Well, today I turn five. Spiritually that is. Five years ago on July 2nd, 1998 my friend Karen lead my in the sinner's prayer and I placed my faith in Jesus Christ as my savior. That very night I got separated from the group and spent an hour feeling lonely and insignificant. Tonight, well, I feel similar. This summer has been a lonely one; not a whole lot of friends around, and those that are around are as busy as I am with little time to hang out. I've been wondering about what impact my life has on others, my significance that is. I fight the battle of significance versus humility. On one hand I want to be recognized as someone who changed lives for God, someone who helped build the kingdom. But on the other hand, I don't want attention; I don't want people to see me rather than God at work through me. My nature is to do things without recognition, yet I hunger for encouragement, but when encouraged I shrink away from it. I am an odd fellow. I don't really see any projected relationships in the near future and that does get me down, even though my heart knows better. So what do I do? Well, Just like five years ago, I trust in Jesus. That is all I can do sometimes. Hope is the bravest thing we have. Amen to that. you have my love, and today especially you Karen and you Jesus.