When I've had too much coffee

On Friday I had an interesting mix of media-influenced emotions. The night before I had read the first half of Watchmen. During my drive to DSM I listened to the Valentine's Day episode of This American Life, and while driving around DSM for work I was listening to Amos Lee's self-titled release. With Watchmen I had this sense of despair and destruction, with TAL I had a sense of hope in the face of pursuing love, and with Amos I had the beauty of love and the sadness of that love being unrequited. I wasn't entirely sure how to react to it all. It reminded me of one of my all time favorite quotes, from The Brothers Karamazov [Dostoevsky], as said by Father Zosima to Aloysha:

This is not your place for the time. I bless you for great service in the world. Yours will be a long pilgrimage. And you will have to take a wife, too, you will have to. You will have to bear all before you come back. There will be much to do. But I don't doubt of you, and so I send you forth. Christ is with you. Do not abandon Him and He will not abandon you. You will see great sorrow, and in that sorrow you will be happy. This is my last message to you: in sorrow seek happiness.

This quote has resonated in my heart and mind ever since reading it three years ago. I would like to think that it's a bit of a defining passage for my life. It makes me wonder about my story, where it's leading me, or where I am leading it, or better yet, where God is leading the story that I happen to be in. And my mind dwells on the thought of taking risks for the sake of further hope. But in all of this I am happy to spend time having honest conversations with friends who encourage me to continue developing that story. The story will have sorrow, hope, joy, destruction, creation and through all and in all, Christ. And probably some coffee. you have my love.

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