need of green grass. I seriously considered a spring break [!] road trip somewhere South of here, but my checkbook was disinclined to that thought. For Lent I have given up video games, because I was beginning to see a trend of a large amount of wasted time. Lynette mentioned something of a "positive fasting" - i.e. not just giving something up, but doing something productive. It's a really good idea, so next year..? Mostly because I have no idea what I would do towards that end right now. Maybe it could be that I'm more purposeful in my blogging, like the olden days. On that note, I have nothing else to write. you have my love.

The reason for my Chickenthug7 searching: Update this "quiz" from Pedro to Wilco. Why not.
Choose your favorite band and answer each question with titles from some of their songs.

Are you a male, or female: I'm the man who loves you
Describe yourself: I'm a wheel, Sunken treasure
How do some people feel about you: You are my face, We're just friends
How do you feel about yourself? Reservations, Misunderstood
Describe your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend: Outtasite (Outta mind)
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: In a future age, Someday soon
Describe where you want to be: Impossible Germany, Via Chicago
Describe what you want to be: Theologians
Describe how you live: I'm always in love
Describe how you love: My darling, Forget the flowers
Share a few words of wisdom: Christ for president, Say you miss me, War on war, Hell is chrome, Please be patient with me.

Bullets never win

2008-01-30T23:26:00.000-06:00

Sixty years ago today Mohandas Ghandi was gunned down. As if to mock Ghandi's life the assassin was executed and the assassination sparked riots in which many people died. He believed in nonviolence resistance in response to systems of evil. He fought for peace and justice by fasting, at times almost to nothingness. His assassin's motive was that Ghandi insisted that the Indian government pay Pakistan, though they had made an agreement following a short-lived war.

Martin Luther King jr. was shot and killed on April fourth, in sixty-eight. He was thirty-nine years old. I've been reading his autobiography lately and was interested to find out that he spent his graduate work studying Hegel and Tillich and the like. I was aware of his oratory skills, but never knew that he was an outright scholar. He greatly admired Ghandi, and believed in nonviolence himself. He lead many acts of nonviolent civil disobedience for the cause of the oppressed, namely the Blacks of America facing harsh segregation laws. Riots followed his death as well.

On April ninth, nineteen forty-five, just three weeks before the Germans surrendered, Dietrich Bonhoeffer was hanged naked in the courtyard of a detainment camp. He was also thirty-nine. His crime was that he participated in a plot with the goal of Hitler's assassination. Though he did indeed participate with such a plot, Bonhoeffer also believed in the ways of nonviolence. He too admired Ghandi. No riots followed his death, only more war.

I believe in the ways of nonviolence. I believe that Jesus taught and lived nonviolence to perfection. I believe that because humans are created in the image of God that it is indeed sin to commit violence against another human. I believe in nonviolence because it has shown itself over and over to truly be good in the face of evil. Would I commit violence if my mother/sister/wife was being raped? Probably, but I would not feel as like a hero. What about World War Two, was that not justified violence? Was the fire bombing of Dresden just? Was dropping two atomic bombs on Japan just? Certainly there are struggles within the concept of nonviolence, as there is within any aspect of life. Nonviolence as an idealogy is not perfect, but it is good. you have my love.

When war is in your blood...

2008-01-28T22:04:00.000-06:00

My Bible study just went and saw Rambo together. Definitely one of the goriest movies I've ever seen. So over the top that we were laughing at quite a bit of it. For those of you wondering why on Earth a Bible study went to see such a movie: our fearless leader, Steve, has lead a number of mission trips into Myanmar [Burma]. The plot, what little there is, revolves around John Rambo rescuing missionaries from Burmese rebels. And I'm sure it provided us enough quotes to last us through summer.

Classes: I like them. Not terribly hard currently, and quite repetitive, but I can tell that they are going to be good. I've been given a lot of statistics on how fat and out of shape America is, and I think we'll get to the remedy soon. I found out what legumes are, and which cholesterol is good for you [HDL, as opposed to LDL]. My exercise psych prof is really into what he's teaching, and he's funny, so he wins prof of the month from me.

I've returned to running. This week should bring about thirteen miles, and my first five miler. The rec center here is fabulous, and I get to watch the track and field teams practice while I'm running. It's kind of encouraging and discouraging at the same time. As nice as the rec is, I'm really excited to get back to running outside. It was in the high forties the past few days, as a foretaste to Spring I guess. Unfortunately Wednesday's high is supposed to be eleven. Ugh.

I'm preparing to throw my first ever Pancake Day [February fifth] party. I'm pretty stoked about it. I'd love to be in Portland celebrating the fifth annual party, but throwing my own will be its own sort of dopalicous. I does mean that there will have to be some cleaning done around here. Manlantis was a different type of dirty than the Wilson House; I'd take the Manlantian mess over this any day. No one wants to eat pancakes in a pigsty. I have a killer playlist for the party, I've entitled it "pancake pop" and it includes some Katamari jams and other indietronica hits. You should be there, er, here, er, anywhere that serves pancakes. Or donuts. you have my love.

Bus stops in January

2008-01-17T21:15:00.000-06:00

When I was living in Portland people complained about winter, mostly that it was so dreary and that it had rained more than the year before. If I were to step outside right now, which I am refusing to, I would be greeted with negative three degree weather. And that is without factoring the windchill. Strike that, it's negative four now. So I'm moving back to Portland. Someday. Maybe. We'll see.

Being back on campus is an interesting thing. I'm definitely older than most of the other students in my classes and one of the few non-jocks. I attempt to distinguish myself by reading Cat's Cradle in between classes. But I don't think anyone cares. In one class we each shared our name and a hobby, one young man declared his hobby to be "binge drinking." It almost feels as though I could connect with my prof's more easily than with my classmates.

One marvelous thing about Ames / Iowa State is the bus system. I rarely have to wait more than a few minutes before I am carted away to wherever I am headed. But I also walk a lot, because I don't really mind it - it is exercise after all. But said walking necessitated that I buy new gloves; good ones at that. So I went to the local outdoor store where I bought some wonderful gloves and looked at snowshoes. Apparently you can rent them from rec services, which would be great this weekend if not for the frigid temps.

I am attempting to bring the Pancake Day [February fifth] tradition to Ames this year. I've acquired batter mix and a griddle and am slowly building up a nice lil' guest list. If you read this and will be in Ames on said evening, feel free to join us. Speaking of Pancake Day [Shrove Tuesday, day before Lent begins], I haven't given much thought to what I'll be giving up this year. I was thinking about Facebook, but that will be difficult to plan a Leap Year Day party with the ol' Fb.

I suppose that I should be reading for class, but I'm having a pensive afternoon / evening, quite possibly stemming from this damn weather - though I still prefer it to the humidity of August. A quick check of the weather reveals a windchill of negative eleven. Bears are wise to hibernate. you have my love.

January's thaw

2008-01-09T19:28:00.000-06:00

I've realized that it isn't that I have less to blog about, but less time and more choosiness. Since last time I wrote I had a fabulous time at the Britcher-hosted, Ditka-hoisting 104 New Year's gathering: much Rock Star and Guitar Hero were played, much was conversed, and a bit too much food and drink was consumed. Upon my return to Iowa I've worked a lot, caucused [for Senator Obama, as promised], enjoyed fun times on Main Street, surpassed the eighty star mark in Mario Galaxy, saw Juno, finished reading The Gift of Asher Lev and The Hobbit, and have done a large amount of prep work for a warehouse project. And last night I ran for the first time in a month and a half - it was really exciting for me. I've missed running a lot, and though it hurt a bit, it was beautiful to be on the track again.

As for the next few weeks, I will be quite busy. Classes at Iowa State start next week [I'll detail the classes later (spreading out the blog posts)], which will force my warehouse hours to be cut dramatically; so I'm looking for work in Ames. The small group I lead is back from hiatus in about an hour, so that will leave me in DSM Wednesday nights [no more Olde Main dollar pint nights]. Thursday night Barker meals will start again soon, as will LOST [on Thursdays?!], and I've started watching The Biggest Loser. And I want to start baking at least once or twice a month on Saturdays [goal for oh-eight: learn how to bake]. So, busy much? Yeah. Which means that I'll have more to write about, but less time to write. It ought to be an interesting spring semester, and by 'interesting' I hope to mean 'good'. you have my love.

The life and times of oh seven

2007-12-31T11:42:00.000-06:00

It was an interesting year, and in the end I can say that it was a good yea. It brought about a great deal of change in my life - a move to Ames, a return to academia, a new Church, new friends, new places to run and so forth. For this year-in-review I thought I would share some of my favorite moments/experiences of my life in oh seven.

- Buying my Asics 2120's. It started me off on a running kick that brought me out of my winter slump. Does it ever thaw in January? Maybe if you're running three miles several times a week.
- March Madness. While following it with my basketball-loving coworker Ryan was intense, it was all the more fun watching it with Jennifer. At the time she was house-sitting at a place that not only had a huge projection HD-tv with stadium seating and leather couches, but it also had a hot tub. It was a great few weeks.
- The Moss/Pai event. It's always good to see the 104 fam, but to travel to Wisconsin, to see the Grabhers, to see Ush and Steph in from London, all of it was very much a good time.
- Seeing Wilco in Davenport with Chris and Katie. Was it the Hoover Highway, the company, the face-melting Nels Cline solos, or the presence of Jeff Tweedy that made this an amazing road trip? Definitely a combo of all of the above.
- Meeting Senator Obama on Independence Day and getting my picture taken with he, Monica and myself.
- The Portland trip. Long overdue and too short. I miss my friends and that city often, and to return, if only for a short while, was beautiful.
- Moving to Ames. I was bold in moving, I was nervous and underwhelmed at first, and now I love it.
- The Iowa State cross country course. I fell in love with the course in September, even though it may have tried to kill me.
- Homecoming/Chicago Marathon. It was intensely hot, but that didn't stop us from having a great weekend [or from Steph finishing the twenty-six point two].
- David Bazan with sir Brandon Mick. Brandon and I seem to always miss each other. Like right now, he's in Iowa and I'm in Chicago, but mostly it's vice versa since he is living in Chicago. It was a weekend of theological discussions and episodes of Arrested Development. And of course, Bazan himself.
- Brothers K. It took a while for me to get into it, but once I did I loved it. Definitely my favorite book that I read this year.
- The London Underground. It's close to the Wilson house, they have darts and through it I was introduced to Franziskaner. Though I've only been four or five times, I already have some great moments there.
- The Jewish books. The past three books that I've read: Everything is Illuminated, My Name is Asher Lev, and The Gift of Asher Lev. I think it will be weird when I start The Hobbit within the next few days, I'll miss the strong Jewish themes and learning about Hasidic culture.
- 5000 on tour. Yes, I love Rock Band, but I'll only play when Steph lets me - I promise.

A good year indeed, and I have a feeling that oh eight, despite the political strife, will be another wonderful year of friends, books, running, music and who knows what. I look forward to the beautiful unknown of a new year. you have my love.

A list, maybe a B list

2007-12-18T22:05:00.000-06:00

My mother and grandma both have been asking for a Christmas list for a couple of weeks [six] and I've just not given anything to them. Regardless it looks as though I will get a new timing belt, which is a good thing. I've tried to think about what would be on that list, but I couldn't think of much at all [also a good thing], for the slow progression toward a wardrobe of nice clothes - and I won't burden my mom with such a task. However, during the wanning days of my econ class I did make the ideal list - a list of things that would absolutely blow my mind this Christmas. If you, or your rich relatives, go ahead with any of these let me know so I can cross it off the list. Much obliged. you have my love.

- a pair of Asics 2130's
- four more fantasy football wins
- a job in Ames
- the ability of teleportation
- a broomball stick
- ~~for Bottle Rocket to get a Criterion edition~~ [thanks Wes!]
- for the WGA strike to get over [stupid AMPTP]
- dinner with Jeff Tweedy
- the losses of USC, Florida and Ohio State in their respective bowl games
- some Boddingtons, or perhaps a Franziskaner
- a train line from Ames to Des Moines
- for Tottenham not to get relegated
- even more good books for next year
- that cute girl's phone number
- for more Churches to adopt Advent Conspiracy

Larry Bigbie

2007-12-13T22:31:00.000-06:00

Noooo! Oh, how could this happen under my watch?! I should have seen the signs; the muscles, the production, the rage. Okay. I will be responsible, even if the Player's Union fails to be, even if the players fail to be, even if Selig fails to be. I hereby forfeit my fifth place [out of five] season in the Deerfield League fantasy baseball league of Oh-Four. In said league near the end of the season I released all players except for Mr. Bigbie and renamed the team "Larry Bigbie", in hopes that he alone could carry me out of a thirty-five point difference, so that I would place in the top three. I trusted you Larry, and now, to know the truth after all these years, oh, the anguish. Not that you took part in disgracing a sport that some dare to call a business, but that you have tainted my fantasy sports managerial portfolio. The shame, the shame. And I won't even start with you Chuck Knoblauch. All of this on top of fantasy football playoff season [oh, and finals] is creating a rigidness within my life. I need a donut, or a burger with five meats. you have my love.

I35 thoughts on music

2007-12-09T18:08:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year again, the crest of finals is about to commence and here I am blogging. In all fairness, I'm doing well this time around; I'm done with physics, I have to create a cheat sheet for econ and then I have a couple of days to worry about my stats final. It should be okay, I think. Aside from preparing for finals and finishing Everything is Illuminated [it fascinated me so] I have had a couple of thoughts on the the music industry. I can only imagine that these ideas have been put to words already somewhere, but I haven't done so, so I might as well do it right now.

First, "crunk" is the new "glam". I don't really listen to crunk rap, but my co-workers do and they attempt to bring it into our workplace. I get it, it has catchy hooks and beats, but rarely says anything of non-narcissistic matters. Glam rock revolved around treating women like sexual objects, large quantities of alcohol and drugs, quickly spent wealth and fantastic guitar hooks - all the makings of a Vh1 "Behind the Music" special. And, from my limited view, crunk centers around the exact same things, though exchanging guitar hooks for electronically created beats. I'm not denying its artform, though it's fairly easy to criticize the lyrics, I'm just noting the similarities. I figured Chuck Klosterman should have already written about this sort of thing.

Second, I used to be opposed to the electronic medium of music. Then I was surprised with an iPod last Christmas. Honestly, it has revolutionized how I listen to music. I spend the most time listening to music in my car, where I spend an unfortunately large amount of time, and it's where I keep my iPod. It's a nano, so it holds a fraction of my music, but what it does is that it keeps my music fresh. When I only listened to CD's in my car, I would listen to one CD until I got bored with it, then repeated the boredom with another CD. The process made me lose interest in the music I owned in the form of CD's. With the electronic medium it is easy to create what amounts to a personalized radio station. Since I began using my iPod I have only rarely got bored with my music selection, meaning that I buy fewer CD's [helping my wallet], and enjoy what music I have more.

This being said, there is one thing that is still lacking in the electronic medium: the physical art that physical mediums are packaged in. I love looking through liner notes and looking at old LP covers. There's a certain beauty that's found in those things that is difficult, if not impossible, to recreate in the electronic medium. Maybe it puts more focus on the music itself, but I know that my friends that are in bands sometimes really enjoy creating what packages the music. Perhaps the alternative is the artist's [non-myspace] website. Some artists keep their websites unchanged over the period of several albums, while others revamp their sites for every release. And there are some really, really creative websites out there: Point Juncture WA, Talkdemonic or Jesca Hoop [vis non-crunk co-worker Emily]. I'm not entirely sure of how to resolve this, but I know that multiple musicians read this blog o' mine, so I would like to hear at least a couple of responses. I'll just go ahead and thank you in advance.. and wish my fellow final-takers good luck. you have my love.

My feelings toward December

2007-12-02T23:14:00.000-06:00

I've spent the last three or so hours trying to think of something to write. I may have done a better job had I not been distracted by the football game or my roommate's viewing of Anastasia. I can't really think of much, so I offer what little I have. I survived the ice storm, barely. I had some white knuckle moments on the interstate, even though I was going just thirty mph. I'm really enjoying Everything is Illuminated, though I can't imagine reading it without having seen the movie. I wouldn't have understood the first fifty pages or so. The ice has kept me from running this weekend, so I just stare out the windows and sigh. I was reminded of a line from a movie that I have always felt applied to me as well: "you have great ideals, but many doubts." I'm trying to overcome those doubts, but it isn't easy. Does that mean that it's good? I've mentioned that I dream a lot, so this morning I decided to start writing down my dreams; if you're lucky I'll share some with you someday. I spent a lot of time thinking about giving, football and futbol today, but mostly I thought of the friends that I miss. Must be that time of the year. One thing I am looking forward to: Wisconsin versus Tennessee, battle for the C room. I don't think I'll be able to take sides. you have my love.

Zzz-running

2007-11-26T22:21:00.000-06:00

I dream a lot. Not just of the day variety as my econ prof lulls me to sleep. Pretty much every night I dream. Most nights I will remember the fullness of one or two dreams, sometimes I will just remember the vagueness of a dream. As much as I run anymore, you would think that I would have a fair amount of running dreams, but I guess my subconscious isn't ready for me to be a runner yet. When I do have a dream in which I am running I am usually running after or from something/someone, it's very rarely a dream about me just out for a run.

There is one very specific exception to this trend. I can't recall when I had this dream, but it was within the past year or so. I was running through a city that may have been a village and it was autumn. For one of those unknown dream reasons I knew I was in Germany. I was waving to people, I ran over a small stone bridge, it was beautiful. Then I made a turn up a hill and it was winter. I was running through the woods, through the snow. Sound familiar? Yeah, and this was well before I had ever considered the idea of trail running. I am hoping and praying that this is some sort of prophetic dream, because trail running in Germany would kind of be amazing for me [I heart Germany]. It would truly be a dream come true, which sounds cheesy, but it really does work on both levels. I might not be able to fall asleep for a while just thinking about what it would be like to take a lap around Eibsee, maybe maybe up into the foothills in the shadow of Zugspitze. Sigh. Other things that I am excited about right now: watching the new episode of Heroes in the library tomorrow, rumors that the WGA strike is over and broomball on Saturday. Goodness. you have my love.

Okay submarines hide beneath the snow

2007-11-23T20:52:00.000-06:00

I have a lot on my mind, but I'm not sure what to write about. So maybe a little of everything; kind of like a Thanksgiving meal. I ran today, in the woods, in the snow, in the cold. My lungs were burning, my thighs were so cold, my feet were slipping, but I kept going. I lie to myself and tell myself that I'm running today because I love to run, but today's reason is that I needed to be in the snowy woods by myself. I pushed myself and I loved it. If my lungs and ankles could have handled it I would have done another loop. I put some John Prine on my computer. This is an inherited musical trait from my parents. They have taken me to several of his shows, and I really do enjoy what he does. LSU lost, which means that the nation has lost. Why? The BCS championship game this year will most likely be the combination of two of these three teams: Kansas, West Virginia, Ohio State. It's bound to be awful.

But mostly I've been thinking about a dear friend of mine. The whole drive home I was trying to reconcile myself to her in my thoughts, but I don't know if I can do it. Ever since we became friends eight years ago I've cherished our friendship, and at times we've been really close [never romantically though, and that's okay]. But over the past couple of years I hear from her less and less. I've emailed and left voicemails on occasion, but I haven't gotten any reply in the past six or eight months. I guess I've just left our friendship in her hands, and tried my best to move on, but damned if it isn't tough. And this isn't the first friend that I've had to do this to. For someone who cares so much about his friends, it's one of the hardest things for me to do. It's what has me in my room listening to old country music and drinking a pint [Oregon brewed] tonight. If only it were light enough out to go for a run. You know who you are, you still have my love.

No cape for I

2007-11-13T21:47:00.000-06:00

No cape for I

Now that I'm caught up with Heroes, I feel like I can share with you my secret: I have no super powers. I had a friend that once dreamed that his spiritual gift was The Force. He was super excited when he woke up, but then realized that it had just been a dream. It's a sad story. Anyway, watching Heros got me to thinking about what super powers I would want to have, you know, in case we have to battle the evil Pyramonster. So it's a top five list for you all.

five. Superhuman strength - This would be cool, as long as I could control it. I would attempt to harness it into some sort of running ability, but other than that I can't really think of what I would use it for. Also, I wouldn't have superhuman speed [like the Flash] to manipulate my running, because that would just be cheating.

four. Telekinesis - Occasionally I throw things into trees [discs, golf clubs, etc.], this would help with getting those down. Also, no need to interrupt a conversation to have someone pass me the salt. It would be fun and useful in a great many ways.

three. Flying - My mom has flying dreams fairly often. Every once in a while I dream that I'm gliding, as though traveling in zero gravity. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't ever want to fly above fifty feet or so. If I ever turned an ankle while running I could just fly back home. I would also use this ability to impress the female population.

two. Innate capability [the ability to learn things quickly] - Think Trinity in the Matrix, learning how to fly a helicopter or something. I would learn a lot of things. Languages, sports stats, memorizing literature and the Bible, music, historical facts, and on and on and on. This would also be used to impress the female population. Though I would be tempted to be really prideful and act like I knew everything ['cos I would], so I'd have to be careful about that.

one. Manipulation of the space/time continuum - Yeah, this would be fabulous. Lunch with Rachel in Japan? Tea with the Pai's in London? A midnight donut run with the Sanchezes in Portland? All possible as I manipulate the space continuum and visit my friends across the world at any time [I'd call first though]. Also terribly useful if running late. Since the space continuum is closely bound with the time continuum, I would have to have the ability to travel across time as well, but I probably wouldn't. I mean, it's pretty dangerous, and more than likely would create a temporal paradox, i.e. mess up history. Not good. So I would just stick to traveling instantaneously across the space continuum.

Super powers that I wouldn't have? Okay: Invisibility - this would come with to much temptation to do far too many things that I shouldn't do. Healing - yeah, it didn't really work out well for Wolverine. It would eventually grow old, especially if it allowed you not to age, but everyone around you did. Bad news. Telepathy - again, there would be far too much temptation to use the ability to read minds for my own benefit.

Waking up early is not a super power, but if it was I would want it. The problem I have with waking up early is that I always seem to convince myself that there is nothing to do at such an early time. But the past two days I've been able to convince myself to get out of bed and stretch and do some ab work, so that's good. I'm also going to go ahead and believe that there is no correlation between getting up before six and being ripped up by this cold. If immunibility to common colds and flus were a super power, I would definitely want it. Okay, here's to dreams that mean nothing but seem so real. you have my love.

Also, what should I read this winter? I was thinking War and Peace or The Idiot, but after Les Mis last year, I need something a bit lighter. Thanks for the input.

Numbers fail to satisfy

2007-11-09T23:39:00.000-06:00

Numbers fail to satisfy

Five years ago I had just begun blogging, I thought my blogiversery was the seventeenth, but I was wrong. Every time I look at those old blog posts I find it humorous how much and yet how little has changed in my life. Still inconsistent, still unsure, still single. Oh well.

The other day I celebrated my 9600th day of life. Next December, I think the twelfth, will be my ten thousandth day of life, I'm definitely having a party. With donuts.

I ran four miles tonight. Part of my run was in the dark, through some corn fields and then some woods that I'm not too terribly familiar with. It was strange, but I managed to not freak out. And the temperature drop in the river valley was so amazing; my legs were in air that must have been ten degrees colder than the air around my face. Also, I worked on my stride count, and I think it made me faster. I'm not entirely sure what that means though.

One year ago I entered into a bit of a dark period. I retreated from the world, read Les Mis, watched way too much television and talked to too few friends. Looking back on it, it may have been the realizations of poorly made decisions and the failed hopes. I hated it but survived, and in all honesty I feel like I might be slipping into that state of mind again. These aren't easy times, so I'm searching for the goodness that must lie within. With all that said, I anticipate appreciation for your prayers. Thanks.

A last number: one. The least amount of viewings you should give The Darjeeling Limited. I know that it was fated that I would really enjoy this film, but seriously, it's good. And Mr. Anderson sheds some of his tendencies and it surprises you and moves you and go see it. you have my love.

From the ground up

2007-11-04T16:59:00.000-06:00

I got back a little while ago from our annual high school youth group fall retreat. It was quite the fun weekend, full of basketball, unusual smells, poor building design - bringing about way too much heat and humidity in the rooms, squash stealing and dressing like a sleazy Hollywood agent. But what I came away with the most was various means of pain. For your enjoyment I've listed out the various injuries that I incurred this weekend.

Feet
- If-I-had-played-one-more-game-of-basketball-I'd-have-some-nasty-blisters.
- Sore toe: at several moments thought to be broken, I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but did notice it after a seven-mile run.

Legs
- Anterior shinsplints: from running seven miles on gravel roads, and not really having a lot of miles in the past few weeks.

Knees
- Rug burn: I was, without warning, attacked by one Jordan Oakes - a stellar welterweight - and we proceeded in an impromptu [unsanctioned] wrestling match. I won, but I will say that he's a beast.

Back/shoulders
- Sore and tight: I'm not sure why, but it's probable that the wrestling match and a horrible mattress contributed. My back is, as I'm writing this, still hurting.

Hand
- Bruised fingernail: this is one of those weird injuries that is fairly minor, but it hurts like the dickens when it happens; this one was made possible by some wood paneling.

Elbows
- Rug burn: also from the wrestling match.

Face
- Bruised eyelid: I'm not entirely sure how it's possible to bruise one's eyelid without getting a black eye, but I somehow managed to do so. It occurred during the wrestling match, and probably caused by my glasses.

Feeling it through

2007-10-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

Hi. I've missed you, just say you miss me too. Now, let's get caught up. Last saturday I spent the day surrounded by matrimony. I was a groomsman in a [beautiful] wedding in the morning, and then had two receptions that evening. It was a fun day, but by the end of it I thought my feet were going to literally explode. This past week I dedicated myself to catching up on four weeks of unread statistics, and ended up feeling as though I did quite well on the test that took two class periods. I have yet to run this week, nor have I picked up my free reading book [Martin Luther King Jr.'s autobiography], and spent the majority of the free time that I had absolutely wasting time. Last night I turned that "time wasting" to good use and started watching season one of the television series "Heros". For those of you who care about this show, I'm sorry I didn't listen sooner. However, it won't be long before I catch up to this season. And now for today's plans: my family [including some out-of-towners that we rarely see, but always have fun with] and I are going down to the farm, a day which will culminate with a horse-drawn hay rack ride. Then tomorrow I'll wake up and start a new week, and hopefully it will be a lot better than its predecessor.

Okay, so this year I had two really good ideas for halloween costumes, but I lack the time, money, ability and party to go to, to put these ideas to use. So I spent some of my valuable time putting together these prototypes via the paint program. I'll go ahead and say that the first person to get both of the ideas right wins some points towards the game. you have my love.