Want to be mine?

Well, it's that time of year again: time to entertain applicants to be my valentine. I've decided to give some order to this year's process, rather than the usual means of just not having a valentine. So I've put together an application that should weed out the candidates that just want another photo op with yours truly. Be careful, there could be some trick questions mixed in. Here we go:

Short Answer
What is your favorite Wes Anderson film?
What do you consider to be the merits of traveling by train?
Hot or cold weather?
What is your favorite soccer league?
What is your favorite terrain?
What is your favorite swear word?
How many books over seven-hundred pages have you read in the past five years?
What section of the paper do you read first?
What is your favorite country in Europe?

Yes or No
Liturgy
Harry Potter
Alt-country
NPR
Babies
Chasing squirrels
Los Angeles
U.S. trade embargoes on communist nations
Trinitarian theology
the NBA
Wikipedia
CBS comedies
Sudoku
The History Channel
Loitering
More cheese
Pub food and drink

Make an argument for
The best band ever
The best American band ever
The best band in the world currently
The best American band currently

The winning applicant will be announced Wednesday in my annual EHBS state of the union address, and later this week I will reveal the acceptable answers to the application. Why? So you can cheat on it next year. Good luck to all applicants. The rest of you will totally not get any chocolate from me. you have my love.