Manliness, part one: It's a process

I'm becoming a man. No, it isn't second puberty [akin to second breakfast]. I'm coming to understand what it means to be a man. I had the thought the other day that it is proof that my relationship with Sarah is all about being in God's timing. God waited until I was in a place in which I could pursue what it means to be a man before I could enter into a truly significant relationship. Good call God, good call. We could have met a year ago as a result of my "Her? campaign", but we didn't. Both of us agree that we wouldn't have worked out if we had met then. But this is a different season of my life, it really is.

It isn't that I haven't been surrounded by awesome guys who were pursuing God over the past decade. Or I that I don't have the most manly dad that I know [we just put up the mountain lion mount in the hallway a couple weeks ago]. It's that I didn't really care. I was happy to not have any real responsibilities. When I moved back to Des Moines last summer, that was where I began to realize that I needed to have responsibilities, and if I didn't have any, I needed to make some. I became involved at Westwind and I decided that I needed to make some relationships that encouraged me towards being more of an adult. I quickly found a community that was pointed in that same direction. And then Sarah and I started dating and dating someone is a surefire way to find out how responsible you can [or can't] be.

That took care of the responsibility part, now for the manliness of it. Sarah and I both agree in some form of spiritual leadership by the man in the relationship. But neither of us really knew how that looks [and now, entirely know - it appears to be some sort of process]. And then I became surrounded by all things manly. I became really good friends with Ryan Kennedy, who was pursuing the same things in his life, his now fiance Kaci was who set the ball in motion for Sarah and I. So I get together with him at least once a week and talk about life and leading and beards [wait for "Manliness, part three"]. And some of the guys at Westwind decided to start a men's group, which meets at 6:15 in the AM. It's pointing us in the direction of authentic manhood, which pretty much means - take responsibility without being a jerk about it, in fact it's more than just not being a jerk about it, but being Godly [pursuing God] and good whilest taking on said responsibility. And we found that we weren't alone in our quest, we found a host of other young men looking to figure this out too.

Then I didn't listen to Sarah when she wanted me to do something that had to do with being a spiritual leader in our relationship, and we almost broke up. It scared me. I really, really like her and so I didn't want to mess that up. But I also wanted to be a man, and so I changed. What it took was some dying to myself and a change in how we communicate, in how I encourage her, how we talk about spiritual things. It was really rough, but it's so good that we both stepped back and realized that things had to change. I'm sure that this won't be the first time that we have that sort of period in our relationship, I just hope that it won't be as rough as the first.

It's a good season in my life, and I am both enjoying it and looking forward to what is to come. Pursuing this thing called manliness, it isn't easy, and I realize that it is completely different for different guys - but it really is good. And it comes with a free beard, not really though. you have my love.

Coming up - part two: Man's man; part three: Beardenzia.