Viva la societal revolucion

Two weeks ago I received a couple messages regarding the Evangelical Homiletic Bachelors Society from nonmembers, and it got me thinking about updating the EHBS. Looking back I realize that in forming the EHBS we never really established any sort of constitution, as we were too busy focusing on the promotion of the single life in the face of the couples-culture at Trinity. So after eight years, I'm proposing an informal constitution, which does bring into it some [radical?] changes. Most of these changes have come from ongoing conversations with B-Mick, Gates and RyJo. For those of you who are current or former members, please feel free to "vote", the rest of you, please enjoy.

First, a definition of the name, brought to us by Gates:
Evangelical:
In origin: The conception of the EHBS occurred on Valentines Day, oh-one on the campus of Trinity International University, a decidedly Evangelical institution.

In philosophy: The EHBS strives for a strong biblical concept of bachelorhood and matrimony, rooted in an evangelical, post-evangelical or neo-futurist interpretation of Scripture as well as the human document.

Homiletic:
St. Francis of Assisi said "preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words." That's a lovely sentiment, but we find it necessary to use words as we preach EHBS truth. This preaching is grounded in solid exegesis of text, culture, individual situation and the proliferation of facial hair in the greater context of bachelorhood.

Bachelor:
The EHBS is first and foremost a bachelor society. It celebrates bachelorhood and all it entails [see pillar one]. It is a community which shares the pains of bachelorhood, rages against a culture and church hell-bent on marriage as a universal ideal [see pillar two], receives support from like-minded married folk [emeritus members], and celebrates the joys of oddsmaking [see pillar three].

Society:
The EHBS is a society, a community. It is no mere aggregate of individual bachelors, but a family. This could entail secret passwords and handshakes, but mostly it means that nobody is alone in their bachelorhood. The EHBS is a ruggedly compassionate society rooted in brotherly love, beards and an indescribably hatred for pants.


What has been proposed is an expansion of sorts, which would be known through our name. My suggestion: "iEHBS & Associates". The "i" is for two things. One, to make us an international society. Perhaps this will bring about an expansion in numbers, but more importantly, perhaps it will encourage on Graham Aitken to actually embrace his bachelorhood. The second reason is that we become more promotable by jumping on the iAnything bandwagon. The "and associates" can be explained with RyJo's proposed member differentiation:

Member in good standing: one who joined EHBS as a bachelor and is currently an unattached bachelor.

Affiliated member: one who joined EHBS as a bachelor and is currently on a path [as determined by the members in good standing. which has a strong possibility of leading toward the cessation of bachelorhood [marriage].

Emeritus member: one who joined EHBS as a bachelor and is no longer, but continues to hold to the purposes and principles of EHBS.

Member ex-officio (non-voting): one who is not a bachelor but, by virtue of an outstanding commitment to the purposes of EHBS, has been voted into the society by a plurality of all members. This would allow for our fellow bachelorettes, though any dating within the EHBS would result in immediate disqualification and possible exile.


Thus we are inclusive without forfeiting our values. There was the thought of becoming unversalistic, but that's just absurd in such a society. Upon confirmation of membership differentiation, I propose member ex-officio status for B-Mick, Kathryn Goebel, and Studs Turkel. Also proposed, by RyJo, is the proclamation of enemies of the state of the EHBS: Ernst Troeltsch and Rudolf Bultmann. I would add Nicholas Sparks and Hugh Grant.

Gates also noted some potential pillars of the EHBS, though I would say that they are less "potential" than they already are the pillars that uphold the platform of the EHBS:

One. Bachelorhood is to be embraced not mere interlude between birth and marriage. It is to be embraced for the joys, freedoms and difficulties it offers.

Two. The EHBS is against the idea of universal matrimony [the proposition that all men should eventually marry], but is not anti-matrimony. Marriage of EHBS members may be momentarily mourned, but mostly for the sake of the society. After what is sometimes a deep struggle, matrimony ultimately is celebrated as the next chapter in an individual life.

Three. Oddsmaking, the minimally annual practice of determining likelihood of matrimony and procreation, is a pillar of EHBS which preserves the vitality and furthers the cause of the EHBS. Oddsmaking is to be facilitated by EHBS members in good standing, and those assessed in the odds themselves are not limited to EHBS members.


There you have it, a revolution within a revolution. It's a beautiful thing. It makes me want an ice cream sandwich. Also, it was fifty degrees out today and the "heat wave" created multitudes of lake-sized puddles. I went for a eighty minute walk in the woods and it was delightful. As I was typing that last sentence I received some breaking EHBS news, so I guess this post is timely. Hep. you have my love.