Jesus died for me. I know this, I believe this. I was thinking about this at church this Sunday and it reminded me of my thoughts three years ago. Let me take you back. I had just transferred to the local community college from Iowa State and was living at home. My thoughts we're regarding my unworthyness. I was not living a life worthy of God's grace. I was bound in internet pornography, not necessarily addicted but certainly within it's grasp. I hated it, and I still do. I told no one until a year and a half later. It is a scary place to be folks, very scary. But the point is that I was unworthy of God's grace, mercy and forgiveness. I knew it too, I knew how unworthy I was. I remember talking to the girl I liked at the time and relaying my thoughts, "why in the world would God send Jesus to die for me? I just don't comprehend." There is only one reason, and that is His love for me. But still, it amazes me, all for the sake of love? In my finite mind I find it unconprehensible to imagine God Himself taking on a frail human body to die such a death. Even now, even though I am not "living in sin," I am certainly not pure of heart or by any way sinless.

I forget sometimes how unworthy I stil am. Fogive me of the sin within me. I forget the cost of Your grace. May I never forget the cost of the cross, the cost of my sin, the cost of grace, the cost of true life. Thank you God, thank you Jesus for true life.

Well, beyond that. I am finishing up on my paper, only have the conclusion and the abstract left. Matt and I are both kind of ill, so that sucks. I have been encouraged greatly by people lately. I got a couple of encouraging notes in the mail, benn verbal encouraged and even got an awesome gift bag full of bananas, candy and another note. So to those of you taking part of that, thank you, you make me feel loved!!! :) So, yeah, I'm feeling good about life. If I had to ride into the sunset, I would be content. you have my love.