Larry Bigbie

Noooo! Oh, how could this happen under my watch?! I should have seen the signs; the muscles, the production, the rage. Okay. I will be responsible, even if the Player's Union fails to be, even if the players fail to be, even if Selig fails to be. I hereby forfeit my fifth place [out of five] season in the Deerfield League fantasy baseball league of Oh-Four. In said league near the end of the season I released all players except for Mr. Bigbie and renamed the team "Larry Bigbie", in hopes that he alone could carry me out of a thirty-five point difference, so that I would place in the top three. I trusted you Larry, and now, to know the truth after all these years, oh, the anguish. Not that you took part in disgracing a sport that some dare to call a business, but that you have tainted my fantasy sports managerial portfolio. The shame, the shame. And I won't even start with you Chuck Knoblauch. All of this on top of fantasy football playoff season [oh, and finals] is creating a rigidness within my life. I need a donut, or a burger with five meats. you have my love.